I've found that a lot of the time I read and write to escape my boring loveless life and now, since I've got a serious case of writer's block and read so much my brain hurts, I am once again reminded of how hopelessly lonely I feel.
I have lots of close friends, but I always feel this deep void in my life where my love should fit in. I've never been in a relationship before, so I shouldn't know what I'm missing. But my friends are all dating each other and I watch romantic comedies and I only really read and write books with a romantic element, so ultimately I feel deprived of something vital and important to me.
The worst part is that I see no way out. I have rather high standards, although I'm capable of compromising them down to simply an intellectual equal who isn't completely hideous and has a sense of humor. I don't think it should be hard to find such a girl and yet, in practice, there is no one even remotely my intellectual equal in my immediate area who isn't already in a relationship. It's a hopeless situation.
Ultimately I can't even pursue even shallow friendly relationships with the girls near me because for the most part they're either total morons or completely uninterested in me. It seems every time I find a girl even remotely attractive she get's a boyfriend or goes away too college way up in northern California.
So I'm left alone, sad, and cynical. I doubt there is anything short of a miracle that will remedy the situation. Sorry to unload here, but it feels a little better to write it out and get the thoughts down and out of my head.
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