1. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Why not just eat her?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Imaginarily, Feb 13, 2016.

    Alrighty, forum. I need your wisdom once more.

    So I've decided I really like the idea of Kat as Jack's stalker. But @Tenderiser raised a pretty good point with me in PM — why doesn't he just kill her?

    Sparkly fanfiction aside :wtf:, the best reason I can think of is that Kat is somehow important and killing her would just make things infinitely worse. Jack can't disappear either, because he's got pretty significant local obligations.

    So, why is Kat so special? o_O I really can't think of anything.
     
  2. Lifeline
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    Lifeline The Dark - not in Wonderland Supporter Contributor

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    I have not read your story so far, but I could think of several:

    - He likes her? On some level?
    - He is a thrill-seeker?
    - He wants to kill her in his own time and fashion?
    - He is fascinated why she would do something like that and wants to find out?
    - It would give him a handle to gather support from someone? It would make a good cover for something?
     
  3. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Unfortunately, none of these fit with his character. What do you mean by it would give him a handle? And who's covering what up?
     
  4. Lifeline
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    Lifeline The Dark - not in Wonderland Supporter Contributor

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    Maybe he needs someone to cover for some action he wants to take down the road? To help him? Having a stalker would certainly give him the possibility to gather someone to cover for him when he wants to disappear for a few days? After all, he just wants to avoid his stalker ;)
     
  5. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    HE LOVES HER. He doesn't have to be sparkly :(
    • Someone he cares about and/or can't piss off loves her, either romantically or as a relative. Maybe she could be Marshall's daughter?
    • She knows a secret and has arranged that if she dies, it's revealed (cliché but whatever, this is a brainstorm)
    • She has a power that makes Jack weak. Like SHE is a hypno-gazer but even better than him.
     
  6. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    You might get more useful responses if you actually gave a quick summary or outline of your story. How should we give useful suggestions if we don't even know who on earth is Kat or Jack? I understand you've discussed this elsewhere - perhaps link us back to your first thread in your OP so readers can have some context.
     
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  7. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    skeptical_tommyleejones.gif

    No he doesn't.

    Also, I feel like Marshall's anybody would be pretty quickly reprimanded for that. :/

    Cliché or not, I kinda like that "secret" idea. Go on...

    *ahem*

    :whistle: Oopsie. That's a very good point.

    So, the story takes place in a modern setting, ie, you walk outside and you're there. Jack is a vampire (nobody knows tho), runs a gothy dance club downtown, and his girlfriend, Sadae, works there as a stripper / exotic dancer.

    Jack also works with an assisted suicide hotline on the side, mostly as a hobby. People call in, jump through some hoops, and they're sent to Jack so he can kill them. Originally Kat was a hotline client who couldn't make up her mind, thereby preventing Jack from touching her due to moral reasons... cos he's not a monster, sheesh.

    I completely lost my train of thought because I started watching a Twitch stream while writing this, soooo. *wanders off*
     
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  8. LostThePlot
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    LostThePlot Contributing Member

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    You may not be writing something as black as this but if it was me he'd be screwing with her to see if he can finally get her to make her mind up and kill herself. I mean, she's prey; he was going to straight up murder her, why not? Maybe he gets emotionally invested and ends up backing out of that, but that's what I'd do. They adventure, with him continually needling her, they succeed, then bam downer ending and he watches her swing from a light fitting. I would read this.
     
  9. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    :supergrin::supergrin::supergrin: You're funny.

    All right, so you say "thereby preventing Jack from touching her due to moral reasons, 'cause he's not a monster."

    Isn't that your reason for "Why doesn't he just eat her?" :superthink:
     
  10. ToeKneeBlack
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    ToeKneeBlack Contributing Member Contributor

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    Maybe she reminds him of himself somehow? Perhaps her circumstances are similar to his at an earlier point in his life.
     
  11. LostThePlot
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    LostThePlot Contributing Member

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    I suppose you could do that, if you insist on not having him swing on her heels. My vampire is way more fun though.
     
  12. Shbooblie
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    Shbooblie Contributing Member

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    Maybe he can't just do away with her because he can't afford to run the risk of being a potential murder suspect. It's a new age of modern forensic technology, vamps can't just be killing like they did in the good old days, now they run the risk of actually getting caught and if they get caught the jig is up. Not sure if it will work in your story but that's the angle I'm using in mine to explain why my MC doesn't just tackle people to the ground when he's in a tough spot.
     
  13. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    Because it would end the book early?!!!

    Cheers, Greg.
     
  14. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Mostly yes. Jack would never kill anybody and let the body be found for exactly the reasons you mentioned here. However, if he were to become a murder suspect (for someone he didn't kill) the authorities wouldn't find enough evidence against him to do anything. He's not guilty, but he's not innocent either. The last thing he would want is an actual murder on his hands, with motive, getting people all suspicious.

    I'm just not sure if that reason is strong enough, though. Shouldn't she have more relevant leverage? Like his birth certificate or something? o_O

    But is that enough for a whole book? :bigeek:
     
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  15. LostThePlot
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    LostThePlot Contributing Member

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    Definitely not! That's absolutely why you should put them in this emotionally abusive, semi-sexually charged relationship where she's alternating between trying to earn his approval and asking him to kill her. All he wants is to get rid of her but he can't quite bring himself to just kill her and she's too dependent on him to ever run away. Let me tell you man, that kind of relationship has extremely long legs. It's something that has a nice arc that you can run along side the main plot, the two can play off each other (so, her being useful to him adventuring might start to change their relationship; or if she's a hindrance and he lets her tag along anyway, that says something) and fill all the space around the plot. It'll define them both extremely well as characters, it'll say a lot about how humans and vampires see each other, it'll throw problems in the way of the plot when you need it.

    Trust me, that's a relationship that you can really work with. Yeah, it's a bit glib to say that maybe he's trying to bait her into killing herself; but that kind of dark, dependent relationship that's got constant tension, where he's a jerk that comes round (or doesn't) and she's so totally dependent on him as her savior (whether he thinks he is or not) will give you something that's really going somewhere.
     
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  16. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Maybe so, I just don't see Jack ever participating in that kind of relationship. He's not abusive, nor is he emotionally manipulative. Kat needs to have some sort of leverage against him to keep herself relevant.
     
  17. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Why would he just kill her though? Because that's what vampires do? Like, is there pressure on Jack to just eat her, as you say, so he has to justify why he isn't doing so?

    'Cause like, for most people, not killing someone is fairly normal. It's killing them that needs justification usually!

    If you've explained this before in another thread, I apologise :D
     
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  18. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    :superthink:

    That's a good point.

    Perhaps I'll have Sadae or somebody else nasty ask him why he doesn't just kill her, and then he can do the Tommy Lee Jones face (above) at them.

    :-D Now I just need somebody to kick me in the ass so I write it.
     
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  19. MelFyre
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    MelFyre Member

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    I'm just wondering if you can't play this whole comvo out in scene anyway which would be awesome. Say Sadae and some other hotline employee ( who knows what's up ) ( or whoever you want ) have a 'running joke' thing going with this throughout the book.

    This can even play into allowing the reader to learn / understand Jack better if they go through this whole conversation of 'why not?' 'just because that's rude or whatever' in your work.
     
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  20. Imaginarily
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    Imaginarily Disparu en Mer Contributor

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    Yeah, I was thinking something along those lines. It'd be a great way to show and not tell. :p
     
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