That is frowned upon in most societies. Easier to show em a briefcase full of cash, it seems to be the instant 'love' creator. Also the woman has no problem how badly she is treated by the man, even if all he intends for her is to be his torture toy for the duration of the relation. Ah, the power to buy love and affection, according to modern fiction anyways.
On the flip side for the gentleman please remember that no matter how good she looks, or how sexy she is, there's a bloke somewhere who is fed up with her shit
When I flirt with my boyfriend, I go out of my way to act cute. That's what he likes, and that's the way he feels flirted with the most. While I'm generally the average amount of cute for a girl my age, I turn it up a few notches for him because that's how he perceives interest, so I tailor my flirtation to him. I would guess that most people, consciously or otherwise, make these types of adjustments. It does no good to be flirty in one particular way if the target of said flirtation won't be receptive.
A person can say a hell of a lot more about a subject when they have a personal interest or experience of said subject. Never underestimate that. For example, a few years ago...
^Most definitely. I've given it some thought; it's a project right now sitting on the metaphorical back-burner. One problem is that it requires a bit of hindsight. The second problem is that I'm not sure how to go about it. Autobiography? Series of short-stories? One book, or several? Deciding what sort of approach to take is proving difficult.
I would do one book. Not an autobiography, but create a character who struggles with that. Use your experiences to create scenes for the character. When you mentioned it I immediately thought of an older male teen or young adult. Maybe they are a little on the geeky side, but secretly have some crazy talent that later on manifests itself and turns them from zero to hero. It could even take a fantasy twist if you want. I often use characteristics or personal qualities from people I know and give them to my characters. For example I have social anxiety and often hide from social situations by reading A LOT. My main character also does this. Or another example is that there is a girl I work with whom I find irritating as she is very obnoxious and loud so when my secondary character whom had these qualities is faced with a situation I think about how my coworker would respond. What she would say, how she would say it, her body language. I do not base my characters entirely off someone I know, just aspects of them. I find using qualities of those around me really help make my characters human.
A women who flirts start doing stupid things. She smiles at you, laughes from your the most miserable and serious jokes, touches you "by chance" (I mean tapping on the shoulder and other friendly gestures). When I was a schoolgirl, I could say eternally "hello" to my first crash (I believe it was around 10 times a day). Why? Because I eagerly wanted to speak with him, but have no idea what topic should I choose. So I expected that he would start the conversation first. Check here the flirting guide for dummies (with videos after the article ). I'm not kidding, this is a really useful article.
holy shit every woman in our team is in love with me and so if our fundraising officer, and our estate manager ... or may be that guide is a tad over simplified
Oh no, don't be in denial. The simplest answer is in fact that you are one glorious stud muffin, driving the women wild with lust & making them all half in love with you on sight They are clearly all flirting with you, and you need to step up and take responsibility for tormenting us poor females with your sheer irresistibility〜
If she's from a matriarchy that's a full-on matriarchy this might be easier than you may think? After all, if women usually have power they'd be more direct, and less like how women in our world usually flirt. (In our world: covertly, appearing more desirable and encouraging other people to flirt with us more than out-right asking the guys out.) I guess in our world women tend to be more subtle, and guys are subtle too generally but are still often expected to make the move. So you could just flip that. And from my experience flirting is a lot like chatting with a friend, plus tiny bits of extra interest. But I guess I've generally dated nerdy/geeky types, and usually we've been friends first, never the 'dating to get to know someone' way. So just being extra excited about the things your crush is into (with us nerdy/geeky types we usually have the same interests anyway, so it's a good launching point), looking for opportunities for you to hang out, also the jokes you usually make in conversation could be taken in a flirty context but also could be taken in a safe context if they aren't interested. Stuff like that. You mention your character being more upper class. Body language could still be there - even if it's just lingering eye contact or accidentally brushing against them as you pass them something. Also being more friendly than might be expected could be seen as flirty. If she cracks a joke or two about the cadaver she's cutting up, for example. And if you could get flirty insinuations into the joking too that could work? Her simply asking him out could work, but as you say if you want a slower build maybe she'd try to be friends first? Maybe she wouldn't ask him out immediately as she wants to get to know him first? Just some ideas. And I've noticed a lot of others describe flirting as a lot of different things so I thought I'd share a perspective that is a lot more like flirting with people you are already friends with. I have been interested in what guys are talking about, but I've also been able to shut down it being about them so they don't think I'm flirting. But again, I run in geeky/nerdy circles, so having avid conversations about stuff you're interested in is really common, even with people you would not consider friends or people you like at all. I feel like the conversation takes a different bend, and has a different feel when it's more about the topic or more about the person you're talking to. Like the kinds of questions you asked. For one thing, I feel like you're more likely to be bluntly honest about your own feelings on a topic when it's the topic you're interested in, not the person, especially if it goes against what the person you're talking to thinks. So like if your friend says 'The eleventh doctor was clearly the best.' Non-flirty: 'No way, nine was so much better cos of x, y, z.' Flirty: 'He's pretty great isn't he! I think I prefer nine but by all means, convince me otherwise!' I'm not great at dialogue so that's still coming off a little weird. But I hope it shows what I mean! I would probably be able to keep being friends with both of these, but it's clear I'm more interested in making the person themselves feel good with the second one. I would still expect to get the same info (why they think eleven is better) with both scenarios.
Has anybody discussed the method of flirting where a woman actually treats the guy worse than usual? Sometimes a strong, independent woman who comes from a more domineering culture won't go doe-eyed and giggly. Instead, she will (whether consciously or not) present an even stronger, more austere facade to the man she is interested in. This might come from her being confronted/afraid of her feelings or having that misconception that she's 'not allowed to lower herself' to engage in flirtatious behaviour. If she is from a matriarchal, she probably hasn't seen many women turn to mush around men. So this would inform the way she indicates interest in a man. Some ways she might do this: Raise her eyebrows (or other doubtful gesture) and turn away when he gives her advice/suggestions (I know, opposite to the top two points! We women can be strange creatuers!) - this could be a complex of being attracted to him, and automatically preventing herself from being 'in his thrall' as a self-protective measure. Mock him lightly - not in a playful, giggly way. This kind of woman often flirts without any giggling, but rather through stoic avoidance and/or slight derision. Alternatively, a strong kind of woman from a matriarchal society might show her vulnerability and interest in a very practical way, rather than a giggling girly way: Ask him for advice more often and/or listen to his advice or ideas over other peoples', even if others' ideas are clearly worthwhile Quote him when discussing things with other characters Wonder internally about his opinion on things she is thinking about So instead of trying to describe her directly flirting, consider the way her demeanor might change around him in subtle but poignant ways.
Haha! My way of flirting is totally more like your 'non-flirty' example ... I would go out of my way to disagree strongly with anything the guy I liked would say, and laugh at him for thinking what he thought. Maybe that's not how normal people flirt?! Apparently it worked for him, though... we're married, now.
I know many women, who used the usually very effective technique of laughing at a man's joke. I've done the play with my hair thing, but mainly, I take more of the honest and all-in approach of telling people I like/love them and how I want to have loads of children and enjoy looking at wedding dresses in my spare time. It's a very, very ineffective technique so far. So it depends on your character
Congrats! I dare say how people flirt and get along varies as much as the people themselves and that whatever works for the people involved is totally valid I guess it ultimately comes down to understanding how you both communicate and showing you like them in whatever way makes sense to both of you. I'm pretty no-nonsense and harsh on people I'm talking to (unless they seem like they can't handle it then I'll be nicer) and don't hold back from arguing much. So me being a little less harsh but not in a fake way is I guess how I usually show I think someone is pretty great. But it really depends on whoever I'm talking to, what one person takes as 'harsh' someone else takes as 'fair' and all that...
Just try with some eye contact before. If you see she is interested just approach her for some chit chat. Choose a random subject such as the weather to start the conversation. You will notice fast if she is into more or not. Good luck. And please, do not kidnap anyone .
Best flirting tool? Ask questions. Listen to the answers. Respond to the answers so he'll know you have actually listened to what he said. Don't fake this. If you are truly interested in him, you'll want to know the answers to questions about his life, his attitudes, his opinions, his situation, anyway. Be the person he remembers and wants to see again, because you show a real interest in 'him.' A good listener is something everybody can learn to be. The technique works wonders in all situations, really ...not just flirting-with-men ones. With any luck, the interest will be reciprocated.
how I flirt with my fiance: "come over here, sexy, and let me objectify you with my eyes" -sucks teeth- -licks lips- -winks- never fails. he always leaves the room.
something that actually happened: guy i liked has headphones in me: what music do you like? him: a variety me: oh. what are you listening to now? him: nothing me: -giggles- well then why do you have headphones on? him: -seriously- so people wont talk to me me: ......sorry -walks away embarrassed- #flirting
Thake to all the women who have responded. I have learned a lot. Looking back, what I learned most was, I was a blind, deaf, dope! Maybe being a blind, deaf, dope is part of my appeal. I can only hope. We can call that, "Dope Hope".
I flirt with everyone as a defense mechanism because I'm awkward in social situations. Mostly I just make people laugh. My only relationship I had because I borrowed something I read in a book. I asked the guy if I could read his palm and he said yes. When he gave me his hand, I linked our fingers and said, "I don't know how to read palms, I just wanted to hold your hand." Now, my flirting is easier with people I don't want to be with (in any sense), but when it comes to even just talking to people I find attractive, I go full stupid and ask really awkward questions like, "what time do you like to sleep?"
