Editing for "Proxy Soldier" formerly "Straft" continues, a Cyberpunk Military Novel This journal will help me keep track of my efforts to transform my manuscript into a completed novel, worthy of beta reads and critiques. Current editing methods: Alpha Reads, and The Oral Edit. With the entire manuscript complete, I will read the story out-loud to myself and take notes. Goals of Alpha Reads: -Get open, first impressions of my story. -Get open, first impressions of my 'style'. Goals of Oral Edit: -Note any places where the phrasing causes me to stumble, the wording feels confusing or out of place, or my mind seems to wander from the text. -Record how long each chapter takes to actually read. -Ensure the theme of the story is present in the text, as opposed to simply in my mind. -Continue to check for spelling and grammar issues, and setting, character, plot inconsistencies. Manuscript Wordcount: 94,718 Words Edited: Words Cut: New Critique Notes +My 'war story' reads like a 'war story'. +Interesting Characters. -Linebreaks lack style. They need to drive/separate/enhance the action. -Technobabble is still present. I need to explain what things are in a more clear manner. General Notes: I have two Alpha readers as of writing this. Their notes on the first chapter have already given me a wealth of knowledge and insight into the limitations and strength of both my story, and my writing 'style'. ------------------------------------------------------------ COMPLETE Editing for "Straft" begins now, a Cyberpunk Military Novel This journal will help me keep track of my efforts to transform my first draft into a Novel-length manuscript, worthy of alpha reads and further editing. Current editing method: The Close-In Edit. With the entire first draft complete I will go through the manuscript from beginning-to-end for a complete rewrite. Goals of Close-In Edit: -Correct all spelling and grammar issues. -Check for and plug any major plot holes. -Check that all scenes are required to present the story, editing or adding as necessary. -Ensure the three main point-of-view characters properly present their ideas, their three voices conveying the themes of the story. -Ensure all setting information is consistent within the universe. 1st Draft Word Count 183,465 Remaining Word Count: 69,073 Edited Words: 119,845 2nd Draft Word Count: 94,718 Words Edited: 5,294 Words Cut: 1,171 Critique notes: +I possess some technical skill, and am capable of constructing competent narrative arcs. +I can write action scenes that make sense, with some described as easy to follow +I am good at building tension, both with action and narrative. +My ideas and concepts are creative. -I am poor at establishing settings. I need to ensure the background is set before just getting into the action. -I insert needless "stage direction" during dialog. I need to let the characters just talk. -I overuse technical jargon, such as military lingo or scientific babble. I need to ensure ideas are conveyed simply. -Copulative writing. I need to rely less on weak, conjoined verbs. -Far too many 'was' words. Direct action is better than saying someone 'was about to do something.' -I use pedestrian dialog. I need to make sure secondary characters only speak if I need to establish them in a scene, I am trying to layer on their personality, or they actually do something. General Notes: I developed and adhered to a planned story framework, and the draft is divided into approximately 34 chapters of 3000-5000 words each. I wrote this draft without spellcheck, grammarcheck, or wordcount, transcribing every bit of story and idea I could into the narrative. I expect to edit out a lot of fluff and redundancy.