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  1. Gannon
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    Gannon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Winner yellowm&M Short Story Contest 38: Immortality

    Discussion in 'Bi-Weekly Short Story Contest Archives' started by Gannon, Feb 20, 2009.

    yellowm&M - Guardian

    When I was five, I used to spend almost all of my summer playing in my front yard. Our street was a safe, quiet one, so my mother saw no harm in letting me play out there as long as she could see me from our kitchen window. I didn’t care; so that’s what I did nearly every day. I was a very adventurous and curious child; a dangerous combination for a five year old. So one day I decided to climb the tree in my front yard. A very stupid thing to do for sure, but I didn’t think of that. When I was about five and a half feet up the tree, I lost my footing and fell. I didn’t even have a chance to scream before someone caught me. Looking up, I saw the face of a man I had never before seen in my neighborhood. He was an old man wearing a light gray trench coat, with a brown bowler hat pulled low over his eyes which were bright blue, and twinkling. He smiled gently before setting me down. Then he turned around and started walking away. However, when he had only gone a few feet he turned back to me, smiled, touched his hat, and nodded to me.

    From then on, I saw him nearly every day; he walked by my house when I played outside, he read the paper while I waited for the bus, he browsed the isles while we grocery shopped. And every time I saw him he would look up, nod, and smile. Anyone looking at the situation logically would have been scared out of their wits, and would have called the police long ago. But I didn’t look at this logically; I couldn’t look at it logically. Everything about the situation was the very definition of illogical. Even thought this man was following me, and I knew absolutely nothing about him, I just knew he meant me no harm. I had a strange, but very strong feeling that he was there to protect me.

    As the years passed by, I began to view him as a friend, albeit a strange, distant one, but a friend nonetheless. A constant force in my life that was always there whenever I needed him most, for better or for worse. At my high school graduation, he stood in the crowd and clapped for me. On my very first day of college, he led me to my classes on time when I got lost. When I was 19, and my boyfriend of two, almost three years broke up with me, he sat with me outside in the pouring rain, and held me while I cried. And when I was done, he made sure I got back to my dorm safely.

    Five years later he came to my wedding, and stood in the back. And when it came time for the guests to congratulate us, he was up there to hug me, his eyes bright and dancing, and the biggest smile I had ever seen on his lips. When my husband and I went searching for our first house I saw him standing across the street from the house we bought. One year later my mother died and he showed up at my house, his eyes grave. Again, he hugged me while I cried. I told my husband that he was an old friend of mother’s and when he left, my husband took his place, comforting me just as well while I cried in his arms. Then, three years ago, when my daughter was born, he came to the hospital, balloon in hand, and a huge smile on his face.

    All these moments fill my mind as a pair of hands yank me backwards, away from walking in front of a speeding car that surely would have killed me. I fall backwards onto the sidewalk and instantly my husband’s strong hands are helping me up, my daughter’s hands cling to my leg, and my hands go gently to my belly and the baby growing there. My husband kisses me and reassures our daughter, while holding me. But I, I look towards the shadows and an old man hidden there.

    He’s wearing a light gray trench coat, and a brown bowler hat pulled low over his eyes. Sensing my gaze, he pushes his hat up and smiles, his blue eyes twinkling. Touching his hat softly, he nods at me, then turns around and walks away. I watch him walk away, knowing he will be back at some grocery store, or park bench. After all, never changing, never aging, he is my immortal guardian.
     
  2. marina
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    marina Contributing Member Contributor

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    Wow, that is a really cool story, yellowM&M. I loved it. Congrats.
     
  3. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thank you very much :)
     
  4. fantasywriter
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    fantasywriter Contributing Member

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    Congratulaions, Yellow! Awesome job. *dances*
     
  5. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    *dances with fantasy*
    Thanks :)
     
  6. Jack
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    Jack Contributing Member

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    Yay! Yellow, I knew you can do it!

    Awesome! That was indeed a lovely peice of work from you :)

    Great Work!

    *Applauds* :D
     
  7. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thank you so much :D
    This has put me in a really good mood :D
     
  8. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    That was AMAZING yellow. I LOVED it.
     
  9. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thank you so much :D
    I've been saying that alot...lol
     
  10. ThadOcho
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    ThadOcho Member

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    Congratulations, m&M! You were a good opponent in the contest. Best of luck to ya',

    ThadOcho
     
  11. DownUnder
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    DownUnder Contributing Member

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    Great piece of writing, good job :).
     
  12. Zcreative
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    Zcreative Contributing Member

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    Wow I love that story. A+++ :D *Gives yellow a congratulation cookie*
     
  13. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    A cookie?!?! *grabs cookie and eats it*
    yummy :D
    and an A+++?! YAY!!!
    Lol thanks so much!!!
    :)
     
  14. Zcreative
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    Zcreative Contributing Member

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    YW it was a story well done!
     
  15. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    :) :)
     
  16. Phantasmal Reality
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    Phantasmal Reality Contributing Member

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    Very nice story. I think we all have "guardians" in our life like that, even if they aren't immortal. :) Good job capturing that feeling of 'you've been there all along'. =)
     
  17. inkslinger
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    inkslinger Contributing Member

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    Congrats Yellow! You did a really good job.... I don't know you, but I'm proud of you! :D
     
  18. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't know you either but I'm happy that your proud of me :)
    And Phantasmal Reality-:D thanks

    Thank you all :) all your comments mean alot to me
     
  19. Mcarpenter
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    Mcarpenter Contributing Member

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    *sniff, sniff* This is such a beautiful story! I almost cried. I feel so full of emotion right now. I know I'm sappy, but this is a great story! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT JOB!
    :D
    I love it!
     
  20. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    Not sappy at all
    that is an amazing compliment!!!
    *sniff snifff*
     
  21. zingsho
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    zingsho Member

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    i really like it! :D congrats!
     
  22. Manutebecker
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    Manutebecker Member

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    WOW... 5/5, extremely well done and touching. You are talented and could go far one day!
     
  23. yellowm&M
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    yellowm&M Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thank you so much :D
     
  24. Father Thomas
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    Father Thomas New Member

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    A good Read.

    Ive never posted a reply before but this one deserves it.
    I'm not a pro writer but I know what I like. Congrats.
     
  25. thefreshman
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    thefreshman New Member

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    That was a great short story, truly amazing. Keep up the good work.
     

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