The target, only known by the string of numerals tattooed across his forehead was to be eliminated by a single exploding bolt from the assassin's quiver, 'like an (exploding) orange bumpkin, ha ha ha' laughed the attractive assassin.
You're a natural... The Lords of Misrule have seized the forum at last. Me? I couldn't write a bad opening line to save my life. And I DO try...
Chapter 1: Day at the Mall Isabella sat on the floor, her long legs crossed in a cross-legged sitting position, dressed in a tube top that revealed her slim, tanned arms while she was writing on her diary about her day at the mall where she had hung out with Chase, a blond, muscular, tanned football player with sky-blue eyes and white teeth, and her best friend, Jade-Jewel, who was slightly taller than Isabella with very long, tanned legs, but her hair wasn't of the same striking auburn shade as was Isabella's, which was her real haircolor. Jade-Jewel had mouse-brown root-regrowth, and she was always trying to hit on Chase, but Chase was only interested in Isabella even though Isabella wasn't as pretty as Jade-Jewel with her button-like nose and big, mysterious eyes.
That sounds like something I would write. How depressing...You're in a bad state when your main POV has conversations with inanimate objects
I agree, although I rate @matwoolf a very close second ("...from each white asparagus tip of skin..." shudder). And I still have hopes for The Talking Toaster.
Nope, yours is bad too. I think I was just too stunned at the start of this thread to give feedback, till Selbbin swooped in with his bad good one ...the midget pooping ...couldn't get past that till Matwoolf arrived ...but you're right, KaTrian wins. Hers is easily the most ...erm ...realistic?
I noticed you didn't offer an entry yourself, @jannert. BTW, The Talking Toaster is the first of a 27-volume series. When do I get my $100,000 advance?
As you will surely find out what happens to our main characters, a bunch of misfit miscreants sharing similar names (first and last) to people you might or might not know in a town (or city) you may or may not have heard of, in the second book; this is the flashback of one of the misfit miscreants, whose name will later be revealed, that explains the back story of the group of misfit miscreants that will soon be on a journey that will include three major conflicts: man vs man, man, vs nature, and, the one we all struggle with as we are all selves, man vs himself.
Once upon a time, not long ago, there lived a fair maiden in an enchanted forest where all of the enchanted animals had become extinct and magic had died and was no more.
Ursula didn't know how the Hell she got in trapped in a historical romance but she did and without a heaving bosom to hold up her florescent muumuu, yet seeing Duke Whatshisface approaching, she couldn't help feeling lucky because the hunk didn't seem to notice. Bumbles the hamster, alias Agent Dreker, dragged the match out of his coconut cabana in his wire cage and struck it, setting fire to the curtains, though he might burn in the escape the mad professor would be stopped!
Actually these are fun. A little squirrely with the punctuation (or lack thereof) but a lot of fun. I especially like the hamster with the match. But I like hamsters anyway, so maybe I'm just your target audience. Squirrely? Hamster? Omigod ...I'm thinking rodent now...