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  1. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Why Do We Have To Like Each Other?

    Discussion in 'Debate Room' started by Garball, Feb 12, 2014.

    This is a question that has plagued me since I was knee-high to a grasshopper? Why do we have to let others into our club? Perhaps, it is the several decades of a more accepting culture that have softened me a little, but I still ask the question. So what if a bunch of guys don't want girls in their club? So what if vice versa? Why is it not OK to be exclusive? So what if you disagree; what if it is stupid? Make your own club.

    There is a growing intolerant community out there and they are growing intolerant of the intolerant.
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    We are a gregarious species. It's pretty simple.
     
  3. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't know whether to address this seriously (purely social associations versus business associations, etc.) or not?
     
  4. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    But that doesn't mean we can be picky about who we socialize with. We are also tribal and cliquish
     
  5. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Yes! Yes, we are. And it's more important to how we organize and create rules about socializing and societies than most think. See my next response.

    To an extent, and it's the extent that validates your comment, not refutes it. 20 - 25 individuals is the default number in our basic programming. From ardipethicus ramidus up to about 3 seconds ago, that's how we lived: groups of 20 - 25 members. In the massive numbers in which we currently live, some culturally enforced "getting along" is required or we tend to start killing one another. Even with those measures in place, we still do it on a regular basis.
     
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  6. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    My name is Bob. I don't like dog lovers because my religion tells me it is wrong. I don't dislike the person, but I would rather not be inundated with that type of behavior and dogs should not be allowed in parks.

    My name is Greg. I don't really care what you do in your life. I actually have an open dog-loving friends and it doesn't bother me that much. However, if I could pick, I would prefer not to be around that type of lifestyle. I avoid parks because of this

    My name is Fred. Call me a Dogaphobe, but I hate Dogs; I Hate people who don't hate dogs. They are gross and stinky. I will make it a point to not be around those people. If you bring a dog into my yard, I will chase it away

    Are the above three examples bad people? Are they not entitled to their opinions? Would it be more of a wrong to enforce dog free parks or to force all parks to allow dogs?
     
  7. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    *shrug*

    We're a pack animal living as a herd animal. There will never be any perfect answer for any of it because we don't live in a manner natural to us, as regards relating to large numbers of others, and it is the height of poor taste to point out that were we any other creature on the planet, we'd be talking about our population density in terms of "plague species". None of the above scenarios you indicate bother me personally in the least, but history shows us that none of the above scenarios (or their reciprocal opposites) stay at the indicated level for long because of our unnaturally tight living arrangements. We start to get on each other's nerves. We even start to get on the nerves of those who identify with us.
     
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  8. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    What is the driving force behind some individuals to break down certain social cliques? Who would want to hold the title of first male server at Hooters?
     
  9. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    That's a very different question from "clubs" or who you like. That's about employment.
     
  10. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Not really. There is no reason to go through all the legal/ media hassle to obtain a job at hooters. It was an agenda
     
  11. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    We all have comfort zones as individuals or groups. Sometimes those walls that keep us safe are built from brick, sometimes they are built by hate, or exclusivity, or familiarity. When outsiders break down those walls, they are not exposing uncharted territory. They are laying siege to tiny castles of comfort whose inhabitants are content in their lifestyle and who may come and go as they please
     
  12. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    It all boils down to my dad's simple saying: The right to swing your arm ends where the other guy's nose begins.

    I see no problem with forming into groups based on what you enjoy in common and interests you share. And to limit the size of the group as well, so individuals matter and cohesion is strong. But this does NOT mean that other groups can't do the same.

    As long as every group respects the rights of every other group to exist, then we're toddling along perfectly well. As soon as one group starts infringing on the territory of another group, or wanting to banish the existence of another group ...well that's when the trouble starts. This can range from Nazis wanting to do ethnic cleansing, to dog haters wanting to ban the ownership of dogs.

    You brought up the notion of dogs which is not a bad issue to consider. I do love dogs (to an extent). However, I don't own one, because I see dog ownership as incompatible with city life. (I like big dogs, not little yappy ones.) IF I owned a dog out in the country, it could run free (under voice control) poop in the undergrowth, and as long as it didn't attack sheep or chase cars, it would bother nobody. I would never let a dog run loose in the city, or lunge or growl at people, bark its head off at every little thing. I would certainly clean up its poop.

    I personally know people who are scared of dogs. I also know people who just don't like pets very much. I need to respect all of these views. However, THEY need to respect the fact that dogs do exist as pets and some people love them. A person who hates dogs should avoid visiting the home of someone who owns them. At the same time, the dog owner should never take their dog to a home where it's not welcome.

    As long as the two sides of this issue respect the other, then we're fine as a society. Aren't we? It's only when one viewpoint decides it's the ONLY viewpoint, and that anyone who doesn't agree doesn't matter, that we end up with a problem.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2014
  13. Aaron Smith
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    Aaron Smith Contributing Member Contributor

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    We're evolved flock animals: Instead of picking out people who would help our chances of survival, we choose people we like. It's fairly instinctive, I think. Don't quote me though, it's merely and opinion. Maybe I'll elaborate later, maybe not. Sorta tired.
     
  14. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    So....Women at The Citadel? Guys at hooters? Blacks and whites sharing facilities? Cub Scouts and gays?

    Where do we draw the lines? Bowling teams? Klans?

    The power of the A&M ring in Texas is more influential than skull& bones.

    Where is the line drawn?
     
  15. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Why not like each other?

    I mean, barring the extremes, like child molestors, rapists, sociopaths, and so on. Setting that sort of thing aside, why not?
     
  16. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    Unconditional love is difficult.
     
  17. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    Actually, there is a very interesting biological fact to this.

    It's called Dunbar's Number. Depending on the size of a primates neocortex, we can deduce how many others he could produce empathy for. Beyond that number, the primate cannot empathize with them. Same goes for humans.

    The general magic number is 150, though it varies, of the maximum a human can have. This includes anyone you know that you haven't parted ways with for good (Broken off any ties) and this would exempt old friends who you would reconnect with. You can also use a single number of the 150 for an entire group (This is why cities of millions can coexist peacefully enough) such as gays, foreigners, right-wing conservatives.

    Basically, anyone beyond that magical number, is inhuman and allows us to click off the TV when we hear about the recent hurricane victims. They take the most extended number, same-specie strangers, and have no real value aside from being just like you.

    But yeah, Dunbar's number. It's what makes us go into cliques of certain sizes and why small groups for war units is effective. Why didn't all the army train together and camp together? Because leaders realized that partitioning them off in smaller groups kept moral up and fights broke out less. Mob mentality probably adds to the dangers of large groups.
     
  18. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    Doesn't have to be unconditional. But I tend to like people, as a rule.
     
  19. Garball
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    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

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    II
     
  20. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    People are fine, it's stupid ideas that are the problem.
     
  21. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    We should be able to include or exclude anyone we want in our life.
     
  22. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    It all depends if everyone is likeable. Many people are not.
     
  23. Bryan Romer
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    Bryan Romer Contributing Member Contributor

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    With regard to the OP's original question, I would never allow "others" into my group. I would rather disband the group and go it alone. I am not a social person. I live alone and none of those I call friends live anywhere near me.
     
  24. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    It's just social pressures. We're living in such a politically correct climate that we feel it's an insult to tell anyone they're not allowed in certain groups. We live in a society of universal inclusion.
     
  25. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    Because why not like people? We're all in life together anyway.
     
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