lets look at being wordy, man I'm addicted to blogging, someone should ban me from it. Anyhow. What is being wordy? look at the sentence below
Johnny hadn't been a good boy, in fact just this morning he had broken all his toys.
So what can you see? are there words that don't belong? maybe there is a way to make the sentence flow much better. Such as...
Johnny had been bad. (you're showing the start of the sentence instantly no dilly dally, shilly shally. It's a fact and is plan as day to see.) just this morning he had broken his toys.
You don't need words like, such as, in fact and but. These words just drag the sentence out. At times they confuse your reader. When you think you've found a sentence with problems like theses in your work read it aloud to yourself. Even to someone else who may pick up the problems. Sometimes one word can replace two. But don't let it lead to the dreaded adverb. here is an example.
Sally ran quickly, they were gaining on her.
Instead of using ran quickly. Find another word. Dashed, sprinted, hurried. They all explain the same scenario in less words and far more effectively.
Another common mistake is saying dashed Quickly. By dashing we've already established that the character is in a hurry no need for quickly.
Remember to always reread what you've written and be aware of wordiness and adverbs.
Well I guess there are other things I should tell my blog. So here I go again talking about myself, he, he. Is it just me or is my head getting bigger. Well now a lot of you don't really know what my game is in the writing forums. What I like is fantasy and scifi. I enjoy writing and have done since I was 14 writing joint stories with my pal DBZ. I started off writing a vampire series. Then learnt my own passion for Nearover (I'll share more later). I'm also a manga artist. Basically my endeavour in the writing world is to make my mark with Tokyo pop with my own manga character designs and story by moi. I'm building an interesting character portfolio pack with characters to join in on my manga world nearover. I draw most days I'm training myself to be a good artist I hope I get there some day.
Hello people who will probably not read this, he, he. I'm nothing special just a member I actually don't even consider myself a senior member and since reviewing seems to be the special topic for now I'm going to talk about it too. I'm not much of a grammatically correct person. My comma's and what not don't always go in the right place. But I can still offer an okay critic. My speciality, reader, protag connection and wordiness. I like to give a pretty thorough critic. My fav hang outs on the WF site are the rpg thread and the poetry thread.
Separate names with a comma.