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  1. DeadMoon
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    DeadMoon Contributing Member Contributor

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    Writing for stand up Comedy

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by DeadMoon, Jan 31, 2015.

    I wanted to take a break from writing stories so I threw together a few jokes. They are meant to be read on stage as a stand up comic, so it helps to break up the set up and punch of the joke. If it helps I had both Bill Hicks and Steven Wrights style in mind while writing. - Enjoy



    I have a deep voice and don't enunciate, meaning I have deep thoughts that I can't understand.

    I’m not a very outgoing person
    for me being a Socialite is when the light from my computer is on me when I’m on Face book.

    I find it ironic when a cover band talks about their music,
    and they said Milli Vanilli never influence anyone.

    I heard a cover band who could cover anything, Well except their bar tab.

    People ask me if I’m in the band, I’ll tell them "No, but you can still buy me drinks while I ignore you.

    The last time I flew to Las Vegas my arms got so tied
    , I guess it’s because my wife didn’t join me in the mile high club.


    It’s hard to win at Blackjack when you’re masochistic , I keep saying “Hit me, Hit me” they tell me “sir, we haven’t dealt the hand yet.”

    Cuts were made to my health policy
    , the only coverage I get now is by six feet of dirt.

    Is it bad luck to tell a male porn star to “Not work to hard?”

    zombies and Jehovah Witness’s have a lot in common: when you see them you shut off the lights, don’t make a sound and find a gun.

    Sex with my ex was a lot like going to a rock concert: It was loud, there was drinking and I always had to pay to “get in.”
     
    cydney and A.M.P. like this.
  2. stevesh
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    stevesh Banned Contributor

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