wonky dictionary

Puffin: inhale

 

Belligerent: One of Tolkien's tree creatures on the warpath.

 

Cabbage: An era when everyone traveled by taxi.

 

Uranium: You did some exercise? I'm lost for words.

 

Calculator - One says this when a difficult math problem is put off till later.

 

Bellicose - Slang or abbreviaton for "You look as beautiful as Glenn Close."

 

Surprise - Gift given to someone who has just been knighted.

 

Coffee: Adjective describing someone with respiratory problems. "I took my kid to the doctor because he was all coffee."

 

Free: Freak misspelled and without the k

 

Barbarism: Ideology pertaining exclusively to the acts of male hair stylists.

 

Hot dog - Canine on a tin roof

 

Compass: An invitation for someone behind you to move ahead of you.

 

Triage: what you can measure by counting rings.

 

Psychopath: Lane of traffic to be used predominantly by bicycles.

 

Stalemate: day old meat at a cannibal restaurant

 

copulate: what you say when the police are late to the crime scene
wrinkle: prematurely stop peeing
stinking: Julius Caesar's end

 

Reminds me of this gem from Arrested Development:

 

syrup: the gentleman who lives upstairs
doctor: Thor maintaining boats
retard: to finish dessert but want more

 

Graffiti - unwashed leg ends.

 

average: it's impolite to ask

 

Poetic - Edgar Allen Poe malady

Marmalade - School marm's beverage ( okay that's really lame )

 

spinach: your stomach in a roller coaster
roller coaster: a cruise ship (not Cruise's hip)
finish: maybe the end

 

migraine: what you say when the corn is yours

 

bumbling: hidden jewellery

 

Pickle: Taking a picture of a violent action