When you land the well-paid job. Everything changes. You buy the more expensive T-shirt, join the more upmarket gym, upgrade your private health insurance. You even start thinking about acquiring some real-estate. "Just how much can I set aside each month?" I know when I am in a low-paid job, my thinking becomes very short-term. How can I survive this week? Which bills are non-urgent and can be postponed? What food is discounted at the supermarket? What pleasure has to go? Haagen Daaz ice-cream? unless its on special. It is worse for homeless. More like day to day. It frightens them to even think where they'll be in 1, 2 5 or even 10 years from now. Better to just put that thinking to bed. Scary stuff. How can I survive today? What interesting food can I score for free? Which charity is offering free lunch? Maybe I can score a drug to put me out of my misery for 12 hours. I wonder how tough I would be if forced to be homeless. Apart from cold nights outside, whatabout the fear of being attacked? That is quite real. im such a wimp, the thought of brushing my teeth in a public toilet is enough to motivate me to at least maintain the level of poverty I have now. The stigma of smelling bad. The discomfort of being uncomfortable all the time. Wearing the same clothes every day. No on should criticise the homeless until they've tried it themselves.
Thank God it's Good Friday! I have an excuse to go for broke here on the Christian message. No pain no gain. No guts no glory. I think you can apply this message to writers. The pain of editing and listening to criticism and rewriting can lead to the happy day of your book being published. The classic story of love and sacrifice which Jordan Peterson mined for many of his talks. I might go to Mass today. 3pm. it will be sombre. It will be grim. But I feel an obligation to go. The Christian message is about obedience. But if our relationship with JC is strong , it will be much more than that. Lord have mercy.
Im not one of those people who worship the sun. They gotta have it sunny, sunny, sunny. Because it makes them cheerful cheerful cheerful! Ive been in floods too. Too much rain is bad as well. You can get sick of cloudy weather too. But my city don't get much rain. Today is the first rain we received for 3 months. Its gentle too. Drizzle. No storms and gale force winds to accompany. On a day like this, I feel more content. I don't feel guilty for feeling reflective. I don't have to solve practical problems. I have an excuse to be dark. My dark mind blends in with the dark weather. Rain can feel like the soul is being gently massaged. "Its ok paper. You don't have to be so cheerful. Depressing is fine." But when the sun comes out again, its like the mind starts racing "oh I gotta make the most of the day. gotta get outside and feel that sunshine." I was born for bad weather.
Jordan Peterson says life is all about suffering. We shouldnt be aiming for happiness. Well thats how i interpreted it. He says we should be striving for constant growth. Be responsible! ible..ible ... ible.. its ringing in my ear be responsible....... no... i dont need to hear that message right now..... I am aiming for happiness today. Guitar and sports day.. maybe a beer or two......put responsibility in the freezer for a while. Let it chill.
This one might make you laugh. Or be disgusted and appalled. My non-Christian wife was in the latter group. I visited a GP a few days ago. I just choose random ones as there is no cost to see one if you have a medicare card in some places. I wanted more prescriptions for blood pressure medicine. She took my blood pressure. I gasped anxiously when I saw the "160" result. She immediately told me to stop being so anxious and not worry about the score. Then proceeded to take my blood pressure again, stressing that I calm down and imagine a nice quiet beach. Relax. relax. Result this time? 141. Yeah I was pleasantly surprised too. Amazing how much difference there can be by just focussing on relaxation. But then she started. "Look what I do is hand all my anxiety to Jesus. if I cant handle it, I just pass it on to him. No need to for you to fuss and fret. Give it all over to the Lord. Did you know I give lots of money to my local priest? And guess what? The Lord keeps on making miracles in my life. I have 35 so far. 35! Im gonna write a book one day. All those pills people take for anxiety is a waste of time. Just hand it all over to the Lord. And your worries will vanish! But you gotta either give money or service to the poor. Thats' what He wants. We cant expect something for nothing. Hope you don't think Im giving you a sermon here sir?" paperbackwriter: Don't worry you're preaching to the converted. Doctor: (proceeds to talk about some miracles including her sons career as a Doctor too) Im thinking to myself...'what about my blood pressure medicine?" She finally delivered on that. I was partly in need of the spiritual guidance, funnily enough. But it occurred to me that some patients would definitely complain if they got such a "sermon." people come for medical advice...only...? But she chose the right guy to unleash. I didn't mind. I was entertained. And each day since Ive been telling JC "this is too hard , you handle it." Seems to be working .........….a bit.
This is a blatant plug for Christianity. I can see things more clearly from a distance. Example. Buddhism. It was eastern. It was exotic almost sexy. And it had the x factor of psychoanalysis. I love psychology and character analysis. And self reliance. I could sort out my own problems. Simply by meditating. Simply by watching my thoughts I could solve the riddle of life. Christianity I was raised on but never understood. Only now am I understanding its depth and breadth. What I am saying here is that what is right in front of you is what you need to address and embrace. in some ways you need to look at it from a distance at first. When we begin to truly see what is right in front of us then we start to lose our blindness. not saying my life is sorted out. if anything im the most screwed up on writingforums.org. But i hope even though i sound hopeless. I will never fully cave in to despair. Christianity takes you on a different orientation. I just wish i could express it better. It is much better than i could ever make it sound.
weak yet kind indecisive yet flexible creative yet undisciplined compassionate yet too sentimental decisive yet dogmatic pragamtic yet unquestioning loyal yet utterly self-obsessed self-deprecatory yet unloving cheerful and motivated yet lacking intellectual depth creative businessman yet lacks ability to motivate staff
Havent seen it yet but Im guessing it is absolutely brilliant. What I like about Gervais is, he puts himself on the line totally. Complete and utter transparency. No pretension. The After Life idea is a classic. I wish I could have written it myself. How he struggles to survive after his wife dies. "Id rather be nowhere with her than somewhere without her." If my wife dies I will be similarly shattered.
Good song but I want to focus on my ill health here today. Im feeling depleted. My negative thinking is almost certainly the culprit for this cold. Yesterday at work I had a thought attack. I was feeling really depressed. My favorite boss has moved on, prospects of earning good income in the future remote, my wife is sicker than me, my relationship with siblings is poor, prospects of a better job also remote, the job itself gets tougher towards winter, fear of the future. If I could focus on one aspect it is definitely "fear of the future." Ive had too easy a ride. Time for Paper to suffer some real pain. Man or mouse Paper? Mouse he answers. I never wanted to be a Lion. That is for Clint Eastwood and John Wayne types. And yet I know there are people out there with real pain. Real suffering. Imagine being disabled waiting in a bed for someone to change your diaper. imagine being totally reliant on carers for any quality of life. How would your pride be then uh? And then people out there working there butts off in low paid jobs they hate just to feed kids and survive. No time to watch YouTube clips of Jordan Peterson and be inspired. Life is tough and much tougher for other people than me. Anyone who has got time to write a blog entry like this, must have it good. But I like moaning....
"Blokey" male , masculine, often associated with banter between guys whether it be in an all male workplace like a building site or all male sports team. This word is used more in Australia than other countries to my knowledge. I grew up on it. Seventies. Eightees. You would even notice it in the media where all male sports panels/commentators shared borderline sexist, racist and homophobic slurs in the name of a joke. I am prompted to write this as a popular Australian male TV "footy show" has now become unpopular. Panel members used to get away with dressing in drag for instance, to either make fun of some transgender wanting to play in a womans competition or just for fun. I can see that some of the attitudes here do appear obsolete. It used to be funny and now it just looks insensitive. But it does concern me where this is all headed. Are we destined to lose our sense of humour altogether? Are the only safe targets left, middle aged/old males who speak their mind? o0r Christians for that matter? Jokes directed at the Muslim Religion for example get squashed immediately and are even labelled "hate speech". Criticism of the Catholic Church is almost encouraged as a symbol of the "Dark Ages" and too full of old make pedophiles to take seriously. Laugh at the Catholic Church by all means but don't be upset if someone laughs at other religions. I realise I need to examine my own conscience on this. As Ive hinted, I grew up on racism and homophobia. Sexism too. Its become a habit I need to address. As a Christian I need to respect all human beings with various points of view. But the "new" humour is something I find hard to embrace. Well you might say because it is partly targeted at me. I can take it. But can "oppressed" groups take it? And the ones who support them? I doubt it. Hence the future of humour in this world is under threat. We are being strangled/suffocated by political correctness. Come on everyone . Lighten up.
Some points of view lack intellectual rigor. Or don't stand the test of logic. But nevertheless they are interesting. And capture our imagination. This is what I think JP was getting at. Don't look at things from one standpoint only. Respect scientific reason but don't be a slave to it. Use statistics now and then but don't let that be your only source of inspiration. Well JP gets into archetypes and imaginative narratives. This what is makes him interesting. if he were just using statistics I would be bored silly. And many others may feel the same. I was having a debate with a brother last night. He is a logic and stats hound. If the debate veers off that narrow path he gets annoyed. I can feel suffocated. Exhausted. Especially with someone who treats every conversation as a contest. He is a pretty smart guy but after a while I find his pov limited and unimaginative. Sometimes an off the wall opinion will get my attention. Ok the proud centrists will come the fore "it depends on the context and situation" as if their mature view is the final word. But I think we owe the ones who go out on a limb and express a strong opinion. They got the rest of us thinking at least. Do I agree with them? Why or why not?
Im in my favourite coffee shop with good newspapers and cool old jazz/blues tracks playing. I always order flat white regular in a paper cup. Coffee arrives in cup and saucer. "sorry i ordered in a paper cup." 2 minutes later coffee arrives in paper cup. Taste coffee. Coldish. Im thinking she's just poured this into a paper cup without checking temperature. I cant be bothered complaining again. Ive complained before. I can be the nightmare customer but i cant be bothered today. Last year I went online and complained. That got their attention for sure. I give praise when service is good though. I try to be fair. Funny how such a small matter can spoil your day. But I live in a small world. Small things are important.
I might be lonely but dont realise it. As long as my partner is alive i dont think loneliness is an issue. i know before i was married i led a very restless social life. I couldnt spend much time at home. It was like being afraid that my existence was negligible. i needed validation. i needed the illusion of energy and progress. So my so called Christian faith will be sorely tested one day i fear. Some of my happiest times have been spent alone. (yes i know what a witty person might say here ☺)
What tempts me now didnt necessarily tempt me 20 years ago. The idea of melted butter on toast and a nice hot coffee on a cold morning will always tempt me . A naked woman with big boobs wont have the same impact as it used to. ( ok i know ive left myself open for ridicule here) ☺ An employer who takes me seriously and can offer serious money for less serious effort will tempt me. Ive always been attracted to easy money though i never sold drugs. Im always being tempted to use wit. Maybe that is why i like social media. I can be a twit though.