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  1. The art of lovemaking just £5.99,
    my inbox informed with a delicate chime.
    Spam I thought wearily of the intrusion,
    annoyance at the break of my quiet seclusion

    But as I tapped out a drumbeat replying to others,
    decided I’d chance it once I’d answered my mother.
    Son’s duty done it was time for a look,
    was it pills or a pump or perhaps just a book?

    The mouse glided over, selected its prey,
    a solitary word was simply displayed.
    ‘Connecting…’ was flashing in front of my eyes,
    is this some kind a virus; a Trojan disguised?

    Excitement was building as I thought of my wife,
    tonight she’d experience the time of her life
    Smiling I watched as the answers drew near,
    my scream pierced the silence as the blue screen appeared.