1. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Winner, JJ_Maxx! Short Story Contest (128) Theme: Barely Legal

    Discussion in 'Bi-Weekly Short Story Contest Archives' started by Lemex, Mar 3, 2013.

    Talk about winning by a landslide JJ! Well done! As soon as you PM me your choice you the next contest theme we can get rocking and rolling - Lemex

    JJ_Maxx
    Jason and Stephenie Write a Story [450 Words]

    I stared at the blank screen. The small black cursor blinked in perfect timing. I sang a Tom Petty song in my head to the beat of the blinking cursor. I was about to grab a couple pens for a drum solo when my wife walked in.

    “Still no luck?” she said, massaging my neck.

    “No,” I sighed. “I got nothing.”

    “Well, what’s the theme?”

    “Barely legal.”

    “Barely legal? Sounds like a porno.” I laughed and looked up at her. She kissed my forehead. “I’m sure you’ll think of something. You always do.”

    “Maybe. I don’t know.”

    “You’ve entered the last two contests,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with skipping one.”

    “I know. I’m just having a difficult time deciding on what to write about.” I said, spinning around in my chair. She sat on my lap.

    “What about me?”

    “What about you?”

    “Well,” she said running her fingers through my hair, “you could write about me!”

    “Baby, you’re twenty-two, you’re a little past being ‘barely legal’.”

    “Hey!” she said, playfully punching my shoulder.

    “Okay, okay,” I said, “but you’re just a character and a good story needs a plot.”

    “Hmmm…” she said, deep in thought. “I got it! You could write about this!”

    “This?”

    She giggled and grabbed my hands. “Yes! Exactly.”

    “Exactly what?”

    “Call it ‘Jason and Stephenie Write a Story’!” I thought about this and looked back at her. She was beside herself with excitement. She was adorable.

    “You’re still missing something,” I said. “You and I writing a story is not a plot, it’s a sequence of events. There needs to be motive. There needs to be a ‘why’. Besides, you and I writing a story doesn’t fit the theme. It would be disqualified.”

    “Really?” she said, furrowing her brow. “They would disqualify you?”

    “Well, yeah, they have rules. You have to submit the story before the deadline, follow the theme and keep it within a certain amount of words.”

    “So let me get this straight,” she said, saying the words slowly. “If you entered a story that has nothing to do with the theme, it would be against the rules?”

    “Yes.”

    “So, it would be kind of like an illegal entry?”

    I could see where this was going. I slowly nodded my head. “Kind of, yeah,” I said. “But you can’t make a story ‘barely’ fit the theme.”

    “Okay, well what’s the minimum word count?”

    “Five hundred, with a ten percent leniency.”

    She did the math silently for a moment. “So, if your story was exactly four hundred and fifty words, wouldn’t it be a barely legal entry?”

    I smiled and pulled her close to me, kissing her on the lips. “Yes, yes it would.”
     
  2. Shannonpeel
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    Shannonpeel Member

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    Wow! talk about a supportive wife. Your marriage makes me jealous! A great idea, good story, and well written! Pretty much like everything I've read here that you've written.
     
  3. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Thank you all! This was a fun write!

    Although I must admit, re-reading this two weeks later I see a lot that needs to be edited. Yikes...

    *WHOOOSH*

    ...TO THE WORKSHOP!

    ~ J. J.
     
  4. Shannonpeel
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    Shannonpeel Member

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    I always wait a month or longer before going back over my work and editing. When I do I am surprised at how many issues there are. Sometimes I can't even remember what I was trying to say.
     
  5. Khaelmin
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    Khaelmin Active Member

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    Well done, JJ! The way you used the theme was very clever.
     
  6. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    I loved your twist on the theme. Good work!
     
  7. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    It's actually a really impressive short story with a huge heart. I really like that. :)

    This one deserved to win.
     
  8. Eric242
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    Eric242 Member

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    Hahaha! That's fantastic. Nice story. Adorable and clever.
     
  9. thedarkknight
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    thedarkknight Member

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    Show of hands. How many people put his story into a work document to verify that it was exactly 450 words? :)

    Nice job. Loved the creativity.
     
  10. creative_nothings
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    creative_nothings Member

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    Haha, I did! Great little story JJ, keep it up! :D
     
  11. Khaelmin
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    Khaelmin Active Member

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    Of course I did. Who could resist?
     
  12. JJ_Maxx
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    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Ha! I wrote the bulk of it, and it was originally like 478 words! So much cutting! I had to cut Cogitos cameo, unfortunately. Maybe you can see it in the Collectors Edition. ;)

    ~ J. J.
     
  13. Pauly Pen Feathers
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    Pauly Pen Feathers Member

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    LOL; I have to admit I did, too.

    Definitely different, JJ, and very good. Congrats.
     

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