What's with all the pointless romance and sex in books lately?

I think having sex in stories is disturbing. Even the books aimed towards younger teens and preteens have it in them. Kids that age shouldn't be thinking about that sort of thing.

 

All getting a little shrill about sex in books/in general feels a little Orwellian, in your sashes x

 

Sex sells in our culture right now. We've glorified sex to the point where it's being placed over characters and plot in many stories.

 

Years ago, I read or heard someone say that you always had to have a sex scene in a book. That didn't sound right to me, but I remembered the statement, because I disagreed with it so much. I know that advice is out there, because I will often read novels or non-fiction accounts of events that really have nothing to do with sex, but there's a sudden sex scene in the book, anyway. My first thought is always that their editor or someone forced the author to put the scene in the book.

Separately, I wrote a novel that I've given to several people to read. The novel is about the relationship between a husband and a wife. The men who have read it have commented along the lines of 'wow, there's a lot of sex in the novel." One man made this comment when he was only halfway through, which I found odd, because there was almost NO sex in the first half of the novel. There was discussion *about* sex, but no sex scenes or depictions. The odd thing is that NONE of the women who have read the book thought there was a lot of sex in the book. Even when I directly asked them, "did you think there was a lot of sex in the novel?" They'd look at me, puzzled, and say "no -- wasn't there just that one scene?" Because there is one scene involving sex. There are also a few implied sex scenes. Don't really know what to make of that.

I had also written a separate scene involving a flashback sex scene. My husband read it and looked like he was about to have a stroke. "You can't put that in the book," he said. I was surprised, because there is no real description of the act itself -- just what this one character is thinking. The scene bonds the two MCs because of their worries about what happens afterwards, and how that worry is irrelevant later in the book. Upon further interrogation, my husband said that it wasn't that the scene was graphic, but that it was too realistic. I wasn't sure what to make of that comment, either.

 

I agree. The glorification of sex in our culture is disturbing. I wouldn't want my kids reading books with sexual innuendo, let alone with sex scenes in them. Children are able to understand sex intellectually, but they wouldn't be able to link the descriptions to physical sensations -- unless a vast majority of them have had sex themlseves, which would be even more disturbing. I know that children aren't the epitome of innocence anymore, and that some children under the age of 10 are already having sex, but should we throw away a whole tradition of innocence in children's literature merely for the sake of a social phenomenon that is still admittedly controversial?

I guess it all comes down to this: do you want to write exclusively following the expectations of the public and marketing trends? Or do you want to write something in which you believe? If you want to write a romance with sex, then do it. But do it because you want to, or because it feels natural to the story. If you don't want it, then don't.

 

Personally, I don't really find it disturbing so much as dull. It gets in the way, most of the time, and I'm finding myself increasingly commonly putting books down because there's unnecessary sex in them.

@Lady Amalthea I see where you're coming from and I'm inclined to agree, but there are exceptions - one notable example that comes to mind is John Green's 'Looking for Alaska.' The book is about teenagers and is one scene with fairly explicit sexual content in it, but, to paraphrase the author himself, it is 'awkward, uncomfortable, and definitely not erotic.' In fact, it exists to give contrast the the incredibly intimate, although non-physical relationship the narrator has with Alaska, and I'm pretty sure that's the kind of contrast responsible parents would want their kids to see.

 

I went to Barnes & Noble one day, looking for a good book to get my friend for her birthday. What I saw horrified me - an entire section of "Paranormal Romance" novels for teens.

What has society come to? Why do books about having sex with vampires sell so well? It's absolutely ridiculous.

I've got no problem with romance if it benefits the story. Just as long as romance isn't the basis of the entire plot.

 

Sex is a natural part of humanity and as such shouldn't be excluded in stories where it is a natural step for characters to take. A well written and relevant sex scene can be important to stories, especially if it's adding to character development or some sort of conflict in the story.

I agree that the use of sex unnecessarily can be a cheap thrill, especially when it doesn't have a place between the characters or within the story line. I think that goes for a lot of things though. The 'love triangle' element that a lot of YA fiction uses comes to mind too. I don't find sex scenes in books bad unless they're written badly.