What was said: Oh, are hats in fashion now? What was meant: I really[ like cheese. Is that moose in your hair?
What was said: Is that moose in your hair? What was meant: What were you doing last night? What was said: J/k!
What was said: J/k! What was meant: I actually meant every word, I just like to end my biting criticism with j/k to ease the pain of it. What was said: I like to enjoy a glass of wine now and then.
What was said: I like to enjoy a glass of wine every now and then. What was meant: I like to drink glasses of vodka alone in my laundry room because I have no friends. Also, I have no shame in downing 12 shots at the company Christmas party and hitting on 20-year-olds when I am 60. What was said: Oh, honey, you must be cold!
What was said: "Oh, honey, you must be cold!" What was meant: "Geez, how can you wear short sleeves in this weather!?!" What was said: "Sorry, I'm busy that day."
What was said: "Sorry, I'm busy that day." What was meant: "Pretty sure you're you total creep and I REALLY don't want to go out with you. What was said: "You're such a good guy!"
What was said: "You're such a good guy!" What was meant: What a loser... You need a reality check, you think anyone is going to like you after you treat people like that?! What was said: Oh you've different colour walls in each room of your home; you certainly are original.
What was said: Oh you've different colour walls in each room of your home; you certainly are original. What was meant: You either tried to coordinate your rooms or you grabbed a handful of swatches at the hardware store. What was said: Just want I wanted, a new set of curtains!
What was said: Just want I wanted, a new set of curtains! What was meant: Did those things fall of the back of the truck, or did you come into a large sum of meney recently? What was said: Do you still have dice dangling from the rearview mirror in your car?
What was said: Do you still have dice dangling from the rearview mirror in your car? What was meant: You better have gotten rid of those dice, they make you look like a total weirdo. What was said: You certainly have a unique writing style.
What was said: You certainly have a unique writing style. What was meant: This is so awful, I don't even know what to say. What was said: You are so much better than me!
What was said: You are so much better than me! What was meant: You are such a self-righteous, obnoxious and condescending martyr. Get over yourself. What was said: "I actually prefer living by myself, but thanks."
What was said: I actually prefer living by myself, but thanks. What was meant: I would rather in a ten foot square iron box filled with scorpions suspended in the Thames than step foot in that dank pit of literal feces you call a room. What was said: Justin Bieber? Your taste in music is certainly fresh and up to date!
What was Said: Justin Bieber? Your taste in music is certainly fresh and up to date! What was Meant: Please excuse me while I drink myself to death as I mourn for the music that actually had substance. What was Said: Good luck; you're gonna need it.
What was Said: Justin Bieber? Your taste in music is certainly fresh and up to date! What was Meant: Please excuse me while I drink myself to death as I mourn for the music that actually had substance. What was Said: Good luck; you're gonna need it.
What was Said: Good luck; you're gonna need it. What was Meant: You're kidding, with all your weight, you think you can actually win that race. What was Said: He certainly is a modern man.
What was said: He certainly is a modern man. What was meant: I overheard him crying because Facebook was down for maintenance for the day. What was said: Would you like some cookies?
Ok dear... This one cracked me up. Ha ha. What was said: Would you like some cookies? What was meant: Please take one of these disgusting cookies... I can't stand them. What was said: Yes, sometimes life is unfair on the nice people.
What was said: Yes, sometimes life is unfair on the nice people. What was meant: Nice guys finish last. What was said: Wow, you smell, uh... fragrant today!
'Wow, you smell, uh, fragrant today!" ---> "EW! When you haven't showered in three days and smell like old sweat, spraying on lemon perfume is NOT the answer!" "Just so you know, there's a pretty big dead cockroach under your dining room table."
What was said: "Just so you know, there's a pretty big dead cockroach under your dining room table." What was meant: "It really ties the room together.. Dude." "Are you eating that here? or to go?"
What was said: "Are you eating that here? Or to go?" What was meant: "When the heck are you going to leave? The sooner the better!" What was said: "You're not looking so good..."
What was said: "You're not looking so good..." What was meant: "I'm slowly backing up because I fear you may vomit at any moment!!" What was said: "You are a masterful story teller!"
What was said: You are a masterful story teller! What was meant: God, would she shut up already and bone me? What was said: Wow, Quan, you are very cultural.
What was said: Wow, Quan, you are very cultural. What was meant: Oh so you think you know it all, Mr Quan?!! What was said: Your car is cute.
