She was walking down the dark alley. He had left her that was the only explanation to his unresponsive, ignorant behavior the past month. She had thought it was the gloomy weather that was pulling him down but had never suspected a betrayal. During the past month their relationship was going through a difficult time. She had tried to revive back the love, the attraction. the mutual understanding they shared, without much success. And just the thought of their falling relationship brought tears to her eyes which she hastily wiped away .She was a strong girl and dint like to show people that she had been crying, but during those days when she had been having one of her bad days she had had Ankit by her side, but now without him it seemed impossible to carry on with life.
CHAPTER 1-FADED MEMORIES
The last two years of her life had been the happiest with Ankit by her side, helping, guiding her. He had always been there for her...helping her recover from her bruises and falls all the time making her fall in love with her all over again. It was in the _______library that they had met.He was searching some material for his assignment on Literature. Literature had been one of her favorite subject in high school. So she decided to help that clueless guy.The ended up exchanging numbers and with a promise that they would meet for coffee soon. After a week she got a call from him asking her to coffee. She agreed, so they met up at 5 that day in the in house café, ________.It turned out that he needed some more help in his assignment.By the time, they completed his assignment they had started liking each other. And before she knew she had fallen over for him.
Now,Ankit was an inevitable part of her life.Without him life seemed impossible and worthless.They spent almost every day together chatting,laughing,smiling and sharing there woes.Even during her bad days he had always been there for her,to wipe off her tears,to encourage and support her.Sometimes they got so engrossed with each other that the outside world held little interest for them.Once he had said"Baby,do you think this world hold any intertest for me without you".his words had affected her greatly and she couldnt help but fall in love with him all over again.
She jerked out of her dreams into reality.It had started raining but she made no efforts to walk faster.She had some how managed to control herself when he had said "its over, Kirti"
But now hell broke loose. She found herself crying and sobbing over him.Her tears mingled with the rain.She somehow manged to reach home but couldnt get herself some sleep till 5 in the morning.She kept tossing and turning the whole night, thinking what had gone wrong.She was awakened by the shrill noise of her cellphone she thought and hoped thet it might be him but it turned out to be her mum.After talking to her mum she got up from her bed and moved to the window to push the curtains aside.It seemed that the weather was also lamenting with her and before she knew she was crying again.She gathered her broken self and opened her closet to get herself something to wear and went to the bathroom to get a shower.In the shower all she could think was Ankit,the cozy times they had spent together,she in his arms watching the sunset,walking together along the beach their arms twined together with the waves touching their feet.They had always felt so strongly for each other,but now it seemed all the attraction,love had managed to trickle out of their relationship.After dressing,she couldnt think of what to do,usually by then he would have called and would have picked her up from her place and then they would go to some quite place and work together helping each other in their assignments and now she was lost,without him.she thought could she ever learn to live her life without him. In the past 2 years he had become a kind of addiction for her.
Her cellphone rang and that broght her back to reality.It was her mum calling back again.She ignored it because she knew she was not yet able to talk to her mum.Her mum would surely sense that somthing was wrong and she was not ready to answer her questions and would surely break down before her.She was confused,lost,broken,tired and needed some fresh air to think clearly.She put on her trainers and her nike shoes,left her phone on the bed and closed the door behind her.She got down to the pavement and jogged her way to the park all the while thinking about himShe knew she was looking awfull and felt the same,she felt empty and incomplete....
But life does not wait for you to recover from your bruises and your mistakes.
It somehow continues..with broken dreams and broken hearts.Semester exams were coming up,and she knew she wasn’t going to perform very well this time.Her grades would fall drastically.Her teachers would be highly disappointed with her grades because she has been doing extremely well is the past semesters and they had high hopes from her.
But she couldn’t help it.sitting down to study seemed the most difficult thing to do nowadays.her trail of thoughts would somehow lead to Ankit then those tears which would refuse to stop.every moment spend with him would flash by her…how in the world was she supposed to study like this..!!She was frustrated, angry,hurt and was regretting having made him the centre of her existence .She had never expected this regret .She had never thought that she would ever regard him as a mistake.He had once been the most beautiful thing in her life and now was he just a mistake?a misjudgement?This thought was hard to swallow.She fought back these thoughts.No it wasn’t a folly of hers.He was and would always be the best thing in her life.Maybe he dint need her anymore but she would always want to be in his arms, and would always want to be that special one in his life.He had made her see how beautiful the world was,he had made her live her life to the fullest;taking risks,challenging life,making friends and the most________of all making memories.
Ankit was studying photography and used to carry a digital Nikon camera with him everywhere,and he loved capturing the moments we spent together.He always used to say,” Kirti,whats the use of the invention of camera if we don’t use it to capture the memorable moments of lives, seeing which we can always cry and laugh later.”
On her twentieth birthday he had gifted her an album of their pictures,each moment of ecstasy captured so wonderfully, each picture,a reminder of the wonderful days and the never ending evenings.But she could never make herself throw that album in the trash after his betrayal.Her heart was trying to hold on to every tiny bit of his existence.Maybe it was time to move on.But move on from what?Her life?Her existence?
“Beep beep beep”the alarm ringing woke her up,yet another day.But there was not a single ray of light in her room.Lately she had made darkness her accomplice.She detested the bright light of the sun,it was seemed ike a spotlight on her life.She always kept the blinds on her windows drawn.she liked staying in the shadows, it matched her mood and it reflected her life so full of darkness and anguish.
Each day she woke up with a flood of dilemma not knowing how to begin her day.she merely every day dragged herself from the bed,to spend her day exactly like the day before.she would get dressed and board the subway to her college.she sat through the classes without a care,hardly paying attention to the lectures.Through the lunch hour though she was surrounded by her friends but their chatter and talks never made through her ears.she was lost in her own world and their empty chatter and gossip dint seem to have any significance in this world of hers.The attempts of her concerned friends had proved futile and dint seem to have any effect on her, and at last they had gave up, and let her be..Teachers too had stopped paying attention to her,they made a point not to ask her questions anymore because she never responded.Her grades took a toll.......-(to be continued..)
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