@DoctorDoom , I apologize to you if I came off as argumentative. I think the outline that you have listed has great potential as a story. I would be interested I knowing how the resolution comes about. The government that you've outlined is original to anything that I have read. Your documents are well thought out, and you have obviously done your homework. To further clarify, as some folks seem to think that I agree with the government you have created, I don't. Do I see it as a fine starting point for an interesting story? Absolutely. You will need a strong protagonist or group of protagonists to overthrow, or even change the status quo. To me, that's good writing.
Hi Doc, Unfortunately my machine can't open your first doc - haven't tried the second, so I can't give you feedback on it. But I can give you three simple questions to ask yourself as you look at it. First, how would people get around the laws / regs? In every governmental system there are people who don't like the laws and try to get around them. Take typical western democracies which have things like taxes. Want to ask yourself how many people try not to pay taxes. And how many simply don't pay versus those who look for legal loop holes - eg tax havens and write offs - to get around them. So look at your laws, what they mean for the individual - especially the ones that impose restrictions on them, and ask yourself - how would people try to do an end run around them? Because if you answer that you'll also be examining how the system would be broken / challenged by the people. If no one paid taxes for example, western governments would fall over as would the countries. Second, who are the ones advantaged and disadvantaged by the system? Answer this and you get some idea of how many people are doing to be rebels to whatever extent, and how they'll go about their rebellion. If you government is to be stable, you need the number of unhappy people kept to a minimum, and those who are unhappy kept in line by the various state apparatus. So think Communism. True communism has never been seen in this world. And what we have had instead are various totalitarian governments with communist ideals. But the more difficult the basic concept is for people to swallow - (what - you want me to work for nothing?) - the more state control (KGB, Stazi etc) you need. And at some point, it won't be enough. You also need to think about the ones advantaged by it. The ones who can not just survive but thrive in the system. They will be the ones who will be vested in keeping the government. How will they go about it? How far will they go to keep it? Third look at the sound bites. The ideals and propaganda. So democracy you've got things like - everyone has a vote. Freedom of speech. You have rights. All of those things that are easy to say, easy to listen to, and sound good - whether they are or not. These are the things that create general support for a governmental system. So ask yourself, what are they, and how persuasive will they be to people? Hope that helps. Cheers, Greg.
