1. samueg
    Offline

    samueg New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2009
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1

    Will this ever work?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by samueg, Jul 11, 2009.

    Does this sound like a good story? This is the synopsis. It is about genetically altered humans. Please give me lots of ideas I need lots of help.
    :confused: Also, don't copy ;)
    It's alittle long but bear with me. Is there anything I should add to make it better? Should I scrap the whole idea? Has it been done before?


    Synopsis: Changed
    Before: All superhumans were kept in a lab where they were genetically altered and made into perfect soldiers. They were perfect and accepting of their fate for a little while but soon they grew personalities and feelings and they revolted. They escaped the lab in 2016 and the lab was shut down. They then lived in hiding for four years.

    During: In 2020 a nosy newspaper finds photos and reports of ‘super’ humans. They investigate further and info out about the whole government conspiracy. The story gets out and the government ‘takes control’. They order that all superhumans be captured. Morgan and Saphire hear of this and quickly escape Australia, where the WUL come down hard on superhumans. Michelle, a generation B special agent, is set the task of tracking down Morgan and Saphire, both very dangerous superhumans. The twins find themselves in Singapore, the only country the WUL isn’t certified to kill them in but the safety is short-lived when Michelle provokes Morgan and Morgan exposes herself while adrenalin induced.

    They escape and get a ticket for the first place they can get to, Las Vegas. They meet Aka who pretends to be a friendly superhuman. They think that something is off about her and their suspicion is confirmed when she leads them into a trap. They find out that she is Michelle’s apprentice. They are ambushed by Michelle and her team and Skye is shot and killed by two unknown men. Saphire goes in a rage of adrenalin and chases after them. She finds Zen and Chase, thinking that they’re the killers. She knocks them out and with Morgan’s help takes them out into the Nevada desert. Saphire tells Morgan to kill them but Morgan refuses. Morgan interrogates them and realizes that they’re superhumans as well.

    Saphire is still not happy about them and refuses to talk to them. Even though they insist they were tied up and couldn’t have killed Skye. Morgan starts spending time with Zen and they fall in love. Meanwhile, the WUL is coming down hard on superhumans. There are lots of searchers coming into Las Vegas and the four SH’s decide it is time to go before it’s too late. They get to the airport but Michelle attacks them and there is alot of media coverage. They find that they’re stuck in Las Vega and that the only way out is outwards by driving. They’re all set up to go until Michelle and her team attacks them. Morgan and Saphire +co realize that Michelle is actually a superhuman as well and that there’s a different ‘breed’ of superhuman that the government t is using as special agents. Morgan gets shot whilst fighting and she can’t fight anymore. As Saphire and co are trying to retreat, Michelle tackles Morgan and tells her that she’ll leave her alone if they don’t tell anyone about her leaving the WUL. Michelle escapes, leaving Aka and her team behind.
     
  2. Cogito
    Offline

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    35,935
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's no point to asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.
     
  3. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    ditto that!
     

Share This Page