What was said: Nice hair! What was meant: Looks like you ran over your head with a lawn mower. What was said: I love your curvy figure.
What was said: I love your curvy figure. What was meant: I love that it's not mine What was said: It shouldn't take that long.
What was said: It shouldn't take that long. What was meant: Darn it, this is going to take my whole day!!! What was said: Aren't you practical?
What was said: Aren't you practical? What was meant: You clearly care too much about saving ten cents. What was said: You should marry him.
What was said: You should marry him. What was meant: You two idiots are made for each other. What was said: Is that your lovely sister?
What was said: Is that your lovely sister What was meant: Who's that guy? What was said: Wow, WHAT WAS REALY MEANT is fun.
(Ha ha... ) What was said: Wow, WHAT WAS REALY MEANT is fun. What was meant: Ok ok... I had just about enough of this boring life! What was said: Looks like you have you're going to have your hands full with this new apartment.
What was said: Looks like you're going to have your hands full with this new apartment. What was meant: I'm pretty sure the downstairs neighbors are selling meth. What was said: Oh, girl, those shoes are super cute!
What was said: Oh, girl, those shoes are super cute. What was meant: Those are the ugliest effin shoes I've ever seen. What was said: Superman is totally cooler than Batman.
What was said: Superman is totally cooler than Batman. What was meant: I hate fun and you shouldn't associate with me. What was said: Celebrity gossip magazines are quality entertainment.
What was said: Celeb gossip magazines are quality entertainment. What was meant: Ew, you read those? Still? Grow up and get a life. What was said: Actually, my cat is shy around strangers.
What was said: Actually, my cat is shy around strangers. What was meant: I don't actually have a cat. What was said: They're an indie band, you've probably never heard of them.
What was said: They're an indie band, you've probably never heard of them. What was meant: I bet your world ended when The Beatles split What was said: When we were in school I always thought you were cool
What was said: When we were in school, I always thought you were cool. What was meant: Until we grew up and I realized that you're a shallow, judgmental bitch. What was said: That's a very interesting idea.
What was said: That's a very interesting idea. What was meant: I don't know how to tell you your idea sucks without sounding rude. What was said: I actually can't make it tonight; I've got a lot of work to do.
What was said: I actually can't make it tonight; I've got a lot of work to do. What was meant: No way in heck, and please don't ask about how tomorrow would sound. What was said: Huh, never heard of it.
What was said: Huh, never heard of it. What was meant: I know exactly what you're talking about, but I'd rather pretend like I don't and avoid a pointless, hour-long conversation. What was said: Don't worry, practice makes perfect.
Don't worry, practice makes perfect ----> You suck, but any constructive criticism I try to give will only make you get all touchy. "You should try the garden salad."
What was said: "You should try the garden salad." What was meant: "Stop eating those fries... You behind doesn't need anymore fat!" What was said: What a lovely rose bush you have.
"What a lovely rose bush you have" --> "Hmmm, my, those could use some pruning. And why are they growing up past the window? And, ew, I see weeds...tsk, tsk, don't have extensive lawn decor if you can't care for it properly!" "We could just hang out at my place."
What was said: "We can just hang out at my place" What was meant: "I don't want to be seen out in public with you." ----- What was said: I can't believe you're actually getting married!
"I can't believe you're actually getting married!" --> "Really? You're getting married already, at 17, to someone you've known for three months? Aren't you in for a nasty surprise..." "Do you mind if I have a diet Pepsi?"
What was said: "Do you mind if I have a diet Pepsi?" What was meant: "You better tell me where the beer is at." ----- What was said: You're a really great friend.
"You're a really great friend." ---> "What a sucker, you're the only person around who hasn't caught on to the fact that this is how I always am...well, thanks for bailing me out yet again." "Do you mind if I open a window? It's a bit hot in here."
What was said: "Do you mind if I open a window? It's a bit hot in here." What was meant: "Jesus christ that fart stinks." My sentence: Is this your campsite or mine?
