I`m an asshole. Warning this is mostly incoherent ramblings. Still want to put more polished things here but this is just what it is TIMELINES OF LIFE: BIRTH AND INFANT-HOOD: What it sounds like you`r basic things, expect for the life altering car accident . Some people just need to use there blinkers man. I ended up being a "miracle" child...never liked that term, IDK why it just..no..I just survive. Wasn`t supposed to walk, crawl, talk, and etc but...horses........ Ok I love that joke but needs context...hippo-therapy. The insurance and state wouldn`t actually pay for it because it`s not a proven treatment or at least at the time but I had the good fortune of being born to a horse trainer with a can do attitude. He did it himself, and I probably owe everything to that. My first (unaided) steps was actually something he got to shortly before he died (a day or two before)...the universe is a funny place.... CHILDHOOD: I mean, normal enough I guess played with transformers, grew up on a farm, couldn`t tie my shoes or twist a knob but we got there eventually. Childhood was actually something, grew up in the boondocks on a hobby farm. Backwoods small towns are...something. Wasn`t even a town, not even a burg anymore just a bunch of farms connected by proximity, a church, and a general story. Also had an interesting amount of excons...that clashed great with the holier than all folks. One of the farms was a worm farm that was neat. We had a rather mean and viscous cat (the other cats stole the eggs, he outright attacked the chickens) that ended up becoming a birder for them. A place for everybody you know? Growing up there was something. Got to witness rural society, the way a hierarchy forms out of esstinely nothing a people viy for power in a place that in no way matters. One guy had a life goal to buy up all of the burg...that`s..that`s not much...he`s bankrupt now. The saints and sinners thing was interesting church preaching caring for you`r neighbor but my mother being laughed at for suggesting helping an excon who got hit by a truck even though he was the one who helped us when we needed it. The church folk sleeping around and doing there own seedy shit the only difference was the sinners were more upfront. Group of random strangers rolled in once state up saying they were there to kill a guy. Maybe dry dark humor...but knowing the guy....it`s ok though he ended up in prison again so he was safe. I got to exist in a weird twilight zone between them. Raised up in the church, played with the church kids, and step father even helped build the dam thing and was a deacon. They still declared us "living in sin" and osterchised us. Still told my mother she was to "witchey" to help with Sunday school ...years before she went the new age path..... maybe they could see the future but that`s a little pot kettle then. Growing up "special" and learning to overcome physical problems took a bit but hey....I`m mostly fine now. Can`t drive but that`s the only thing even eating and working out to bulk up and add more muscle. I overcame all of that. No more crash helmets, walkers, braces, physical and occupational therapists, and honestly that`s my biggest accomplishment. Back will probably always ache...it`s bruised but I can live with that. My handwriting's still crap too, partly due to problems with my hands, and the school giving up on teaching me and letting me use a laptop. I mean it was an accommodation and i`m grateful for it, but also, I would`ve liked to work on it more. Granted there methods involved taking the kid with sensory issues among other things and forcibly taping his fingers to the pencil...I didn`t corporate or react great to that. Oh that school was hell, I mean the kids were ok I guess didn`t connect with them at all but I was sheltered, dealing with my own stuff from the car crash issues to a abusive situation at home. That`s not even touching on people shooting are sheep from the road to send a message or hanging a elmo doll in the yard. That`s a whole other story...I loved that Elmo doll though. I never had an Elmo before, I thought it was cool. Kids. Anyways...I didn`t connect with the other kids maybe I didn`t want to but they were nice kinda pity nice but nice. I mean when my problems started getting better and less apparent, and I got held back into a group of kids I hadn`t grown up with....kids started getting mean guess pity was my only shield. No kids were as bad as the school themselves though, gave me so much anxiety dealing with them. Had to tooth and claw for every acomdantoin, tried to keep me from going to the high school because I would get trampled in the halls or some shit. Hint I didn`t....wasn`t there long when mom had a nervous breakdown and I switched to cyber but my two years of junior high and my one semester of high school I never got trampled. HIGH SCHOOL (and bits of middle school and junior high): We actually ended up owning the general store in high school. That was fun....not really ....but bits of it. I still have the pizza tray bout only thing left. Make a mean hot sandwich on it. Step dad quit his job, went out bought a brand new car, drove it off the lot, and came home telling us he wanted to buy the store and he did. None of that was the smartest move. Come to find out later his brain was probably falling apart for a while at that point. It was good we unloaded the farm though, groups of interested parties and an ex wife all wanted it for mineral rights which were supposed to be worth something. They made things hell and sent quite a few messages...that poor sheep.....the exwife set fire to the barn and burnt it to the ground so yeah it was time to go. Thankfully all the animals lived except for two pigs. Sold it to a even bigger mobster than the one trying to get it...who then died at the same time as his uncle leaving it a son whose world and influence was falling apart. Come to find out the farm was worthless, the mineral rights were crap. The son sold it to people who tried to fix it up, then gave up and sold it, and it keeps going in that cycle now. The store was a home at least. Trying to running a store with someone with a brain diesease who`s in denial and doesn`t think he needs help is....no money was made there.... You order ham you get cheese and mayo on beard, and I got snapped at daily for trying to keep that happening. As he got worse mom, had to work to make real money and I had to take care of him...someone who was and had been abusive ...though the only father I ever knew still. The emotions on that were wild. Through in the "was it the real him or his dying brain?" and oh boy it` s a trip. I did it though, when I was there. Lived with other people here and there. When he passed the family were bastards, and emotions were everywhere. Sold the store and bought a home three hours away with insurance money. Mom had kept strong so long she broke when she finally could. She deserved that. PTSD, depression, extreme anxiety, and agoraphobia. Last one not to the can`t leave the house point but for a while...not alone...so I did cyber school, so I could be around and help her. We made a promise to each other and I made one to myself. I wanted to reinvent myself, grab for things. That didn`t happen, I was numb and shut off and my own anxiety and depression got worse. To each other, we were gonna work on our issues and rebuild....for a time we did....until we didn`t.... She didn`t like her diagnosis which is fine there not always right I had one of ADHD, and now it`s high function Autism. However, that was more rooted in her not accepting things didn`t like her medicantoin..fine it doesn`t always work tell the doctor...stops taking it...stops going to the doctor. Starts going down the new age rabbit hole, that somehow turns into right wing conspiracy theories with a new age ancient aliens bent. Instead of mentally ill, people have "low viberatoins" and can fix it by not thinking bad thoughts...that doesn`t work depression gets worse. 2nd suicide attempt comes in. For her....I`ve only had one... falls more into the crap. Anti vaccine, forces me to quit my own therapy, my autism diagnosis is either her fault for getting me vaccinated or mine for "not trying hard enough" which would have my dad ashamed. The not trying thing would apply to my anxiety and everything else as well even to herself...which digs her more into a hole...but trying to pull her out leads to fights outbursts get worst. Destroys her flowerbeds and garden. We still have like three plates because she threw everything around and smashed them all one night...that was almost as terrifying as when she pushed a washing machine down the stairs....(it was set there to get rid of it and got stuck. Hour or more later she got mad and just shoved it....Idk if she knew I was at the bottom or not. I move quick though) I graduate... feeling alone. Met my best friend though hailing from a life that`s simaller but different. Just as much wild shit though, only person I feel like there`s a real connection with. Other good people to, good friends connect with them just not fully, mentors an old doctor turned photographer taught me everything I know about my craft after high school I go from student to his assistant for a bit. Online communities like this. I`m not alone, but the person who made the promise to rebuild with me the person who I`ve gone through hell and back with was always there. Isn`t...not really COLLEGE: HA this ones a joke. Community College because it`s cheap. I don`t even think I had a clear goal in mind I was so numb and shut off and used to just reacting to life. You got a fire for me to put out? Great I can do that. You want me to start a fire? uh uh uh..how? I was told what the next step was and I did it turn out it wasn`t the right step for me. OR not yet, I kinda wanna go back but not...
It`s 12:19 here and i`ve been trying to be asleep by around 1:16 so I will probably be logging off shortly after this and my mind and body are very much ready for bed. This post is gonna be very stream of consciousness no frills. Just with the frequently of which I`ve posted about my life, feeling lost in it. and wanting to get it together, in this blog felt I may as well give a quick short update of things may have seen mentioned elsewhere. Not like it really matters but Things have been going on pretty much the same. Rolling through life haphazardly still feeling mostly unfulfilled you`r normal angstey crap. I was given an opportunity a really great opportunity that kinda fell apart and that sent me spiraling a bit. May have attributed to much hope of a ripple effect to that going well in my mind to the rest of my life that when it failed.. I was crushed. There`s also the fact that that series of events made my anxiety get pretty bad. That however does have a good end where I am currently trying to get back into therapy for that. There`s been many stop starts start stops, really productive moments followed by depressive bouts and lethargy. Been a little rough, but think i`m getting to where I can really start working towards goals. Been trying to plan them out so there as clear as possible while not being to spefic that my mind can get tripped up in the little details. Also trying to not say to much about things in advance just work on what I need to work and let things show for themselves as they come together. For now my goals are the aforementioned therapy, working out/putting on some muscle, better health/nutrition in general, work of some sort, setting a better routine, and just general pulling things together. Also want to work on creative projects and teach myself like coding and better math skills. When I want to achieve certain goals, I can get really anxious over not being productive every second of every day. This made things quite unbearable for me yesterday. Taking a mental health day today, and resting till about four when I started working on things and making pretty good progress helped alot. In both the mental health and proving a point to myself. Been kinda flaky with myself, others, and projects something I want to change as well. Want to post n this blog more. Things with more polish than this will surley have. We shall see.
It`s September...who knew man. This will be mostly just a stream of consciousness ramble of sorts getting some thoughts out there in my lil space here. I`ll make a pillow fort here later. It`s been a bit since i`ve posted anything here or in anywhere for that matter. I went dark to work for the CIA...yeah no. Been watching to much Covert Affairs with that joke. Last thing I put up here I believe was around February. That was an...interesting time.... what would have been my second semester of college had I not dropped out, a relatively fresh new year, my twentieth birthday, a failing job hunt, and the same mental health issues I always deal with had my mindset in a unique place. Fear, guilt, worry, sense of failure, and etc kinda all swirling about. I could deep dive into it but for the most part it was a lot of feeling off course, uncertainty, guilt, and etc from dropping out kinda hitting all at once with becoming a "adult", and feeling defeated from not finding work. My depression and anxiety then had fun with all of that. Though, what`s been going on since February? A lot of the same some of the different. Around February I had the chance to do some video work for the local symphony. That.....didn`t go great. However in a intriguing twist of fate I got invited to be one of there photographers for this concert season. First "gig" in a week or two at a fundraising dinner. Not paid, but still exciting and it`s wonderful experience. Been having a lot of opportunity like that recently, mostly what the summer was made up of. Helping with a youth program at a local gym, taking photos for non profits, volunteering at a community art center, and etc. It`s been good very fulfilling, I like to get out in the community, and network with people. It`s good emotionally and mentally to get out and do something and my hope is the experience looks good on application to make up for a lack of work experience. That hasn`t been seen. A lot of jobs I thought where good bets...weren`t. As much as I love (and I do) my work in the community I need something that can sustain me and soon. This summer I also did a lot of thinking, reflecting, and working on my mental health. I`m not gonna delve into all of that here, but it did lead me to a conclusion on what I have to do, or at least want to do. Build and learn. I need to start being proactive and start trying to build up certain aspects of my life. It`s good to find yourself but sometimes you just have to build yourself. I want to start building and learning. By learning I mean taking opportunity to gain more experience, learn spefic things. Learning in`t restricted to a school environment or academic subjects one should always be learning. Learning and building, and I do think I am fortunate to have a lot of good mentor type figures around me. Ok that`s my overall goal, now let`s fine tune to Sept goals. Laying that foundation, starting mostly. As well as working on photography projects I`ve been putting off. The weekend before labor day was a local festival that I spent the week before labor day helping with. So this past week was "recovery" resting and catching up on side projects and things around the house I let slid. This week I hope to get some balls rolling. Still having some trouble finding my get up and go/motivation. It`s coming though I have things in the works. Welp that`s my ramble. I`ll meet you again here real soon to rant about the letter S...you`ll see.
Look, guys, I can use random internet quotes. This is gonna more reflective rambling and goal setting. Nothing special, just something I`m writing down in my little space here. So some might recall my post from the first of January, and yeah January wasn`t as productive as I had been thinking but that may have been unrealistic thinking. My mind tends to gloss over baby steps. However, it did involve time spent on reflection and basic goal setting. Coming out of school (both high school and my short-lived college run) i`m stepping into a new phase of my life here and hope to slowly work towards some goals of that in February. I`m planning something for the summer, and I have decided to do something I had been really thinking about for a long time. I had considered skipping college or doing this before college but I felt kinda steered into the college right out of high school route which kinda crashed and burned. I`m going back to my original plan and gonna start the process of applying for Americorps which is a government set up volunteering program. It`s described as a domestic peace corps. It`s something i`ve always looked really hard at, and I feel like it`s a chance to get out there have new experiences all that early 20`s stuff but also actually doing something. In college I felt like I wasn`t actually doing anything like it wasn`t amounting to anything especially with me not having a plan, if winds blow right and I have resources in the future I might go back if I find a plan but for now I feel like this something where I`m working towards helping people helping a community is better for me atm. There`s also an education award at the end, and obviously, it`s not the only reason i`m doing it as I see this as more then that but as i`m not sure yet what my situatoin is with (even the small amount) of student loans I had that could help as well. I`ll post more in detail on all of that later possibly, of course, this isn`t guaranteed. Applying doesn`t mean I`ll be selected, and there`s also waiting lists so I`m looking at other things as well but that`s my main priority goal. Of course applying for Americorps is a process and it`ll be a bit, and my other plans are the summer so, in addition to working towards those goals, I`ve been trying to figure out what I want to do in this stretch of my life where I`m kinda waiting for things to be in motion. I want to get back into stuff in the community and things I used to be a part before I fell away due to various reasons. I`ll still be applying for jobs as in normal jobs, but in the meantime, i`ve been considering see what I could get with freelancing on the side. Of course, freelancing writing is a part of that and probably what I`ll talk about most on this blog past this post as its a writing forum. However, that`s also referring to my photography and videography in various ways. My photography teacher of sorts and someone whos been my mentor in many ways for a good few years and has a lot of connections different places got me the opportunity to do some work with the local symphony. Taking some video of speakers at a fundraising event to put on their website, some people playing to put on youtube, and a quick little video ad of sorts which I think is meant for social media. All in one day and it was nice, a days work, good experience, and working with some really great and talented people. Put some cash in my pocket, not much but the experience alone is good enough and it`s good for a resume or to show past work. It`s exciting thinking of doing that also intamediting figuring out where to start climbing but I do have resources. On the writing front theres siste has a few good ones. As for my fictoin, I feel bad that got knocked to the way by stress, depressoin, and other thigs. Try to get that back, probabbly brush dust off a few old things I have in my docs,just to get back in the saddle. First how many words are practice, so better get those words down. I`ll try and update this even if I do cut it back to just writing stuff. Here I go one step at a time.
Last night I posted up a bunch of old outlines files on my blog, I found this while going through them. Can`t remember exactly what this was made for. I`ve taken one or two art history classes so maybe its linked. Thats not to say I'm posting it as schoolwork or anything such thing. (all my schooling is done for now). Just a quirky thing that I`m putting here just because. TSTTS Talk show through time and space. Hello, and welcome to all members of are transtime audience. Today we are sitting down with Leonardo Decaprio, one of my favorite ac….wait what? Davinci? Meh, he`s alright too...I guess. Give a warm time traveler welcome to the first true renaissance man and one of the era`s master painters… LEONARDO DA VINCI! Leo: I'm not sure what I'm doing he..what interesting contraptions. Host: Just pretend they aren't there, ok? So Leonardo, what's it like being a ninja turtle? Leo: I have absolutely no ide… Host: Never Mind, so can you tell us about your most recent work. Leo: Hmm, I suppose so. I'm currently doing a portrait for Francesco del Giocondo of his wife. Nothing special really. Host: You mean? ..you're talking about...the Mona Lisa? Leo:Mona Lisa? So you are familiar with Lisa del Giocondo? What an interesting model, if I do say. Host: You have no idea. Leo: Can I leave? I must really return to my… Host: Da vinci, that means of Vinci yes? Leo: Well, yes but I hardly see why`d you Host: Your parents are rather interesting. Out of wedlock you were… Leo: I will not be, insulted on the status of my conception! Host: I didn`t mean….well I suppose it is more taboo at this time then Leo: This time? Host: Uhh nevermind, did you bring one of the notebooks? Leo: I have one on me but I...HEY!” Host: Quite fanscastinating. A merger of science and art. Ideas before his time. Anatomy, flying machines, tanks, the Viturain man, a fetus, and Leo: How dare you! Give me that. Host: Sorry, but can you tell us about your investigations and studies? Leo: Sigh, I simply make observations on the world around me. Host: It`s more than that surely. Leo: If I see a phenom I try to understand it, by observing it and detailing it. Host: Fascinating, can you tell us about your artwork now. Leo: Hmm since you seem so intrigued I suppose. Host: Great, now your earliest, work is the baptism of the Christ correct? Leo: Ah yes, I worked on that one with a mentor of sorts Verrocchio. It depicts the baptism of christ by John the Baptist. I mostly did the angels truly. Host: What about the last supper? Leo: Huh? I just had supper? Host: No the.. Leo: I know what you meant. That was painted for the refectory of the convent of Sanata Maria. Host: My notes show, that you were more of a draftsman then a painter in terms of being prolific. Leo: Records? Host: Tell us of your drawings. LEo: Mainly sketches and things that catch my fancy or my ideas. Host: Thank you for your time Leo. We'll see you again, in the sewers of New York! Leo: What are you ta.. Host: Goodbye *shoves out the door* Next, on TSTTS we`ll have mister Edger Allen Poe! Not a light-hearted interview, for sure.
Germanic story Outline: Nomadic tribal people, inhospitable land, dangerous creatures, hunter of sorts, big bird monster, mountain territorial bird. Germanic tribes inspiration. Yuroga Yugslav Yugava Y something dies at the end Show the land, world build create a dangerous environment where man is not dominant. Get into Yugslovs head show his dreams, memories, superstitions, how he feels of his lot in life, why he accepts his death at the end. Research germanic tribes and monsters- rough draft-self edit and rewrite-hemmingway--new file-betas-rewrite-edit/betas-format-submit-if rejected rewrite-resend. Young men for whom warrior the only path sent out to die, more honor in death then in life, poet not solider. RESEARCH Beowulf, The wItcher, Conan, writing inspirations. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_English_metre Old English metre for inner thoughts and poetry. Base traditions and culture on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germanic_peoples https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Saxons https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbarian https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_kennings https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_English_metre Read “The Wanderer,” “The Battle of Maldon” and “Caedmon’s Hymn” Monsters and creatures Need a swamp scene, and mountains just cause. Big bird thing, maybe have it away from it`s nest, crazed. Honor to die in battle, almost god like status Tentacle things cuase Mention Trolls and giants as boogyymen Sea serpents and dragons ................................ Volgar`s tale. Possible titles: Are hero's of heart and stone, Man among dwarves, Battle Smith, Roland`s men SETTING: Content of Elvenisa (Elven-vi-sa), fantasy setting, settled more than it used to be but plenty of woodlands, power is loose, Backdrop mainly Kadarvia: A Dwarven city-state, mainly underground with slight overtop development. More modern than some sister cities, but still traditionist in a way. Uses both a mixture of mechanism and smithing. Ruled by a nobles council with other class representation, loose cast system. Races in this world: Dwarves: Descendants of barbarian tribes that come through the mountain range. Live mostly in various city-states, varying in beliefs. Elves: Natives, nature-based religion, migratory, archers for hunting, most relocated small force remain as guerilla fighters to reclaim their homeland by burning caravans and inhabiting their woodlands. Half-Elves: Halfies, killed brutally by the guerrilla elves, and mostly shunned by most of the others though a few will take them in if they swear off their human half. Humans, segregate them and keep them mostly in low-level jobs. Dwarves are mostly indifferent, though they generally don't like outsiders other than the smith castes who commonly take on outside apprentices. Humans: Human, migrated from (insert name) Loosely separated by kingdoms and baronies, lot of unclaimed lands ripe with outskirt villages and bandit camps. MAGIC AND BELIEFS: Still working out a magic system and if there should be one at all. I like the idea of energy transference, and spirits and have contemplated a witch character as Durans wife. Dwarves: Varying customs throughout city-states, mostly not very religious, big users of enchantment and rune smithing but typically don't use magic much. Elves: Druid type nature-based magic, alchemy type accelerants for the guerillas, druid type nature-based beliefs. Humans: Not sure on faith, magic wise witches and mages are out there with alchemists and the ilk. Still working here. POLITICS Dwarves: Varying city-states, the one that the story will focus on is run by a council with mainly noble upper class voices a few craftsmen class members sit on the council as well. Elves: Guerilla camps freedom fighters Humans: Split up into kingdoms and baronies with vague borders CAST Volgar Dimer-Battle smith, raised by blacksmiths, studied under dwarves, indentured servant in a mine, merc, Roland-Merc leader former commander of the king's guard, cambion maybe, Duran-Merc, dwarve from Kukukhan, a more trandtilist military city-state, he was a military officer who was shunned out by rivals, due to murdering a noble. Gianish-A witch Durans wife works in ancient magic and old spirits, very destructive, and callus. Stein-Big guy with sword, not really a char but he`s gonna be background muscle in a lot of scenes. Tinker need a name- tinker travels with them, gets leg cut off Theron- Half elf, raised by Roland in the merc camp, scout, crossbow, plays an drum Wardens-Police force want to execute Roland, kill him Jonas Dimeris- Volgars father, Smith, drunk, send volgar off, is murdered due to ties to dwarven politics. Endrin-High smith Dwarve, helps Volgar out Unnamed high-class dwarve- Xenophobic scapegoats Volgars affairs with a dwarven woman to feed his political flames. Unnamed dwarven crime lord- Gets Volgar out of the crossfires by signing him to work in his mines as a guard for the next 20 years of his life, if he rebels he gets put on the lines mining with the slaves. PLOT Fantasy backdrop, tells Volgar`s life char driven sword and sorcery, Volgar studies with dwarves, sleeps with a married dwarven woman during a time when xenophobic policies are high, and while no politicians are vying for his death fanatics are mobbing for it. Smuggled out by a crime lord who assigns him as a guard in a slave mine, Roland's men are hired to shut down the mine, volgar lights fire to it joins Roland's Men, Char building during this time, Roland is killed, Duran takes charge starts doing rather barbaric things, Volgar fights against him, last scene is his death. MEANING MESSAGE PURPOSE To write a good story, touch on xenophobic, rhetoric getting out of hand, pose a question about the futility of standing up with Volgar`s death. Telling a good story is always the goal, what reflects reflects Will it work? We`ll see. ............................ Romdom`s tale Exposition: Bartholomew, that`s what the empire had taken to calling the large mass of land once ruled by feuding barons and ever-shifting borders. The Galolinic Empire had found a land fraught with peril and strife and had set out to soothe its pain. Or so that's what any good Imperial will tell you of the not so distant days of the conquest. While nationalistic feelings may still yet linger they made quick work of establishing order and law under their rule. Char background: A symbol of this that they so loved to tout was Romington Von Domernis, the native who took up their banner. He wasn't the only one but he was more than a mere soldier. A once-prominent man turned sellsword he found himself quickly rising through the ranks until by the end of it all he was decorated and working special assignments. The operations he partook in were critical in the tide of the war. He then found himself at the forefront of establishing order. While crushing nationalist uprising was a part of this he did more, he appealed to people, negoteid, did all that his father taught him. While before they had seen only those in their borders as kin with the outside rule Romdom was seen as kin...if a traitorous one. Yet they listened. this increased his value a thousand times over, he became a high officer at a young stage in his career, changing postings as needed, just breathing was useful enough. Now, however, the person that was being groomed for greatness, rests in chains for treason. Story start Somewhere somehow he found himself in a room with terrorists and was captured as the others scattered. Kept quiet only few knew of this, one such man was Julis Vangrive an inquisitor. Brought in with the Empires seal and viceroys wright he had full control, and had his mind made mostly up only one thing remained...speak to him. There was no saving the man from the blade but if he could be leveraged...than they could find the others. A family man had more than enough to leverage after all...so this is our tale. Main half The traitor was kept in the bowels of an imperial prison, watched over by a war-hardened warden keeping the man's old superiors at bay in case they were to tamper. Only the inquisitor was allowed in his chambers, other than when the warden brought him meals which were only enough to keep him enough to divulge intel. The Inquisition had been efinctint, combing through Romdoms life and career gathering every bit of the man they could. Now the inquisitor walked down the cold stone steps, down to the cell block where the despicable specimen was half starved and bound to the wall in chains. Romdom starred as the door swung open and Julis stepped inside. Prisons were dark places, but a torch was carried and illuminated the room when pyres were lit. Paper, that`s what Julis had much of it a file of sorts. He began to pace back and forth speaking with a confidence detailing Romdom`s life and what he had done. Romdom retorted and they went back and forth. Things got physical, Romdom`s account was shoved off. Romdom told of a tale of corruption, and officers who were forced into treason by corrupted officials. Last half Romdom recounts his tale, and there is some more dialogue until romdom pleads to have his claims looked into. Inquisition ends, the cell is found all killed claims not brought up.
It`s the first day of 2018...whhoo? I spent the time before midnight listening to Bob Marely hoping "Everything will be alright" would seep into my new year. I was talking to someone at the time to, I had mentioned to them something that occurred to me. Does the new year mean anything? Time is a concept in a sense. I mean sure it exists things age and decompose, the sun rises and sets, seasons change, and mountains erode. Natural signs of time passing. However, the way we measure it is pulled out of our own ass. Hours and days, are human constructs that everyone just agreed upon at some point. Months have been added to the calendar moving newyears. If the marker of a new year can be moved does it have any real meaning? Outside of time measurements, what does one gain from the New Year? A fresh start, new year new me? I like the idea, hell I`m trying that somewhat this year as well which I elaborate on below but really how long do those resoulantoins last? They don`t, mostly because they're made out of a sense of obligation than any real desire or crisis to change. Change requires a push many cases and New Years is a backdrop, not a push. I don`t know really, those are just musings I`ve had and like New Years they really don`t amount to anything. I find myself in an odd place going into 2018. Graduating High school I did as was expected and went to college...and dropped out after one semester. I`m not going into the reasons for this now maybe some other blog post but this January would have been my second semester. Now I`m just here twisting in the wind. I planned to be in school at this point, so I`m here without a plan trying to get a job and having no real idea where I`ll end up. That makes me uneasy and setting it on the backdrop of New Years....it`s..something. During my life a lot has been going on around me. I grew up in a lot of conflicts, a lot of chaos, and taking care of a lot of people. I was always just reacting to what was clattering about around me, doing as expected, taking care of what clearly needed to be done. Now I`m not where I need to react I`m where I need to do and I`m not sure I know how to do that. I do plan to try this month and this year. Get a job, step my foot out there hope I don`t fall down. I will be using this blog more, this year as well. Wanted to get something up today and this is really nothing more than loose thoughts but it`s there.
Joe Welsh-false name, (Real name Mal Fisher) smuggler, running from something, captain of a falling apart drift ship. Skilled in smuggling trade, logistics, dealing with buyers. Parinoad, flighty, doesn't like to stay in one place too long. Brawler, good shot with a laser pistol. Cares for his crew though he'll never admit it, problem solver. Theo Hispin-False name (Real name, Ed Malroy), military and paramilitary training. Combat, electrician, combat medic, tactile and armoury experience. Carries a thermal sequencer, a device that sequences thermal energy to inputed degrees. Mainly used to cauterise wounds, start fires, keep warm in low temp environments, and as a weapon in emergency situations. Carries lazer pistols, best gun slinger on the crew. Pre existing relationship with the captain. On the run Charles Monroe-Scrapper, scavenger, and ship thief who found himself piloting a hunk of junk drift ship. Pilots the ship, helps interchange the parts, runs any salvage ops, and keeps the ship's security systems updated. NOt used to direct combat, sorts through scrap yards. Riden Peirce- Engineer doing repairs at a low level trade port wanted something better found himself on a drift sihp Keeps the engines running and the ship from falling apart, .tinkers with tech, designs booby traps, picked up a few things living at a trade port and helps with negotiations. Is a licensed merchant due to having operated a repair station, his license is low level so doesn`tt open many doors but it opens more than they would without. Sarah Mintgomery-Disgraced systems and communication tech. Keeps the ship's systems, scanners, and comm network running as well as she can with the lackluster equipment she has. Hacks into others networks, uses hi tech gadgets to help them out, and helps keep them hidden Drifters- Term for people that leave everything behind to drift through space on run down cheap ships taking odd jobs. People either running from something, refuges, ex cons, or those so fed up with life. The term technically applies to anyone who moves through space without a specific goal, plan or job but that's the standard profile and public perception. Drift ships-Term originally used to describe ships used by drifters, or ships drifting about with no real target location, but has come to be synonymous with rundown barely functioning ships uslay envisioned in the public eye to full of smugglers hide aways and illegal brands of gin. Credit packs:Usb drive type things hold electronic currency, Targoon and the settlement- Targoon is a unregulated planet in the 12th quadrant. Lawless lands made up of settlements, desserts, and warlord camps. The settlement they are in is ran by Baron Niverous more of a crime lord then a baron. The settlement is made up of one small makeshift space port, a canteen that double`s as offices, a scrap market (the barons good stocks are for high bidders only) and homes for the few that actually live there. The place is filled mostly with smugglers, scrappers and the few poor souls unlucky enough to live on this planet fleeing a warlord's wrath. Gargon-An unregulated dwarf planet famous for both it`s constant gang wars and for boasting a very esttincve and infamous black market bazaar. A dangerous planet where violence can break out easily but if you play it right a illegitimate fourante can be made buying and selling goods or by picking up jobs offered by the planets various contacts. Quadrants- Certain areas of space are split into quadrants on a numbered and occasionally alphabetic system. Control of quadrants is left to those powerful enough to exercise it and legitimate enough to be recognised for it. This control is control is mostly made up of governments and corporations sometimes combinations of the two. Unregulated- Term used to describe planets and space that aren`t under any main authority or control. While some hold these areas as the last bastion of independence, they are mostly known as hotbeds for criminal and illegitimate activity. These areas are also known as drift space by some due to the large amount of their residents fitting the common perception of a drifter. The Black Hawks-A paramilitary group, and security firm with a large reputation and friends in high places. Most governments and corruptions have dealings with them one ay or another making them a highly powerful organisation. The white Falcons- Private intelligence, investigation, surveillance, and security firm. Not much is known about them other than their elusive nature and there exclusive client list. The Dragon- A alleged intergalactic crime lord, believed to run a large and complex ring of smugglers and slavers. Most belive him to be a myth, set up to mask the real kingpins behind a legend. Royaldale Intergalactic- A large and influential shipping and export company ran by a rather wealthy family. Cargo Haulers-Large, ships designed to hold and transport large and heavy hauls of cargo. There carrying weight makes them slower than other ships There specialized designs makes up for their lower speed by allowing them to hold more raw weight and by allowing for specialised security functions to ward off pirates. Argo world- Slang term for planets and colonies set up for mostly farming and agriculture production. Utopian worlds- Large mega cities on high traffic planets that are portrayed as glamorous cities of wealth and splendor though there slums and underbellies are mostly ignored in these tellings of gold skies and roads of silver.
Tried to do a poetic phoenix thing with the title and it came out kinda meh. So it`s a new year as I assume most of you know. Seems like this last year want by quite fast, and it`ll be interesting to see what the next year has in store both globally and in my own life. This post isn't really anything just gonna reflect a bit and ramble on about plans. I posted in my progress journal today talking about my writing plans for the new year. I`m keeping it to small projects for now, since between graduation upcoming and transitioning to college not I`ll have the time to devote to larger projects atm. I mentioned in the journal about a old historical fiction contest I won in the past. I suppose you could say my New Years resolution is to get back to the version of myself that was able to at least attempt something like, rather then the one who slacks off and sits around in self pity. I`ve been considering the projects to start this upcoming year with. Writing wise I have a editorial type thing and a short story using a cast I`ve had in my back pocket for a bit. I`ve had the idea for a crew of drifters taking odd jobs that would fit into a firefly style world for a while now. I need to figure out a plot line to put them in but I have the cast and the main ideas of the world set up so we`ll see what comes of that. The editorial project is something that's been on my mind for a bit. As someone who`s went through the US special education system as a student and who has spoken to various people on both sides of the system and I just want to write something up about what I view as flaws in how we handle special education and how kids are falling through the crack. I also may be betaing for some people. Outside of writing, I think i`ll stick to where I`m at in terms of my photography not really taking on any new projects though I do have a new set of old trolley car photos that I may try to get put up somewhere, probably the same gallery I had stuff in before though there is a few coffee shops and restaurants that hang local art but I don`t know if they`d really fit. Outside of photography, a friend of mine are considering dabbling in the youtube realm so we`ll see how that goes. As far as this blog itself goes, I've never really known what to do with this though I may use this space for some writing prompts of sorts to keep the cob webs out. May type something up, next week or so. This upcoming year should be interesting with a lot of personnel changes in the later half of it, here`s to making this New Year a good one. Kinda rambled on there for a bit.
My muse, she is dead. I sit here, staring blankly as the blank screen stares back at me. My mind so cluttered with thoughts of blogs and tales that will never be, so deafening that I did not hear the wailing dying screams. A blade of lethargy piercing a long idle chest. Drip, drip, drip creativity bleeds out and falls away from me. Arms once lively and dynamic fall limp as the body grows pale. A light of energy and intuginty slowly fades from her eyes My muse, she is dead Slain by my own idleness . . . . . Well I ran out of ideas so decided to just type and see what came out....and apparently this came is what came out....not sure how to feel about that.
So Oscar`s been wanting me to do one of these blog things, and recently during a camp Nanowrimo write in, the point or reason for writing came up and thus inspired what you're reading now. What is the point? We have probably heard and even said that question many times. As writers, we have probably applied that question to are works many,many times. What is the point to what we are writing? Why I'm I writing this? This then leads to, should I write this? With the millions of books on the shelves, or whatever medium you write for is this worth it? What point do you want to make? You are the writer, the story will take it`s lead from you even if it does run away on it`s own in some parts that`s still spawning from something inside you. Something I heard during the write in was that the point should always be to write a great story. I find myself agreeing with this, even if you intended to make a specific point telling a great tale should still be the purpose assuming you`re writing fiction. Look at C.S Lewis who is best known for a little place past the wardrobe. The Chronicles of Narnia had religious imagery and had a very religious point, even down to a certain talking lion telling the children to discover his counterpart in their world. Even with that message in the background they still tell pretty great stories. What if we were to flip this. You can write a story with a specific message and still have it be a great story but what if you just have an idea for a great story and not a real message you want to shoehorn in. Yes, writing is a form of entertainment you don`t always need one huge message to tell a lovely tale. I`ve been working on a fanstey novel, and it started with a idea for a character that spun into a story. As I wrote I was writing a tale yes but looking back to where ti was going there were parts were there were hints, of anti-xenophobic message, and th end kinda raises the questions of how far one should go for moral reasons. It kinda weaseled it`s way in there. That may all be word vomit up above, not sure. My main point is in the end, the point should alway's be to tell a great story. If you have a message you want to get out to the people embed in a great tale they won`t ever forget, and if you merely wish to weave a tale weave and see where it takes you. After all is telling a great story not the point of fiction in the first place?