1. SuperVenom
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    SuperVenom Contributing Member

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    Who is whom and who is doing that....?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by SuperVenom, Jun 1, 2013.

    Here is a problem i have been battling with

    I have two MC and they are now in same area, Matthew is with his girlfriend while Simon is searching down a hole for food.
    Now I have written this in 3rd person but focused in on Matthew (as out of the 2 he is the stronger lead character, the story centers around him, Simon is a strong support character who is needed to drive the plot forward. ie survival skills etc.)

    Here is the sticky wicket.
    I have written the scene so it starts off Matthew is talking to his girlfriend about how he cant be bothered with the whole adventure and she is trying to settle him, So the scene is focused on them.
    However Simon over to the side has found a startling plot device within the hole. And i need to write what he see's as he is talking to himself.

    Now....
    How can i write this without head hopping or doing the cheesy "Oh look what i found" tag

    Is it ok to mildly head hop? it's not so much the finding the plot device , it's more Simon reaction to it as it would be better to see the surprise and sadness though his eyes. But it would be a very short scene if i was to change like that as it would then go back to Matthews reaction to Simon.
     
  2. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    sounds to me like it would be confusing to have just that little bit written from another character's pov... if it's the only time you do it, i'd say 'don't!'...
     
  3. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Is it 3rd Person Limited? You mention 3rd Person but then voice the concerns of a 1st Person or 3rd Person Limited POV scene.... A confusion has taken root in the soft clay of my mind. :confused:
     
  4. SuperVenom
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    SuperVenom Contributing Member

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    true I suppose it's not limited but I wrote it as circling round Matthew. I chose a person for a scene and hsve 80% of it following them. It's just that this little bit confuses me as I need Simon to be the one to find the device but I'm not sure that if I do it would be considered head hopping. Sorry for any confusion I been told I'm good at that :D... confusing people that is.
     
  5. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    If it's not 3rd Limited or 1st Person, then I don't see an issue. I would not consider it head hopping. At least not in a negative sense. It may still technically be, but that's the privilege of a 3rd person store, is it not? Nearly all 3rd Person stories favor some character in particular, but give time to the rest as well.
     
  6. SuperVenom
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    SuperVenom Contributing Member

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    Cheers, made me feel a lot better :) thanks guys.
     

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