1. Ohrenberg
    Offline

    Ohrenberg New Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0

    Would you want to know more about this book? Or would you read it?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Ohrenberg, May 25, 2013.

    I thought of this story the other night and have been working on it. I know my grammar and I've always believed it's been my "life's purpose" to write novels, but I've never believed in myself enough to go after it. Please read this limited description and tell me if you would buy/download/read this book if you saw it on the back of the book in a store. My husband tells me it's amazing (I've told him the ending and deep meaning hidden within each chapter), but I want an unbiased view. All CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed. Please know that the twisted ending is, in my opinion, incredibly good and unique. It gives the entire reason and meaning to the entire book up to this point. Thank you for reading.

    The main character wakes up every day in a new place. It's what he's known for as long as he can remember. He has no family, no friends, and no way to keep either one if he were to get some. Some days he wakes up in a real place: The streets of Italy, a creepy alleyway in London, a desolate, snowy town that seems to be too perfect. Sometimes, however, he wakes up in a completely imaginary place that seems to be something that comes straight from the pages of an imaginary book.The main character has no real purpose or reason for being, but after he falls completely in love with a girl he meets one day, he yearns to wake up in a place close to where he left her so he can see her again. He sets his mission everyday to get back to her, knowing that the next day she will not be with him and she will not remember who he is or that she met him. Towards the end of the story the reader finds out the truth: A truth that brings reality and fiction together in a turning twist that will encapsulate the reader and bring a shock to all who read.
     
  2. Garball
    Offline

    Garball Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand. Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,846
    Likes Received:
    1,331
    Location:
    S'port, LA
    As long as it is not one of those straight twists. I can't stand a twist without a bend or curve.;)
     
  3. GingerCoffee
    Offline

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    17,601
    Likes Received:
    5,875
    Location:
    Ralph's side of the island.
    Would you want to know more about this book? Or would you read it?

    Yes, but, it would have to be done right. I might get bored if the story went on and on until the end. So the different days would need something more than 'a new day' to keep me from getting tired and skipping to the end.
     
  4. b3av3r
    Offline

    b3av3r Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2013
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    10
    It seems like an interesting concept but it would need to be stitched together properly. My immediate questions are how/why he is waking up in new places? and what does he do for money/food/shelter/etc.? If you answered these questions adequately throughout the story, along with a good plot, then I think you would have me engaged.
     
  5. Fullmetal Xeno
    Offline

    Fullmetal Xeno Protector of Literature Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,364
    Likes Received:
    141
    Location:
    Kingdom of Austniad
    Needs more explanation. Needs more reason why he fell in love with her. Otherwise it feels empty.
     
  6. Fullmetal Xeno
    Offline

    Fullmetal Xeno Protector of Literature Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,364
    Likes Received:
    141
    Location:
    Kingdom of Austniad
    Needs more explanation. Needs more reason why he fell in love with her. Otherwise it feels empty.
     
  7. Thomas Kitchen
    Offline

    Thomas Kitchen Proofreader in the Making Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    1,258
    Likes Received:
    422
    Location:
    I'm Welsh - and proud!
    It kind of reminds me of The Time Traveller's Wife. It's an interesting premise you've got there. I know this isn't going to be your final blurb, but try to make it grab the reader from the get-go. :)
     
  8. Xatron
    Offline

    Xatron Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2013
    Messages:
    576
    Likes Received:
    6
    That's what I thought when I read it too!!!

    It sounds interesting and I would check it out if the description was something like that.
     
  9. lettuce head
    Offline

    lettuce head Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Ohio
    I think it is a brilliant concept. There are many places you could go with that. You have to do it.
     
  10. blackstar21595
    Offline

    blackstar21595 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
    Messages:
    598
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Brooklyn,NY
    Write it. Concepts don't matter. What matters is the writing. I read a short story about a boy who fishes and I loved it more than a lot more "complex" plots I've read.Reason being because it was well written.
     
  11. mammamaia
    Offline

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,316
    Likes Received:
    1,014
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    ditto that!

    nit-picky me has to also wonder how he'd get food and where would he sleep every night?

    plus, it's totally unrealistic to have him fall 'completely in love' over the course of a single day...

    and, finally, i'd love to see something that can 'encapsulate' a reader! ;)
     
  12. EdFromNY
    Offline

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2010
    Messages:
    4,681
    Likes Received:
    2,533
    Location:
    Queens, NY
    Totally agree with blackstar and maia.

    Sounds to me as if you lack confidence in your idea and are looking to others to validate it. Don't worry about it. Someone once came up with an idea for a story about a poor fisherman who hasn't caught anything for months. His neighbors think he's cursed. He goes out and hooks a big fish, but loses it. Next day, he goes out again. Doesn't sound like much, but few stories have ever caught my imagination more fully. So much so, I quote it below.

    Write it. At the same time, don't be afraid to find things wrong with it. Nothing is perfect the first time around. Developing your writing skills takes time (I'm almost 60 and I'm still learning). Write a lot. Read a lot.

    Best of luck.
     
  13. Mckk
    Offline

    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    4,749
    Likes Received:
    2,534
    The premise definitely sounds interesting and I'd wanna find out more if I saw it in a store, sure. Reminded me of 50 First Dates actually, the idea of the girl not remembering you after one day.

    I see a potential plot flaw/hole though - how did this guy come into existence? And how did he come to be transported to a new place everyday? It's all he's ever known - this means it's been this way for as long as he can remember. Unless he has amnesia conveniently from the age of 16, 17 or so, it means he's been this way since he was born.

    How would a tiny baby survive without a mother, or at least a friend, to feed him and look after him? He would've died long before your story could've taken place. And of course, if a baby is born, then there is a mother (and a father). Has her memory of her son simply been wiped?

    If you have a good explanation for these questions, then it could work, but don't start without the answers to these questions.
     
  14. jazzabel
    Offline

    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,273
    Likes Received:
    1,666
    (double post)
     
  15. jazzabel
    Offline

    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,273
    Likes Received:
    1,666
    It's a surreal concept, and surrealism in a novel can either work amazingly well, like in Murakami's Wind-up Bird Chronicle, or it can fail miserably due to being too abstract, boring, derivative.

    If you are an excellent writer, and know how to draw the reader in with realistic content, so they can fully enjoy the surreal elements, symbolism etc, then it would make for a great book. But based on your description, if I saw it in a store and it was from a new writer, I would probably not pick it up until I knew for sure the writing was good.
     
  16. Cogito
    Offline

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    35,935
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    First, critique is not appropriate in this part of the sitem and ythe rule do not permit posting here to seek critique,

    As has been said, a concept means nothing. It's what you do with it. From the paragraph you offered, I was not particularly moved.
     
  17. heal41hp
    Offline

    heal41hp Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2013
    Messages:
    225
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Oklahoma, USA
    The Time Traveller's Wife and 50 First Dates also popped into my head! High-fives and/or fist-bumps for Thomas Kitchen, Xatron, and Mckk (your choice :D). I also have to say that EdFromNY is my hero. I adore The Old Man and the Sea. It shifted my paradigm.

    Anyway... Knowing nothing more than what's been presented here, I would absolutely pick up the book and read it. I'd want to see how it's done and if it's been pulled off (also if questions are answered because there's some crazy stuff mentioned).
     
  18. ProsonicLive
    Offline

    ProsonicLive Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2013
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    6
    same here. IDK what to think on the premise alone. There are a lot of books that had GREAT premises and HORRIBLE reading experiences. IE "your heart belongs to me" by Dean Koontz. I literally threw the book and vented my rage with a gears of war marathon, imagining each grub was Dean himself. so, it can go both ways.
     
  19. PyrZern
    Offline

    PyrZern Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Redmond, Washington, United States
    I think you have a nice idea there. Which is good, a good book deserves a good story.
    Now you have to write it, and make it good.

    To answer your question; yes, I want to know more. And maybe, I will read it if you make it good.
     

Share This Page