Writing for the opposite sex

Discussion in 'Character Development' started by starseed, May 4, 2009.

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  1. archer88i

    archer88i Banned Contributor

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    I don't see how so many people seem to think this is somehow optional. The world is filled with people of both kinds. A fictional world filled with only one kind is either a) bull****, or b) primarily written about gender issues. >.>
     
  2. CDRW

    CDRW Contributor Contributor

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    How would you react if someone asked you to write a story where you needed to write a character who "thought like a human?" Two answers come readily to my mind,

    "What the hell, of course I'm going to write someone who thinks like a human I AM one."

    "Do the characters I write not sound human?"

    If your answer is the second then you start wondering how humans think, and then you try to make a character who is an amalgamation of all the characteristics of human thought, throwing them in here and there where they seem to fit. Eventually the character becomes more of an abstract concept than the human behaviors you are basing it off of and you failed to write someone who "thinks like a human" because you tried to write someone who thinks like all humans or most humans or a good chunk of humans.
     
  3. Show

    Show Contributor Contributor

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    I am weird. I can write for the opposite sex, but only for women. lol Yeah, weird I know. I can't seem to write convincing girl, but I can do women just fine. And it's not like I can't write kids, I can do boys of most ages, and men. But girls just don't come out right. It's why most of my female characters are adults or at the very least, older teens.
     
  4. fantasy girl

    fantasy girl New Member

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    surley,, if you can write women you can write girls. tink about it, girls are just younger women. an easier way to think of it is to write it about a childish 20 year old, thatwill be more like a young teen.
     
  5. Atma

    Atma New Member

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    I have to disagree strongly with the statement that said it's difficult, if not impossible to write for the opposite sex.

    What about Harry Potter, then? He's a guy, and Rowling is a female.
    And somebody else pointed out some other good examples that I was going to list as well. Imo, I don't see the big deal. Men are just humans (somewhat :p), just like us females, and so have human emotions as well. They are different yes, just like every human being is different, but if ever in doubt, I'll just ask my guy friends what they think of what my male character does/says/feels in a particular scene. Is it farfetched? More often than not, it's not farfetched. I find it difficult to write about females though, unless they are like me, because I either tend to make them similar to me - or I tend to turn them into villains :p one of my many flaws when it comes to writing.
     
  6. daturaonfire

    daturaonfire New Member

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    I totally disagree with the idea that a writer cannot write outside their gender. Will we also say, 'You shouldn't write outside your country, you haven't lived there?' or 'You shouldn't write about old people, you're not old.' Where would that end? If writers can imagine characters from different species, surely the opposite sex is not too much of a stretch. = )

    In way of recommendations: Wally Lamb's 'She's Come Undone,' is amazing. If I hadn't seen his author pic I would've thought it was a woman writing. Robin Hobb's Royal Assassin triology is a convincing first-person male. Rob Thurman's Nightlife is pretty good too, also male first-person.
     
  7. Kester

    Kester New Member

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    I'm male and I write majority female MCs.
    Maybe it's just me, but I find it incredibly fun to research. I know all about make-up, for example, and regularly get comments along the lines of, "How did you know that?"

    If you can get a handle on the very subtle little thoughts that distinguish the genders, you'll probably impress more people than if you wrote as your own gender. Heck, once you've seen the other side, you could well write your own sex better.
    And the way to research, my friends, is to talk. Chat to lots of people, and ask questions. On the bus, wherever. Take pleasure in it and the writing will come surprisingly easily.
     
  8. Show

    Show Contributor Contributor

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    It's weird, I can't really write girls. The best I can do is a teenager. But younger than that, I just can't seem to feel any of the girls that come out of that. It's a weird phenomenon with me. And writing a childish woman is a bit different than writing a child to me. It's not something I really intend. I guess it's just a trait of my writing.
     
  9. Ziku

    Ziku New Member

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    In two parts of my series I narrate as a woman. In both, unfortunetly, much of the story is more observation then action, but there is still some either way.

    The trick to writing as the oposite sex, in addition to writing as anyone else (a part of my story is also written by a homosexual) is to NOT get hung up on their gender. Focusing on writing as the PERSON, not the gender is the key.
     
  10. KP Williams

    KP Williams Active Member

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    Exactly! It doesn't matter if the character doesn't behave like most men/women, because your character is not most men/women. The character is an individual, and an individual doesn't have to conform to vaunted "standards" or whatnot.

    I can use myself as an example. Many people seem to think that men are only interested in sex. I, personally, am not. You can also take out the word "sex" and replace it with "cars," "sports," "beer," etc. Does that make me unbelievable, just because I don't think or act the way that many others assume is normal? Even if it is out of the ordinary, it's obviously not unbelievable, because that's the way I am in the real world. I don't get along with most other males because I simply do not agree with them half of the time.
     
  11. Primitive

    Primitive New Member

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    Well said.

    Most stories i have written so far (not that their any good, but anyway) Have had at least 50/50 women characters.

    I have five sisters and my dad died when i was three (Im the younger which means well....five older sisters, have a guess what its like). So Pretty much all my life its been the older sisters, my mother and my grandmother......

    So for me its a breeze. I though, actually stuggle to write a decent male character, cause most men i have known (school, work) are.... for the most part, not that decent, and it screws my perspective if i try and write.
     
  12. SingToMeMuse

    SingToMeMuse New Member

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    I'm writing a romance right now and I'm finding it challenging and fun getting inside my hero's head too. You nailed it perfectly with you get to "play a guy" for a while.
    I was really intimidated at first, I did NOT want him to be a girly boy, but it's coming along much easier now and he totally kicks a@$.
     
  13. JJDupre

    JJDupre New Member

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    The novel I'm working on focuses on four main characters. Each chapter is divided into 2-3 sections, in which the point of view changes to give the reader a look into what is happening and how each character is developing.

    Two of my characters are female, and the other two are male.

    It has been slightly difficult to write for my male characters, as I'm a lady-person, but because the two guys in the story are based on my brother and my...er...uber-guy-friend...It's pretty easy for me to write for them. I just try to imagine how the people the characters are based on would react in the situations I'm putting them through.
     
  14. TragicJuliet

    TragicJuliet New Member

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    I think writing different genders it just like writing anything else, you do research, watch guys, watch how they act, ask them questions, get to know them. Plus most "stereo" types I believe don't even fall true which makes it a bit easier.
     
  15. zorell

    zorell New Member

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    I find it funny when I write as male characters because they're either overly macho or spineless. in other words, my male mains tend to piss me off...so I only have supporting males at the moment.

    It may be an exercise in futility, but I do try to write as male mains at times...but I also have a female main to balance him. It's easier, in my opinion, to compare them than to try to be what I am not...and I sometimes forget to write in terms of gender. My female mains have been called "warrior-like" and my men overly "domestic." But I'm trying- that is what counts.
     
  16. Rei

    Rei Contributor Contributor

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    There are real women who are warriors (ever heard if Joan of Arc) and real men who are great stay-at-home parents.
     
  17. starseed

    starseed New Member

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    Yay, thanks for all the good responses. I'm glad to see most people see it like I do. :)
     
  18. zorell

    zorell New Member

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    I know that and get what you're saying...I misworded what I meant. The general observation about my male characters can be too feminine at times and my females too manly when I place them in the wrong situation.
     
  19. Kas

    Kas New Member

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    Blanket statements like that are almost never true... The reality is that in a modern, free society, guys just don't like speaking to other guys about emotions. Most women are very easy to talk to, even if you don't relate. Most of us write within our own culture, so I'm just gonna talk about that.

    My most intimate conversations are always with women. I can talk to my closest female friends about anything imaginable, especially because they reciprocate! Also, it's not unusual for her to say "I could never say that to another woman!" after she describes her (ahem) preferences. Here's a neat fact for any guys who don't know. . . Most women have sex fantasies just as crazy as yours. Maybe a little different, but just as weird. On the other hand, I'm not really comfortable talking to a guy about the strangest thing he likes to do in bed, and why he loves it. I just don't need that image in my head.

    When a woman starts telling me things about how to treat her right, you better beileve I pay attention. And I'll tell her anything she wants to know. It doesn't matter if the conversation is about sex, hurt feelings, love, betrayal or whatever. It's all good to know, and all very interesting. The only reason I can see to avoid those conversations in western culture is if you're gay.

    The ultimate points are that: A. The opposite sex is easy to talk to, and B. If you can talk to the opposite sex, then you can write about them. Of course, it's still a challenge, because it seems like there's always more to learn.

    What really annoys me is this stupid pop culture myth that men and women just can't understand each other. It's only true if you believe it, and so you don't try. In the words of George Carlin, "It's bull****, and it's bad for ya!."

    When in doubt, just talk to someone.

    And there's my second rant of the day. . .
     
  20. sillypeaz001

    sillypeaz001 New Member

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    Robin Hobb

    Hey, only just jumped onto the bandwagon here, but I just have to say two words: Robin. Hobb.
    Seriously. read her stuff. I was convinced for the whole first trilogy that she was a male author. It was only when I was looking for the second that I discovered she was actually a she. Even then, I sometimes forgot. At first I thought it was just me, but I shared her writing with my boyfriend to see what he thought. When I asked him what he thought he said "he is a brilliant writer" when I corrected his mistake, he almost didnt believe me, that's how good she is!

    so yeah, if you want to read some good examples and see proof that writing from the perspective of the opposite gender is actually possible, read her work.

    Good luck! :)
     
  21. TragicJuliet

    TragicJuliet New Member

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    Another good writer, I thought, was S.E Hinton who wrote a lot of young teen books with the male POV ( Outsiders, Tex, That was Then this is now) and she was brilliant writing them!
     
  22. Velvet Muse

    Velvet Muse New Member

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    I base my characters off of traits (impulsive, for example) and what drives them (to feel go their entire life, for example). For me, gender is just another character trait. I will admit, though, that dialogue from males and females differ greatly. So, I just listen to them. Just go out in the mall and listen to people (I know it sounds crazy and sort of creepy, but you'll get dialogue from all sorts of people).
     
  23. sidtvicious

    sidtvicious Contributor Contributor

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    I am currently writing from the perspective of a female antagonist (i'm male) within a speech. I've found it kind of fun too. This is rather because i've been writing her chiefly as one of my closest female friend and ex-girl friends. One of the more humorous things has been calling her up at 4am to ask "how would you say this?"
     
  24. 3lli3 -x

    3lli3 -x New Member

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    I actually really enjoy writing from a male perspective, as it is admitedly completely different to a females.
    The twilight saga's 4th book brakeing dawn (Stephenie meyer), alternates in chapters between male and female perspectives it does confuse a little at first, but i found it very benefitial.
     
  25. JHWagner

    JHWagner New Member

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    A few suggestions from German Lit

    Robert Musil (okay, he's austrian), Five Women. Theodor Fontane, Effi Briest, some novellas by Stefan Zweig. The first two can be found in English, and New York Review of Books' press is reprinting a lot Zweig.

    I used to teach Grimms' fairy tales--lots of those, which were collected from the commons have female heroines, lots of them have boy/girl pairings, and its assumed that the originators of many of these tales were women.

    I have a couple of male characters in the novel I'm writing; the starting point for one was the part of my father i have internalized, for the second--not sure yet, and perhaps for that reason he's still somewhat undefined...
     

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