1. Patra Felino
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    Patra Felino Active Member

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    Which WF member would you select to take the Ring to Mordor and cast it into Mount Doom?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Patra Felino, Apr 18, 2014.

    We’ve all wondered it.

    I thought T. Trian might do a decent job (combat experience, probably knows about survival techniques and stuff, but might crack and put the Ring on in a fit of Ka-missing angst). Then I thought of Andrae Smith (have a feeling we could persuade him not to put the Ring on, and seems to be in good physical shape, but the rookie element is a big issue). I was considering Wreybies until I remembered his terrible sense of direction, which would surely be a huge problem if you’ve got to go all the way to Mordor.

    I’d panic, put the Ring on three times in the first evening and be worse than Gollum by the end of Easter, so you count me out. Anyone want to step up?
     
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  2. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Wait are we talking Frodo who survives minus a finger, or Golem who actually has it in his hand and melts in the lava with it?
     
  3. Patra Felino
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    Patra Felino Active Member

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    Well, I guess I mean who you would back to take the Ring all the way from the Shire to Mount Doom. In place of Frodo, Gandalf et al. Who would be best suited to the mission profile?

    Further clarifications to be provided upon request.
     
  4. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Jannert, definitely Jannert. She is an owl and can just fly it there saving sooooo much time.

    :D
     
  5. Lae
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    Lae Contributing Member Contributor

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    i'd take it, not that i want it or anything....o_O

    do i get to choose my own gollum? one that serves the master of the precious?
     
  6. Patra Felino
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    Patra Felino Active Member

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    You want Gollum to serve you, you can wait for him to jump you in the middle of the night and persuade him you're his master. Just one of the many perils you will face. Fancy it?
     
  7. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Just to clarify one tidbit: I've been in a few fights, but I've never seen combat. No military experience, you see (alas!). And, yes, there might be a slight chance I might be inclined to just hide the ring in a random abandoned shoe I find by the road, cram it into some unsuspecting hare's home hole (along with a bunch of carrots), and then bugger off back home to Kat. :D

    I'd send @GingerCoffee. She'd just provide statistics and scientific research data to totally convince Sauron he shouldn't, actually, want the ring back at all, that ring bearers have succeeded in destroying rings throughout history, and that he should, in fact, not only grant her safe passage to and back from Mount Doom, but to also bake her an apple pie with home-made vanilla sauce while she's at it. :D
     
  8. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    No, no, no. Middle earth would have been F'd but good had the task fallen to me. :eek: As mentioned, zero sense of direction. Also, I am pisces to the bone! Easily distracted by sparkly objects. I don't do well with hunger; thus, my boyfriend, Samwise (Pfft! Like you didn't know!) and I would be fighting all the time, and the other gay couple, Pippin and Merry would start distancing themselves from us because no one wants to be around a gay couple having a fight, trust me. We would have gotten to Rivendell and if Sam and I were still really in a snit with each other, then matters would only have gone from bad to beastly because did you not see those elven dudes?? Those mugs wuz smockin' hot! I'd'a been all up on some elf action. Sauron wins. The End.

    I agree with @T.Trian! Send @GingerCoffee! Miss Thing would come back having won and negotiated a repatriation treaty for the Orcs (remember that they were once Elves), De-Orcification programs (at Sauron's expense) and a per-diem and milage for the whole quest thingy. ;)
     
  9. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I'm out. I wouldn't be tempted to put the ring on - I'm very pure-hearted :), and besides, I hate wearing rings :) - and I'm not afraid of orcs. But giant spiders utterly freak me out. Also, I have no skill with weapons, and a twelve-string guitar isn't going to strike fear into anybody. ;)

    I'd still nominate @Wreybies. It doesn't matter what his sense of direction is like; he speaks all the languages, so he could just ask anybody he meets where the heck Mordor is. Besides, he was in the Air Force, so he'd just commandeer a stealth bomber, fly over Mount Doom, and drop the ring in from a safe altitude without Sauron even knowing he was there. :D
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2014
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  10. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    I don't fare so well negotiating with ideologues. ;)

    I think the comedy team of @Lewdog and @Garball would have the Orcs in stitches allowing the duo to slip past them with ease as the Orcs rolled on the floor. As for which one lost the finger and which one melted with the ring, I can't predict.
     
  11. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    @Garball can fall in the lava, he's used to the heat of the kitchen. :cool:
     
  12. Patra Felino
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    Patra Felino Active Member

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    @T.Trian: By WF standards you've got combat experience. It's pure bonus anyway; Frodo and Sam were terrible at fighting at the start.

    @Wreybies: I appreciate your honesty. Anyone that thinks they're going to put the Ring on too much should be honest about it now and save us all a whole lot of hassle. Excessive optimism gets us nowhere. Pippin should never have turned up for a start: total liability from start to finish imo.
     
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  13. Lae
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    Lae Contributing Member Contributor

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    Haha

    Do I want a member of the forum to jump me in the middle of the night and have me persuade them I'm their master?

    Well, that depends entirely on who I pick :p
     
  14. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    I can't go. I'm the king of men. My job lies elsewhere.
     
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  15. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    No, you can't go because you would be sidetracked trying to put the ring on a part of your body other than your finger.
     
  16. MLM
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    MLM Banned for trolling

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    I'd entrust this great power to myself. I know I would *never* do anything bad. 8)
     
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  17. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    IKR?!?! Had the story been written today, with our grittier take on things, you just know that as soon as the bucket down the well thing happened in the Mines of Moria Gandolf would have pushed him in after the bucket and then looked at everyone and said, "What? You were all thinking it. Grow a pair, bitches."
     
  18. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Look, if you want to take your team of time bandits and sneak into snake mountain to fight Voldemort with your lightsaber, that's fine. Yo Joe! And may the Schwartz be with you.
     
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  19. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    I'm taking Joe Pesci, Danny DeVito, and that guy from Game of Thrones. Then I'll take Criss Angel and Brock Lesnar. That's my team.
     
  20. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Depends on what you'd play. Strum out a Coldplay song and all the orcs would start crying and fondling themselves at the same time, play a bit of Jonas Brothers and observe the effects of a proper WMD, or, if you want to lull them to sleep, go for some Sting.


    Surely you mean one of those big-ass eagles? It could drop giant bird craps on any opposition (like the nazgul).


    @Patra Felino, fair enough. Besides, Frodo and Sam didn't have guns, which was a serious handicap I wouldn't have. And I wouldn't waste time having bromantic moments with my "just friend." Nothing wrong with it per se, but it kinda gets in the way of the quest schedule.
     
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  21. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    And I have another advantage. Like Frodo, I do not know the way.
     
  22. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Ooo! Just think how fetch I would look riding one of those gobsmacking great eagles with my new Silvan Elf hubby (definitely a Silvan Elf, the others are too snooty) ;)
     
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  23. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    @Wreybies and Legolas sittin in Lothlorien, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!
     
  24. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    I imagine I'm ... Tom Bombadil, then? :p
     
  25. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    So Wreybies is an 'ear' guy.

    [​IMG]
     
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