I've thought a lot over the last few months about what I want to get out of my writing. Yes, I write to write, just like everyone else, but I do have an ultimate goal in mind as well. One day, I'd like to be able to support myself with my writing. I know most of us here would like to be able to do the same. So, if writing to support oneself is the goal... what can we do to achieve that goal? Well, that question requires a good long look at what you as a writer are, or are not willing to do. Some writers go the way of the blogger, some stick to social media to build platforms, some jump to indie publishing, and others plug away looking for more traditional ways to get their writing out there. I've talked before about my writing groups, and a few members in one such group are striking into the world of online freelance work. with sites online such as Up work, and freelancer, there seems to be a whole host of places online for people to get themselves out there, and try to make their work .. well ... work for them. I've looked at several such sites and wondered what exactly is entailed in becoming a "freelancer". For example, does it require near perfect grammar, (if so we all know I'm in big trouble..) being clever, or funny? Or is there some other secret formula for freelance success? I have no idea, but I guess I'm about to find out as I've just bid on my first freelance project. It's for niche writing, articles about animals. I should be a good fit for this, after all, I've spent the last eleven years of my professional life working in a veterinary clinic as a lead technician, and I already write all of the social media posts for my office. I can do this, I got this. I just hope the person on the other end of the screen agrees. Wish me luck!
Someone much smarter than me once said, "Time heals everything." Although, I'm sure this is true, sometimes it just doesn't seem that way. I've been absent as of late because I haven't been writing, and didn't feel like posting anything for fear it would come out like a pity party. I've spent the last few months wading through my own personal well of muck and excrement. It hasn't been fun, but hopefully I'm through the worst of it, and will soon start to feel more like myself again. I know I've talked a good deal before here about how dealing with personal things can affect someones creativity. Sometimes just showing up to do the work isn't enough. Since October, I've only manages to finish one seriously crappy short about a cat destroying a Christmas tree for a rl writing group, and about two other paragraphs on a new short. Again, not complaining, just hoping that I'll actually have something to post for critique and can be in a better mind set to do the same for others soon. I hope that so far in 2017, the new year is treating everyone well. -Corbyn
I must confess, lately, I have no idea if I'm coming or going. Adulting is sucking up so much of my mental capabilities that I can't seem to carve out anything other than waking up day after day. I'm sure a few of you here can sympathize with that. Tomorrow, Nano starts. Does it really matter? No, not really. I participate every year, but I already know that this year I will not be "winning" Nano. I'll be going through the motions. Sometimes, repetitive motions are all we have. And no, I don't mean that to be negative. It just is what it is. This year I will be using Nano simply to keep myself writing. I don't much care what it is, as long as it's something. I haven't been able to muster much lately to even be able to write. That's ok. Sometimes things happen things that just require you to go on autopilot until you're through the slop of it all. I hope everyone gets what they need out of Nano this year. I do encourage people to try it at least once. It can be very helpful, and in some cases liberating. Happy Nano-eve everyone.
When I was fifteen I had a crush on a boy. He happened to be my best friend at the time (I don’t make them easily). We spent a lot of time together including participating regularly at local rodeos. He was great with horses, where I felt—less than adequate. I remember one weekend we were driving to Sayer Oklahoma. It’s a long drive from where we grew up. We had a 23-year-old with us, who wanted to go so she could travel up there with her sister the next time we competed. (Yes, I agree that’s a lame excuse, and so did our parents.) But half way there we had to stop for gas, and my friend, and his mother insisted I sit between them the rest of the way. Why? Because my friend was a year younger than me and the woman in question kept trying to get cozy. I obliged and bore the brunt of the woman’s considerable scorn. She insisted she sit in the middle. I stated I needed to see where we were going because it was likely the next year that I would have to drive us up there. After a few pointed remarks on our parts (of which our mothers were both snickering in the front seat) I was informed that I was a pessimist. I replied, “No, I’m just the dose of reality that you need.” I bring this up because it wasn’t the first time over the years that it’s been brought to my attention that I’m either a pessimist or very negative— and ya know what? It’s true. Yes, I said it. It’s very true. Over the years, that statement I snapped back at the 23-year-old would be sicko still holds true, at least in my mind. When I think I’m being realistic about things it’s usually just my brain deciding that for whatever reason the situation is probably not going to go down like anyone involved hopes it will. Part of that is past experience, but mostly it’s my coping mechanism. It’s not a healthy one. Often I feel like I’m a failure. I have this picture of myself that I strive to get to. Someone who's “with it”, meaning well put together, has their ducks in a nice little row and knows what she wants, or better yet just exactly how to get there. That’s not life. I know this, and yet I still feel bad every once in a while for not being that person. That’s not to say I don’t have most of my ducks in their nice little rows, it’s just easy to forget that when doubt sneaks up and smack you upside the head at 10PM on a Saturday night. My way of coping with those feelings is to reach out to friends. Hopefully to try talking my way out of them, but often it results in my negativity leaching through the conversation. The horror doesn’t stop there. It’s hard NOT to be negative about a wide range of things. Sometimes, it even affects my creativity, but especially my writing. I recently got back a form letter that said thanks for submitting to such and such, and we’ve announced the winners, better luck next year. This short was one of the better things I’ve written lately, but it wasn’t good enough, and the part that it wasn’t good enough is ok. I’m not upset. But what’s happened is that I’ve let myself get fixated on how I can make it better, instead of plotting, and actually writing, which isn’t good. So how do you break habits? First, I believe you HAVE to acknowledge them. This is me doing that. I have a bad habit of being negative about my writing, and letting my negativity affect my creativity, and I realize I have to stop doing that. I have to keep working and let it go. It’s a stepping stone for becoming the best writer I can be, and nothing more. Second, hold yourself accountable to your goals. If you feel like you’re letting your expectations of yourself, or what others expect from you down, stop. Realize that the only thing you're accountable for is not finishing or seeing through your goal. It doesn’t matter how you get there, or how long it takes you to get to that point in your journey, what matters is that you do get there. I know it’s easier said than done, most things are—but I feel like it’s worth the effort to try. How do you cope with the parts of yourself that hinder your progress?
*Takes a huge breath before plowing ahead.* It's no secret how much I hate the query letter by now. To say it's been the thorn in my side for the last three days, would be a vast understatement. By the end of yesterday, the score was query letter (6,000) Corbyn (0). To that end, I owe @BayView and @Tenderiser a huge debt. They helped put the dreaded query letter in perspective. I'm immensely grateful, if not for the help of both of you I'd still be floundering around with the initial draft, which was so horrible... just so horrible! Anyway, why did I put so much effort into the thing when I don't even have a WIP to show for it? The query letter in question was part of a homework assignment of sorts, for one of my RL writing groups. Next Monday, we'll be doing a query letter workshop. Do I need that dreaded query letter? Not really. I'm more focused on trying to actually get my first draft finished. Did I need to do it right now? Yes. I've been struggling with my plot for what seems like an eternity. I had a bunch of pieces, I knew I was missing smaller ones to make the picture whole, but I couldn't pinpoint them. Having to actually walk through the plot with @Tenderiser put a good bit of it into perspective for me. So, for as much of a headache as the query letter is, I'll be writing more of them and far more frequently.
In May I entered a short story in my first ever contest. I must confess, I'm becoming more than a little antsy over it. I know I've done everything I can, and that getting antsy does me no good, but there it is. I'm the kid who refused to touch the Christmas presents for fear I'd guess what was inside, or worse... want to open it so badly that it ruined the surprise all together. As an adult I don't get overly worked up over things, especially trips, at least not until the night before then I panic because of course, there are a million and one things to do before hand. But now, the suspense is horrible. I think I've done a fairly decent job keeping a lid on it up to this point, but looking at the calendar and realizing that sometime between now and October 16th I'll either have done well in what could be a life-changing way, or not... it's nerve racking. It's hair splitting. I want to pace my desk and work my fingers down to the quick just to keep from looking at that damn calendar one more time. What's worse, is the writing isn't happening right now. I think that's worse than the waiting by far. I feel like all my creative umph is just gone. I know technically it's not, but some days it feels that way. I've been reading everything I can get my hands on, and some things I'd never consider reading on a bet, just to replenish the words. Perhaps all of this is just work related stress, finally rearing its head again. It seems like the times of year when I'm over stressed at work, my writing becomes scarce to nonexistent. Then again, maybe I just need more sleep, and a change... if I knew, I wouldn't be ranting about it!
I've been away from the forum for a while, and I shouldn't have been. I let one negative interaction with a member get to me, and I shouldn't have done that either. It's far too easy to let interactions with people color how you see yourself in a place, and how you share with everyone else there, and that's not ok. But I've realized the error of my ways and am back. In keeping with the entry theme, I actually wanted to talk about what I've done lately to foster my writing, and how not being around the forum has affected my productivity for the better or worse. First, I've kept up with my regular writing group, and we've taken steps to make it more successful for everyone involved, which I'm extremely excited about. I hope the group will become a thing that sticks around for the people in the community even if the rest of us are no longer there. Second, I've reached out to other writers from a larger area. I've been lucky to receive a good bit of advice from people who've been stuck where I am, and I hope to be able to implement it moving forward. Because that's after all what I want, to be able to move forward with my writing. Third, I took a mini (4 day) vacation. I took my sister (who also writes) and several other ladies on a weekend getaway into the New Mexico mountains. It was sorely needed and gave me the opportunity to foster my creativity in a way that I can't do at home. Plus we got to workshop a bit which is always great! Mostly, the mountains were healing for me, and already I find myself missing the mist blanketing the trees, and all the rain. I think I'd be happy to live there, and I'm not saying that just because I like to visit the area, but because some parts of Texas are like living in hell, and are soul-sapping. Anyway, I could ramble on forever, and that's not really what anyone here is interested in. What activities have you partaken in to help bolster your writing?
As I've said before, I write because I want to tell stories that entertain people, but it's more than that, and not nearly that simple. I want to be able to tell stories that people can't wait to read. That's a long road to walk down. Especially when you battle your own demons all along the way. I've written more in the last six months, and more consistently than I ever have before. Yet, I still feel like a fraud, like someone playing at being a writer, even though my platform building is going well enough, and I have followers out in the vastness of the webs. I still feel like a fake. I'm not sure that's ever going to go away. I just finished a short story series and a standalone short story. The first is available for viewing, the second I submitted to a contest and am waiting to hear back on. I finished the first project only days ago, and I've been trying to think of what project I want to tackle next. That's where my self-doubt gets me into trouble. You see every year since 2011 I've participated in Nanowrimo. I've only ever finished Nano once. That novel is a train wreck and then some. I'm not even sure where to start with revising it for use. It will take so much work it would be easier to attempt to rewrite the whole thing, and just use bits 'n pieces. I've thought about that, and honestly the plot is so weak that at this point it just needs to sit on a shelf and percolate. It was a good idea at the time, but will not a novel make. That brings me to Tanglewood. I have strong feelings about Tanglewood. I feel like it could be a really good story. If I can get out of my own way long enough to write it. I think the scope and idea of Tanglewood is soo much bigger than me that it scares me, and that's why I haven't really tried to write it. Let me clarify, I mean that part of me is probably scared Tanglewood will wind up like my last fully completed first draft novel, and that would be so horrible that I think it's what's keeping me from diving into the writing. Have you ever had a story idea that's so juicy, so good, that you're dying to play in that world, only to find out that you're just not cool enough for that bus? That's how I feel about Tanglewood. I know I'm getting in my own way, and I feel like I should be writing Tanglewood, I'm just not sure how to get out of my own head long enough to make it happen. #writerproblems!!
This blog post is an extension of my last. They both relate to feedback and honing writing skills. As the title suggest, I'll be writing about Alpha readers. Personally, I have no experience with an alpha reader, and have never used one, but I'd like to change that. I bet you're wondering how I managed to write, and not really have an alpha reader right? Technically, I did have people reading my work, but it was usually in a critique group setting, and as the few of you who've read any of my work here know, I haven't posted much in the way of current projects here in a good while. Why do I want to make the switch? Because I feel myself struggling with novel attempts. I know I can write short stories, I've done several of them that have been well received, but my novel attempt which I took to my critique group, was I feel a failure. I basically learned everything NOT to do when trying to write a novel. I don't want to repeat those mistakes, so I'm looking for a more personal, and quicker approach (I say quicker because I only get to meet with my critique group once a month). I'm willing to give the old Alpha reader a try, how do you hone your work and skill? So, I say: Alpha Reader Wanted, please pm for further dialogue.
So today I saw a post by Kevin Hearne on facebook. For those of you who don't know who Kevin Hearne is, he writes the Iron Druid Chronicles (which is wildly entertaining and you should read it if you like fantasy). Anyway, the post talked about his editor, and it got me curious so I looked her up. (Yes I feel a little bit like a cyber stalker right now thanks!) As it turns out, I found a interview/set of dialogue between Kevin and his editor (Tricia) at Del Rey which outlines what it's like to work on one of Kevin's books. Mind you, Kevin Hearne is a NY Times bestselling author, so I read it being the fangirl that I am. A few things struck me about the post. First, I admire the relationship that Kevin has with his editor, and if I ever find myself in a position to have an editor like that, I hope I have that kind of relationship with them as well. Secondly, the process, which is what this post is really all about. I'll be posting a link to the article I read later, but essentially it's an outline for the process that one of Kevin's books goes through from first draft to completion. Even as a newbie writer I know that the book I finish will go through multiple reincarnations before it's anywhere near ready to be seen by anyone. What surprised me was the number of revisions that one of Kevin's books go through. I should mention here that not only is Kevin Hearne's series been a bestseller, but he's also been an English teacher, does that mean his grammatical chops are all encompassing? No, but he definitely has a leg up on most of us. In any event, his stories start off just like the rest of ours, in the rough draft phase. Once he's combed through them once, they're shipped off to an alpha reader, then combed through again. It's at this point his (first draft) is sent to his editor for review, line edit, and well it's much like a really good critique group wrapped up in one person. I won't bore you with all the details of what happens from here on out, but I will say you should read through the process yourself. You're probably wondering what the point is of this post and why I didn't just share the link and move on. Well, I want to stress how important it is to have someone for feedback on your work. Someone not related to you, that probably barely knows you at all. It's important to get that feedback, to know what's working and what's not in your piece. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for all the trees. I hope we can all find someone who knows our voices well enough to be that person for us, and I want to encourage myself to find someone like that (an alpha reader and editor to help make my pieces the best they can be...) but also to remind myself and everyone else not to be so hung up about needing the help. I mean if a writer like Kevin Hearne (or heck pick your own favorite) still does, what's my excuse for not looking for it? http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/04/on-revision-this-title-needs-revision.html
We all deal with stress (or try to) in our own ways. But what do you do when your normal stress coping mechanisms or skills just aren't up to the task? Or when the stresses become too repetitive too often? In my case, I'm always under stress, it's the nature of my job. I have noticed over the last few months that the amounts of stress I'm under, and the frequency has escalated, not lessened. That's a problem that is not only affecting my physical, but also mental health. It's the mental part that's probably bugging me the most. I find that I'm far more snappy, and unpleasant to be around. In situations where I'm more personable with people I rely on, I've found that I'm far more clingy than I've ever been. And right now I just don't like this version of myself all that much. My creativity is suffering. It's getting harder and harder for me to claw and bite out time to pursue the things that help alleviate some of my stress like writing or painting. I know this isn't helpful in the least, but at the same time, I have no energy or drive to get things done like normal. I finally had a weekend off, I went to a seminar Saturday on Tax issues for writer's then slept from 7PM Saturday night to 7AM Sunday morning, and never really got out of bed most of Sunday. Physically, the stress is eating me alive. I've had chronic headaches ( thankfully not migraines) since November. I'm not eating normally, and during the week, most nights I don't really sleep, and can't focus. It's become mandatory for me to address the reasons my stress levels are so crazy lately. So why am I sharing all of this? I'm sharing not for sympathy, but because too often people make light of stress, and what it does or can do to a person. It affects every aspect of your personality, your life, and how you live it, or the quality associated with it. If you know someone who's not quite themselves please talk to them. More maybe going on than you realize, and if you're that person whose carrying around that extra load, don't be afraid to share it.
As a teenager, my mother insisted that if I wanted to keep a horse, I had to learn to rodeo like all the other good little Texas kids. I'm not affected with an ego, quite the contrary, but I was darn good with the horses. What I wasn't good at was mastering my nerves before I had to go in to run barrels and the like. I got all to good at psyching myself out. I'm still very good at it. I had hoped that as I got older, I might grow out of it, but that's not the case. You see, I just submitted my first short story for a contest. It freaked me out a little bit to do it too. I had an "oh hell what have you done" moment after I hit the send key. I thought I might even hurl on my keyboard. But, I took the high road. Instead, I opened up my word document and started to write. Writer's write. If that's what I really want to be "when I grow up" then that's what I too should be doing. After all, I've already hit the magical little send key, what's there to be worried about? If you are reading this, and I hope you are... Please comment your own first submission horror stories. It doesn't have to be a contest, maybe you just finally stepped out of your safety bubble and shared your work with people you didn't know, or perhaps it was people you did. There will be no judgment here, I just hope you know that no matter what stage of your writing journey that you might be in, you are not alone.
Perhaps this rant is a by-product of paying more attention to online markets, or maybe I've just been fat napped by a bunch of aliens and am now paranoid about everything.... Nope, definitely... probably the first one, but I seem to be seeing a lot of ads online for e-books that frankly just look terrible. Now, let me just say if you've written one of these books I apologize now, I don't really mean to offend anyone, but this phenomenon is really bugging me, and in no way shape, or form do I think your book (which I've probably never read) is terrible. You're probably wondering right now why I'm perplexed at seeing terrible sounding books adverted all over the world wide web right? I mean it's definitely not a new thing. So why is it bugging me? Well, we all know that writing tends to trend for what's hot at a given time, or what's not. But lately, my feed seems to be overly clogged with titles that seem to point to mythical creatures like dragons, shifters, vampires, all being alphas and all hunting for a mate. I'm seriously beginning to wonder when I'll see a title involving an alpha zombie, maybe they could call it, A Bone to Pick. It would be a cheesy as hell cover to, and still probably sound more appealing to me than a werewolf biker whose a misunderstood bad boy that just needs his mate. Don't get me wrong, I love a good supernatural tale, or even one involving the before mentioned vampires, zombies, werewolves, or dragons, but it's getting to be a bit too cheesy or maybe just formulaic for my tastes. I think I'll just have to get lost in some Neil Gaiman for a bit.
I have trouble with beginnings. There, I've said it. This statement doesn't just pertain to my writing, but my life in general. I'm generally laid back, but when it comes to beginning something new regardless of what it is, I drag my feet. Eventually, I find that despite my reluctance, it happens anyway, and there was nothing really to drag my feet about, but still. I do. For the purposes of this blog post, though, I'll keep my thoughts (or try to) on writing. That's what you have come to read about, my writing journey, right? Beginnings are hard. They just are, at least for some people. Right now I have three WIPS and I don't like the beginning of two of them, and the third starts with a good old fashioned cliche. I've been thinking about the problem with my openings for two days, and as I thought about the openings, something clicked. Both of the stories that I dislike the openings of are about people that are trying to survive. But there is a difference between survival on a day to day basis, and actual survival (which is way more interesting IMO). Let's face it, most people would rather read a short story about a man dangling over an alligator pit ala Pitfall style, than a guy who's walking home from work trying to keep his head straight enough so that he doesn't give more thought to committing suicide. Personally, I would read both, but the beginnings have to be attention-grabbing in some way to facilitate that. As it stands, both stories openings let the reader down in that regard. How to fix that problem? Well, first... one story at a time. Here is the opening for BreWd, my short story about a man battling inner, and outer demons: Charles walked down Lexington Avenue every evening at exactly five-forty-five. His days were always the same. He left work, walked to the tubes, then rode home. He was caught in a constant loop of monotony. But as he passed the last alleyway before the corner of Thirty-fifth, something sweet smelling, and homey caught his attention, and he paused. Hanging from the corner of the squat brick building, (which tilted to the left and looked more at home in a Tim Burton movie than on Lexington Avenue) hung a sign which read: BreWd Artisinal teas… There are tea shops— then there are tea shops! It's not a terrible opening, but considering it's the third attempt at one, it's not great either. So, how about adding a little more spice to it? The first three sentences really let the rest of the story down. So I'm going to tweak them, how about this: Charles life had become an endless loop of monotony. He couldn't help but think it, even as his expensive leather shoes clunked over another vent grate on Lexington Avenue. I wonder if there really are alligators down there—better yet— I wonder if Nancy would miss me if I were eaten by one? As Charles passed the last alleyway before the corner of Thirty-fifth, something sweet smelling, and homey caught his attention. He paused looking around. Hanging from the corner of the squat brick building, (which tilted to the left and looked more at home in a Tim Burton movie than on Lexington Avenue) hung a sign which read: It's better, but I still have a way to go with this one. Well, I think that's enough sharing for one day. I just thought it might be helpful for others to realize that everyone struggles with their writing. It's a process. Sometimes you get something you really like that works well, and sometimes, you just have to play with it until you are happy, or can't find a better solution, then come back to it later.
Tenderiser, You've inspired me to share one of my better pranks. Let me start by saying if you're squeamish, DO NOT read on. Several years ago, I worked with a woman we'll call Janice. She was very hard to work with, and after a particularly cruel prank she played on me, I decided Janice was fair game. Anytime I felt I could get away with pranking Janice, I did so, and with my bosses wholehearted backing. I haven't pranked anyone since Janice left the office. My story begins with an office call, from the local animal control officer. Periodically we are asked to handle remains for rabies testing, The remains must be prepared and sent off to south Texas where the testing is actually performed. Rabies testing is time sensitive, so when the officer told me he had a bat, that had bitten a cat, I told him to bring it in. The officer brought me a live bat, trapped in a 32oz soda cup from a local convenience store. When he sat the cup down on the countertop, the whole thing began to vibrate, which made it move along the surface like a cellphone that had just gotten a call. It was the most amusing, and disturbing thing I've seen, and since it was a live animal, I couldn't leave it unattended. All I could do was guard the cup and wonder how we were going to perform this procedure without getting bitten in the process. My boss returned and remedied that problem. As we worked on getting the remains ready for shipment, we mused about the fact that Janice missed all the cool stuff (not that euthanizing an animal is cool but, how many times do people bring you bats?) He remarked that he was very grateful she wasn't there because it would've made the process more difficult. In that moment, the little black diabolical light bulb went off in my head. You see, only the head of remains are sent off for testing, and Janice hated all manner of fluffy cute animals such as bunnies, cats, and ferrets. If she had been there her reaction to the bat would've been priceless. And in that moment, I decided priceless was something I very much wanted to see. Since the only reason the bat was sent in for testing was a stupid loophole, my boss gave me the go ahead to put my plan into action. Very carefully, I prepared a box with a thick insulated bag used for remains, then lined that with newspaper. I then pinned the bat, wings spread wide out and headless into the box like a macabre presentation on the Sunday funnies. I then sealed the box, and wrapped the whole thing in some bright paper we had left over from the last staff party, wrote her name on it, and waited for Janice to return from lunch. Unfortunately, I never got to see the look on her face as she opened the box, but the screams and the sound of cardboard flying in her office still make me grin even as I write this.