You read in the bathroom. If you spend more than an hour shopping for books, when you're broke. An unreturned book from your friend brings the Hulk out like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde--especially if the book is tattered, doggeared, or bent in anyway, shape, or form. When you see a perfect stranger reading a book in a public place, and you make a fool out of yourself trying to see what it is. When the checking account balance is in the minus from all the Amazon purchases. Your favorite Twilight Zone episode is 'All The Time In The World' with Burgess Meredith... ... When your will is for your favorite book to be read aloud at the funeral. ... You salivate when entering your local bookstore. When someone tells you that they enjoy watching television, and on inexplicable primal instinct you tackle them to the ground and begin to bludgeon them to death with a hardcover copy of The Stand. In the process of this your bookmark falls out, and of course you have no choice but to indulge in your anger and kick them while they're down.