1. J.W.Exeter
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    J.W.Exeter Member

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    Would you hit a woman?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by J.W.Exeter, Sep 19, 2014.

    I guess this question is more for the guys but female opinions are welcome too.

    I have a lot of respect for women and Ive never felt like I wanted to injure a woman in any way.

    Well, sort of. I was thinking about this when I realized I actually did have an occasion where I seriously wanted to slap this girl.
    I was in high school at the time, and I remember walking down the hallway just talking casually with my friends, when all of a sudden one of the "popular" girls (I guess you might call her that. I didn't have too much of this sort of stuff in my school) shoulders me from behind, pushing her way past me at a faster pace.

    Now, this might be because I grew up fairly poor in a third world country (we had to sell our house for a single plane ticket so my father could immigrate to Canada and eventually bring us over ) but it was her air of superiority that really pushed my buttons. If it weren't for my friend, I would have walked up to that girl and slapped her really hard across the face.
    I could never punch or beat a women, but on that day I really wanted to give her a "chapada"

    Anybody have a similar experience? Or maybe you plain just don't care and hit both genders equally hard? (equality :p)
     
  2. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    I know women who consider it patriarchal but, no I don't think I ever could. I was raised to consider it one of the most despicable things a guy can do
     
  3. stevesh
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    stevesh Banned Contributor

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    I've never hit a woman who didn't want me to.
     
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  4. Poziga
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    Poziga Contributing Member Contributor

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    No. Unless she hit me first. But even in this case, I would hit her only if she would ignore my multiple warnings and would continue to hit me. I think in this case she deserves a gentle, but decisive Archie-slap.



    But this slap is too strong for women. Still, an awesome scene. :p
     
  5. Wyr
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    Wyr Active Member

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    I'm not really into physical altercations (with the exception of when it's my sister, we got into some pretty knock-down, drag-out brawls when we were younger) and would usually rather use my words when in an argument. The one notable exception I can think of is when I was in high school. After I turned a guy down when he asked me out, he decided to call me a whore. At the time I was still a virgin and the outright injustice of the slur just made me snap and I knocked him head-over-heels back over a desk. I don't know what would have happened if there hadn't been a teacher close at hand, but as it was he just called me a few more names and slunk off with his wounded pride. If he had decided to get back up and take a swing at me, I wouldn't have faulted him for "hitting a woman" since I was the one who got physical first, but I definitely would have fought back. That being said, I am neither petite nor slight of build and I was in pretty good physical condition at the time and I think I would have stood a decent chance of at least holding my ground had it devolved into a real fight.

    Basically I think if someone strikes first, the other party has a right to defend themselves, regardless of their respective genders. That being said, it is not okay for someone to beat the stuffing out of their opponent when they are three times their size, no matter who got physical first and, again, regardless of gender.
     
  6. Poziga
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    Poziga Contributing Member Contributor

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    I find this a respect-worthy argument. :)
    Still, I think it happens many times that after being hit by a woman, a man doesn't hit her back, because it is socially unacceptable/seen as simply wrong. In society a man is seen weak, if he hits a woman. That is my view, and I may be wrong of course. If in any way have I been offensive to anyone, I apologise.
     
  7. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I've never been hit or slapped by a guy outside training, but I'm not so deluded I'd allow myself to act like an asshole just because it's unlikely they'll ever hit me (it's utterly condemned in our culture). Some girls do this, and it's so annoying I've resisted the urge to walk up to them myself to slap their drunk face 'cause their boyfriends sure as hell can't do it.

    Do you think guys ever find it awkward to spar with girls?
     
  8. J.W.Exeter
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    J.W.Exeter Member

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    It's usually really frowned upon within traditional male circles to lay hands on a woman in any way she doesn't approve of. Usually this means receiving however many slaps/hits without reacting physically.

    I agree with this view to a point, but I also grew up being picked on by my older sister, so I'm not afraid to defend myself if I'm being straight-up physically aggravated.

    I also don't think stevesh was referring to training or sparring :p
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2014
  9. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    You mean stevesh? ;)

    Whether or not he referred to it, I thought I'd ask 'cause he's pretty combat savvy.
     
  10. Lewdog
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    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    I've hit on more women than I can count.
     
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  11. Mike Hill
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    Mike Hill Natural born citizen of republic of Finland.

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    I try to turn the other cheek. For sure I'm not going to start nothing.
    I don't see any difference in hitting woman or hitting a man. It's about the size/strength/skill situation not about gender.
    Age matters though.
     
  12. shadowwalker
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    shadowwalker Contributing Member Contributor

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    I wouldn't hit anyone based on wounded pride. But if someone physically attacks me, yeah, I hit back. I've done it with men and women.
     
  13. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree with Wyr. :)

    As a woman, I don't think it's right for a man to beat a woman, or to slap her because she isn't listening to him or doing as he says (as in, be submissive or get hit). But if a woman instigates a confrontation and slaps or punches or kicks a man, it's completely within his right to hit her back. I don't think he should close his fist and wail on her until she's unconscious.. But I hate that women think they can beat up on men and not receive anything in return. It actually makes me feel bad for the man... lol

    I have only ever slapped a man once.. And it's because he cheated on me.. So he deserved it.. lol Okay, he probably didn't deserve it, but whatever. :p
     
  14. stevesh
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    stevesh Banned Contributor

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    No, I was referring to the fact that there are women (men, too, of course) who derive sexual pleasure from being spanked, usually during some sort of fantasy 'scene'. I have, during a long and mostly misspent life, had the great pleasure of knowing (in every sense of the word) a couple of such women, and a good time was had by all.

    That was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the thread title, since I've never struck a woman otherwise. I wouldn't hit a woman just for hitting me, unless she struck me repeatedly. Abusively angry women don't seem to realize that they generally aren't a physical match for even the weakest man. I could spar with a woman, but she would have to goad me into it. All that 'gentleman' upbringing still packs some power.
     
  15. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    @stevesh
    Yeah, I thought you meant sexual too.
    Was kinda surprised katrian didn't go right there too :p

    On topic:
    I was raised to believe hitting a woman is wrong so I never did. Hell, I never even hit a guy.
    But if a woman came up to me and started smacking me with no sign of stopping, and it was actually hurting or getting kinda scary, I'd hit her back once I got out of frozen-headlight-deer mode.
    If they got equal rights, they can equally get beaten up if they ask for it.
     
  16. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    I've never found myself in the position to have to make such a choice. When I was at university, a guy who I dated for a short while had a gal-pal who I'm pretty sure was bipolar. I mean that in the real sense, not the make fun of it sense. Twice I saw her physically go off on him from out of the blue nowhere. He didn't hit her but only fended off her attack. I was stunned. I don't know what I would have done in his place. Both times when I later asked him what that was all about, he told me something to the tune of she's going through some stuff.
     
  17. stevesh
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    stevesh Banned Contributor

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    I do. I would never let any relationship, romantic or otherwise, degrade into violence, and don't understand people who stand for that sort of drama. There are roughly 3.5 billion women in the world (and men, too). There's at least one other one who he would like at least as much as he does the crazy chick and who won't physically attack him due to her treatable mental illness. Such people all too often use their 'bipolarness' as an excuse for treating others badly.
     
  18. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I've never hit a woman outside of a martial arts/combat sports gym, and even then never full force. Then again, I don't hit noticeably smaller, weaker, or less skilled men full force either; with such guys, I only hit a bit harder if they behave like dicks (e.g. if they ask to take it light before the round and then sucker-punch me full force after a few light exchanges), and even then it's mostly just one or two hits to suggest it's best not to go there because of e.g. a notable size or skill difference to their disadvantage.

    I've never done that with women because, frankly, I've never sparred with one who's behaved like that; the girls and women I've trained with have come off like they've just wanted to improve their technique and learn instead of "winning" a sparring round. If I did encounter a woman my size who did something idiotic like that... I still doubt it. Yeah, it's a double standard, but I think it's one that, if treated right, can have its place.

    I think I'd only ever hit a woman (with a fist) if that was the only way to stop her from killing/seriously injuring (e.g. stabbing or shooting) me or my loved ones. But that would have to be a pretty extraordinary situation where I couldn't rely on grappling or evasion etc.
    If it's a girl or woman attacking me, I'd rather eat a punch or a few than throw one (I know from experience I don't have a glass jaw if not quite granite either). With guys, I'm not so merciful because the chances of that punch seriously hurting me is so much higher, and in a self-defense situation, I have no time to gauge his strength and skill level before the whole fight is over.

    In any case, the grappling arts, like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and submission wrestling, can come in handy if you encounter violent females: if a woman attacked me, even with punches and kicks, I could most likely immobilize her and at worst she'd get a few bruises if she fought back really hard, and I had to e.g. squeeze her arm harder so she couldn't break my grip and take a swing at me (or mine).
    A significant upper body strength, size, and skill advantage really helps in such situations. I have no scientific data to back any of this, only my own observations of sparring with several girls and women over the years of martial arts and combat sports training.

    Then again, my manhood won't suffer even if I skedaddle, so my preferred option would be trying to de-escalate the situation verbally, and cheesing it if that doesn't work. In the vast majority of cases it would just be unnecessary to punch or even slap a woman if you know how to grapple even a bit.
    In fact, I see grappling as a necessary skill for everybody, just with different emphasis: for men, it would be to defend themselves against other men, avoiding being taken down, and learning how to immobilize a person without seriously hurting them. For women, they'd learn the same things, but there would be more focus on defending against a stronger opponent, how to fight off her back and get up quickly to escape (e.g. a rape attempt) etc.


    She can be a bit starry-eyed about that sort of stuff 'cause she never really engages random guys in conversations about their sex lives. :p
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2014
  19. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    My mind didn't even go there. Sometimes I'm so innocent. :angle: Although based on @A.M.P. 's comment I'm starting to wonder whether I've developed a reputation of outspokenness when it comes to certain matters... But @Wreybies still beats me in that department! :D

    Anyway, I feel a tad awkward when I'm sparring with a guy, which is pretty much every time I spar in boxing or BJJ, like, I'm almost embarrassed they have to shelf their gentleman side and treat me as yet another practicioner first, a woman second. It probably doesn't help that I'm so light-boned you can blow into my direction and I'll fall over.

    Personally I think that man or woman, if you act like an ass, prepare to bear the consequences.
     
  20. Okon
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    Okon Contributing Member Contributor

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    I was just going to say I'd never hit a woman, but you really have to define 'hit.'

    If a woman violently slapped me, I wouldn't hit her back, (same if a man slapped me) because it escalates a combat situation. I would only hold up my hands to defend. There will be exceptions, such as if you are trying to defend someone else or if you feel your life is actually in danger, but those are very unlikely.

    Now, whether a woman is my girlfriend or not, I usually begin to think of her as a 'bro' if I know her well enough. In those cases, I have playfully/flirtatiously hit lots of women, with a bit less force than with men. Never in the face for either gender, though (exception: the surprise nose-poke that sometimes becomes an unintentional eye-poke:unsure:.)
     
  21. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I don't remember how or why now, but I asked my ex if I could slap him and he said yes. This wasn't a "kinky sex scene" thing - we'd already broken up and were chatting like normal friends lol ("normal"... well, make of it what you will haha)

    Anyway, he said yes, so I slapped his face a few times. More than once cus I didn't think the first slap was hard enough. I'm so tiny I don't honestly believe it even hurt him. Was fun though.

    Anyway I had this dilemma once when I was writing, because my female character was being such a bitch I just really wanted my male MC to slap her round the face. I didn't write it in the end cus I didn't want my MC to be hated after that.

    I think a man has every right to restrain the woman if she was attacking him - I don't see that he needs to hit her though. A man is physically so much stronger that it wouldn't be hard at all to simply disarm or immobilise her.

    And I think it's GOOD that it's so socially ingrained in men that they shouldn't hit a woman that most men would never think of doing it, even if a woman blew up on him. It's a good thing. Now we just have to ingrain in women that it's also never okay for them to blow up on the men and/or hit them.

    I'm all for equal rights, of course, but I think courtesy mustn't be forgotten. That's when a man, or a woman, doesn't have to do something, but does it anyway because it's sweet. Like if a man gives me his jacket - that's just plain cute, and kind. I don't see it as my "right", but I do see it as a mark of a good, kind man. I've come to realise chivalry is what really, really melts my heart.
     
  22. elynne
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    elynne Active Member

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    I've never hit anybody in anger, regardless of gender. anybody hitting anybody in anger, or using violence to control another person's actions, regardless of gender, is reprehensible.
     
  23. shadowwalker
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    shadowwalker Contributing Member Contributor

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    Somebody hits me, it makes me angry, and I'm going to do what's necessary to control them. I don't consider myself reprehensible for refusing to be a punching bag.
     
  24. elynne
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    elynne Active Member

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    for one, I specifically didn't say "self-defense is reprehensible." for two, "hitting back" is usually the least effective thing you can do when faced with somebody attempting to do violence to you, as most self-defense/martial arts instructors will tell you.
     
  25. Keitsumah
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    Keitsumah The Dream-Walker Contributor

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    I've been in karate before, but that was when I was a bit younger. Even now my mentality is perfectly equal if I were to spar with a guy or girl (in fact around my platonic friends we can wrestle and bump into each other and we all know no one's doing anything serious on purpose :p). But sadly, I doubt I could really do much if I was put in an actual violent situation now. I am a notorious weakling and my younger brother tries to exploit it whenever he can... dude. Ur a dutch male at 6 feet tall and getting taller, raised on a dairy and can drag a dead COW around. I'm a lanky female with no muscle to speak of. Anyone think that's fair?
     

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