at what point do you let go of hopes and dreams?? I have recently felt like I need to let go and let be, or god, idk yet. lol so super shocker, im drunk again, I don't care. any how, I am slowly learning at my late age of 28 to let go of things such as shirts, hoodies and ideas. I know some may really understand where it is im coming from and the rest of you may have no idea what im whisk eying about lol.
Is that even how you spell perception? To be completely honest I have not idea but I am going to just roll with it. some of you may have already guessed. I've been drinking again, surprise!! but to be honest you all are the ones who get the benefits of it right? or instead I am just the butt end of a really dumb joke that I have not clue of. Any ways, to my point of these here blog, understanding perception. I just realized right now the amount of grammatical errors I have made, but don't care to fix! any ways, let me tell you a truth, 100% I got accepted to 15 of the 16 colleges I applied too. the only one I did not get into was MIT. now saying that most people who may not know me well may think I am a smart person, did great in school, A and B plus person. wrong!!! I got into very low grade state and tech schools. let me give you another one, I drive 5 cars, AHHHH I must be very well off financially correct? no, not correct. one doesn't run, one does, one is my brothers, and 2 are company vehicles because I work two jobs each with a vehicle for field work. lol I had be thinking of this big huge blog post that would get some views and I totally forgot where the h e l l l h l I was going with it lol
I've got a few things that I am working on. id like help with picking which one to spend my time on because splitting the time evenly is not really helping me much. 1 A car crew who helps solve crime? basically they are everything most gangs are but they do assist the cops here and there to take down other gangs. 2 A young couple making millions, but not "technically" illegally. 3 An amateur photographer who may have taken photos of a crime, but did not know it, but also was involved.
As to my last entry, I do enjoy a few drinks before setting down on the deck or in the office to write down whatever may be on my mind at the time. I have been pondering about doing a weekly blog series. My idea is simple, I will pick a new bar every week and a new drink every week and review them both in my mixture of whatever form of writing I do that night. Kind of a loose Idea.
ok so if you have not figured it out yet, I am a drinking blogger. yeah so like adrunk rant going on her. no its not very grammer polite but my main reasoi nhere is to get ideas and thoughts off of my chest and why not rock out ith my sock on?!? ok lol in all realness. I am in fact drunk but I have turn auto spelling on. wait what?
Let me start by explaining that this topic started with a group of friends late night at the bar having this conversation. What is the difference between the two? Now I am obviously not asking for text book definition. Instead I am curious to know what the general public think?!? I will give my answer and reasonings after a few comments!!
I would like to take this time and apologize in advance for the drunkish rambling you are about to read! What In The Absolute Hell Have I Been Doing!?! What do I need to do? What can I do to make everyone happy? When can I been self-centered and work on my own damn problems When will I get my big chance? When will the whiskey stop going down like water? yeah I know, I sound like a cry baby right now. its cool. I just need to feel like I let off steam. work has been slammed with the "hurry up and wait" scheme going on. just nothing is really turning the way it should. and you know what really gets to me? the fact that you can do everything right and it still does not help with shit!!!! it means nothing!!! why are we all trying to save and have our lives set??? and by lives I mean when we are 65 years old!!!! I want to have fun now! I want to dream now!! I have watched my life go from glam to bland in over the last year. im not dumb, I know what happened. but shit bucket!!!!! I tried planning ahead has much as possible, and I truly thought I was going to be the one to do it.... turns out, aint nothing but chump!! its been real, but im signing off here. im done dream chasing, im done believing ill have a chance. im done being anything other than a 40 hour MF!!!!!! peace and love, to anyone else.
Recently I have been trying to cut out some bad habits of mine. id say so far 80% going well. the hardest for me is smoke and drink. they just go together for me. I don't know why. anyways, what's your vice?
There is so much going on in life right now that I have no idea what I need to do and in what order! Work is going great, got a promotion and a company take home vehicle, that helps a lot with the personal budget. Other than that, I haven’t felt like anything has really changed at work. I still enjoy my job and it pays well. I bartend on some weekends to bring in that small extra cash that used to go towards my hobbies. That brings me to the next thing, all my hobbies have either gotten way to expensive to continue doing or have come to a halt that I have not been able to get past in well over 3 months, I just keep starting new projects in hopes that it will provide answers for the others. An endless, helpless cycle. Days go in, nights come out. I also have been trying to reach out to others for help and advice and collaborations on other projects. But no one has the time or the money anymore. I feel like I am 4-5 years behind where I should have been.
to be honest, I feel like you have until the age of 25 to reach your prime of the most glorious dreams you cn have. now I am not saying it is completely impossible to achieve such greatness after the fact, but none the less much harder to reach said goal. once you hit 25 you really start to just settle for such things as of life partner and job and hobbies.
Where will I go from here? Life 15 years ago seemed complicated yet very simple compared to now. Things were different in the world of someone who had friends by the tens and a truck with a license. At what point did we stop dreaming of bigger things and start to settle in our day by day routine? Every day used to present new opportunities and new challenges. We had 24 hours of the day and we didn’t need sleep and we didn’t need to plan our whole week or month out. We had a drive, we had ambition, we wanted to go full speed ahead with out a care in the world. Our dreams we had then or back to being wishes we have now. When did we all stop having fun and start having to survive?