The world is filled with a healthy number of very attractive girls. Many of those girls, in fact, can be found at my very school. Their femine features are beautifully sculpted, their hair in various browns and yellows falling lightly to their shoulders, and their bodies lithe and agile, they are almost perfect models for photography.
And yet, with irritating consistency, upon inquiry, they insist that they not photogenic in the slightest, that they always look terrible in photos. They duck and hide their angelic features behind purses or sheild themselves from the glass eyes of cameras with their arms.
It is INFURIATING. Here they are, beautuful girls, whining pathetically that they aren't pretty when they quite clearly are!! It is so indescribably aggravating.
Now, I'm avid photographer, I'm on yearbook staff as a photographer, and one the areas of photography that I enjoy the most is model/portraiture. Naturally, attractive girls make the best pictures, and its very fun working with pretty girls and producing photos that exemplify this beauty.
Ergo, when the pretty girls subsquently refuse to be photographed on the basis of a entirely untrue claim of un-photogenic-ness, I pretty much want to start ripping hair out.
Why do all these girls insist upon insisting that they are not pretty? Some people have suggested that it is simply a way to fish for compliments, but some of these girls are quite stubborn and adamant about being photographed, and its difficult for me to believe that this is the case. Perhaps for some, but for others this can't be the explanation.
I just can't understand why they have to run away screaming and hiding their faces, saying they're not pretty, when they are!!! They extremely attractive? Why can't they just see that?
Can anyone shed light upon this matter?
Something I've realized, over the course of my High School trials and tribulations, is that it's far easier to hate and be hated, then to pour all your time, tears, and tenacity into getting people to like you.
For instance, it takes weeks, months, even, to build up a solid reputation among your peers, to establish oneself as a friendly, good-natured,and likable guy. Friendships and reputations are things that are cultivated, as a crop of vegetables, or an orchard is cultivated.
However, with a single phrase an individual can be instantly turned against you, their animosity and dislike instantly brought upon you. Add to that another word or phrase, and you have a long lasting enemy whose disposition will not easily be returned to that of a friend.
The establishment of your personality amongst your peers is a very difficult task indeed if one desires the perception to be that of a good one. Every words must be watched, every action carefully executed, every sentence spoken meticulously analyzed. The extent to which one's self-consciouness rises is astounding and disturbing. The fear of saying or doing something that might possibly in any way decrease the amound of goodwill another might have for you consumes you, domintates your every facial expression and laugh. It is a curse, a burden the threatens to break one down entirely.
It's so easy, so incredibly easy, to become disliked, to have those around you view you with contempt. Certainly, being disliked takes little effort, as indifference is easily construed as a notion of dislike. One does not have to do favors for friends, talk to them when you do not feel like talking, listen to their problems and their friend's problems. Friends require a severe amount of effort, and the lack of any conversly requires almost none.
Thus, it is easier to hate. When you can view those around you with contempt, their contemptous words are easily dismissed, easily ignored. For if you hate them so much, one can build up a wall of contempt and hate, of spite and bitterness, and the words of your enemies meets nought but a sneer fixed upon your face.
It's easier, so much easier to hate. You don't have to worry about what your peers think. You can be yourself, there is no peer pressure because your peers have all already ostrasized you. To be hated is to be free.
It's so much easier to hate and be hated.
So I've recently gotten out of an internet relationship. During and prior to the relationship, it had been my belief that there is only one person, one soulmate for each person in the world. I had believed that the person I was in the relationship with was in fact the only person for me.
I'm not going to go into the details of our fight, but we are completely finished with each other. As I was nursing my wounds, I heard an episode of "This American Life." The episode was about people looking for and indeed finding the person of their dreams, and given my present situation it almost seemed to be divine intervention that I should heard that particular broadcast at that time.
The story began with a Harvard Physcist talking about how he and his peers had been joking how none of them had girlfriends, and the ensuing discusion. During the course of their dialogue they brought up the Drake Equation, a formula used to calculate the number of planets in the universe that may be able to support life. What the scientists did was, in short, replace planets with Girlfriends. They took the number of people in Boston (300,000), and when all of a sudden done, they had narrowed the number down to just 1200, which wasn't even including personal preferences such as religion or interests.
However the physicist being interviewed mentioned that the was only the city of Boston, and that there are billions of people in the world. He said, (and this really inspired me), "You gotta believe there that there's more then one. If you think there's only one, GOOD LUCK. They could speak Chinese. Good luck finding them and the translator."
I realized, with a dawning euphoria reminiscent of Archimedes, that this statement was incontrovertibly true, and that out of the billions of people on the planet earth, there was in fact more then one singular female that I could love.
A smile grew slowly but surely across my face, an expression that seemed peculiar on the brown skin of my face, as a smile hadn't traced it in several days.
A certain facet of my personality that many destest about me is my desire to argue, and more importantly, disagree with the norm. I can't help but feel scorn and distaste of those who submit so willingly and entirely to conformism, and try so desperatly hard to fit in.
I suppose, however, that I can't entirely critisize conformism because to an extent its part of human nature, and I myself am somewhat a victim to its malevolent power. However, there is a point where one should strive to quench the thirst, and not drown yourself fully in what you think will impress your peers.
I don't know why I've grown up so desperate to non-conform. It's probably something to do with my childhood, as many parts of our personalities are shaped during that period, but I will probably never know for sure. I do know, however, that I will never be content to simply "stick with the status quo" as High School Musical preaches. I will always be one to "mess with the flow."
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