Which WF member would you select to take the Ring to Mordor and cast it into Mount Doom?

Can we bring JJ back and pair him up with @GingerCoffee ? It would be the shortest fellowship ever. Not even Peter Jackson could make it longer than 10 minutes.

 

Thanks!

@Garball, honestly, I think I would have the shortest fellowship with JJ.

 

He could go by himself, thank you.

 

In my case, resisting evil would not be the problem. Not fleeing in terror would be the problem. I'd need a bunch of brave, strong, skilled warriors to go with me. Maybe Seal Team Six. Maybe an armored tank division. Yeah, then I could do it...

 

"I'd need to up my workouts to 'Quest level'", eh? That's why you're on the team.

I'd up my drinking to 'Quest level':

What's thfecking point. Hic. Fecking orcs gonna ...hic...mumble...anyway. Bartender? Another ale and a mead on the side. Sam, shut the fuck up. I'm sure Mordor will still be there next week. Hic. Don't worry about the gold, you leave first and I'll put the old Ring on and nip out after you. Hic.

 

I'd leap out of the bushes and wail so hard on my guitar the orcs would explode into tiny bloody bits. Then I'd shoot the tiny bloody bits into smaller bloody bits. Yup, that sounds about right.

There's another benefit of having @KaTrian along; she's so skinny, she'd fit through all kinds of small spaces when navigating her way towards Mt. Doom. I, on the other hand, would have to bring along a lot of vaseline to be able to follow her. And I'd have to be totally nekkid, which would be a little awkward and impractical come time for fisticuffs.

I also second @Duchess-Yukine-Suoh. She just has something very Frodo-ian about her, the quintessential unsuspecting heroine drawn into a grand adventure against her will. She's so pure-hearted, she could be our incorruptible ring bearer while we'd watch her back.
ETA: Of course, in that case, I'd totally keep my clothes on...

 

Wooh! made another list. >_< Resisting evil isn't so tough in and of itself. It's resisting one's self that's the hard part. I've got no interest in power, but then neither did Frodo, until the end.

D'aaaw, sorry we aren't good enough for ya. I bet you can be quite lionhearted when you want.

Brilliant ha ha. We someone like that. Don't know why, but drinkers always seem to have or bring good luck on these things.

 

This made me snort beer out of my nose. Thanks, @T.Trian!

 

Haha, funny thread

Wait... I'm not a woman? What am I, a purse?

Just kiddin'. No, I think you'd do a better job. Being more sensible and possibly less easily distracted.

They would mis-estimate me for sure. Perhaps expect to easily crush me... But really, I'd just run like hell.

Tbh, I don't like sleeping in the wild. Mosquitoes, ants, coldness, hard surfaces, only cold water to wash yourself with... On the other hand, I've heard it's warm up on Mt. Doom? Mm, I like warmth... hot lava...

I honestly can't say if putting WF members on this quest would result in glorious triumph or unprecedented chaos.

 

Wait, I'm not going without some kind of internet device. Do you think Mordor has any cell phone towers?

 

Whoops, I meant to go back and edit that lol. I knew I was forgetting something. Let me fix that for ya! Silly me.
Yeah, Mt. Doom get's pretty hot, a great vaca spot if you don't like cold winters. Just watch for orcs every now and again. Oh! And there is this creepy eye thing that you might want to avoid... and the smell of sulfur and brimstone...

Well there were 2 towers in Middle Earth, but I don't think they're all that good for cellphones.

 

I'm a squirrel, dude. Blindingly quick and agile when fleeing housecats, let alone lions! But yeah, there have been a few time in my life when I've been brave. If someone I love is involved, I could probably muster up something good.

And don't knock yourself. You're plenty good enough. You, the Trians, @Wreybies, @mammamaia because she's been everywhere and knows everything, @GingerCoffee because she's 100% honey badger and will not let go when she gets hold of something (orcs, watch out!), our @Duchess-Yukine-Suoh because she's inspiring, @Cogito and @Lemex because they're experts, @JetBlackGT because he probably has the coolest ride, @Daniel because he's the Boss, etc. etc. etc.

Writingforums Team Six!

 

Always happy to deliver, my friend. How's the nose, still prickly?

I predict you'd use your legendary sprinting speed to outrun every orc, mountain troll, nazgul, and balrog, making it to Mt. Doom and back in record time. Without even practicing. *jealous grumbling*

 

The fate of Middle Earth and all its inhabitants hang in the balance and you're worried about internet device? What is wrong with you, Lew? The Hobbits, Dwarves, and Men not being slaves to Sauron and his butt-ugly minions trump your internet fix by an astronomical amount. >:[

 

How am I supposed to concentrate when I don't know if my favorite baseball team is winning? Just think of how useful the internet would be. I could look up directions, find out how to kill huge spiders, and Siri could tell me a bed time story. You are being too close minded!

 

Oh snap, now you ruined it
I guess this won't be my kind of quest after all. I'll be happy chillin' in Rivendell. If someone gets the internet going, I'll keep an eye on your tweets/FB updates!

 

Yeah. The thing that concerns me, though, is that I snorted beer out of my nose when I wasn't even drinking beer. I don't like seeing doctors for insignificant things like this, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a mutant with superhuman powers.

 

You make your own beer? Did you taste it? Is it any good? Was it regular or light beer? These are important questions!

 

@minstrel, I gotta agree with @Lewdog; you should totally bottle it and sell it. Maybe market it for teenagers (in Europe) as the coolest, most offensive, snottiest beer ever? You could probably adjust the alcohol content by consuming various amounts of vodka or create different flavors by drinking different juices (raspberry for girls, blueberry for boys, prunes for old people etc.) prior to the sneezery.

 

A little secret that not many people know. If you get a real foamy beer with a large head on it (Insert Garball joke here). You can just rub the sides of your nose and get a little nose grease, then rub it in a circle in your beer mug and the foam will go away!

 

"Minstrel's Snot Beer." I'm sure that will be very popular! Prunes for old people? I just shot beer out of my nose again, and I'm drinking green tea.

You realize I could never do this on a commercial scale unless you're willing to keep coming up with these lines that cause me to do it, right? I'd cut you in for a percentage, but you have to come through!

 

What did I just read...?
I'm having the funniest vision right now.

 

Think I'm kidding?

http://www.chow.com/food-news/54430/why-does-nose-grease-tame-beer-foam/

 

"Nose Grease" would be a good name for a disgusting rock band.

 

I prefer the name "Swamp Ass" for a grunge band.