Is he blind? Stupid? Oblivious!?!? He should know how i feel, I've told him. Is all that we were a sum of nothing? Is all that we are simply a fragment of vapor? Is time the force that keeps us apart? He and I were so close, best friends. Then we fell in love... so much pain and space and time tried to pry us away from each other. So many circumstances brought us to where we are now, barely able to communicate, and not because of lack of desire. we are not together anymore. He calls me his best friend, he worries over me, reasures me that i am strong and capable, laughs and jokes and tells me his secrets... and when i do get to see him, i watch his eyes behold me as though i am some kind of secret treasure that only he has ever seen, and then when he sees me looking, a wall goes up behind those same eyes. I miss him like i would miss my right arm. He is one of the few in this world i trust entirely, one of the few that i would cross the world for, one of the only that i would die for. He inspires me, teases me, and uplifts me. He protects me from the people that hurt me, the circumstances of the world, and even myself. When i am broken he helps me put the pieces back the right way. In short, I love him, and don't know how to tell him... again.
I'm getting kicked out of my house. I told my parents i wanted a job because i don't want to live there my entire life (i'm 18). they told me they don't agree, they think it's (get this) UNGODLY to move out until you're married. so they said if i got the job they would take my paycheck and put it in another account, i wouldn't be able to touch it. I told them i was an adult, and could handle my own money... and that's when my dad began to yell that i "Get out of his house right now". Mind you, i've had no problems managing the money i already have, and i have no drug, alcohol, or sex related issues. I'm in college, a sophomore to be exact, and i really think they're crazy. I don't WANT to stay there now... but idk what in the world to do... ON a good note, there is a place interested in hiring me... hopefully it will work out.
There's a sad sort of damnation that happens when you close your eyes to all the love that you could have had and listen to bitter lies Then you lock yourself up in the darkness and whisper alone your pain and you never let anyone come close to your heart again
My eyes two emerald birds fly to the safety of your own we do not touch cannot touch a wall surrounds our hearts and yet we reach with our souls until they crackle in embrace a soft caress beneath the veil and now i die again for you blink and break the spell alone we are again
Last night when i fell asleep, he came again to me; that cold-staring beast that enslaves with his aching melody His thousand harpys held me still so i would hear the whole and once again be bewitched and held by his control and now the numb consumes me only broken by the pain and he laughs as i scream and reach for light in vain This time love cannot save me for Love left me without wings now i'm taunted by my silent wish in the song the cold beast sings
You there, in the shadows Yes, memory in shrouds There for but a moment Then swept away like clouds You are my only lover For the man you were is gone You chill me with your presence And haunt me with your song You are embodied emptiness And cling to me at night And mock me from every shadow As I move through the light There at every corner And even in my dreams And every where I go You follow me it seems The days are slipping past I'm slowly losing track So tell me; If I can't forget Why can't I bring you back?