Here I am in my sixtees still talking about career advice. Wouldn't it be nice...goes the Beach Boys song. Wouldn't it be nice if we really knew what the job was really like? before we applied for it? I mean the characters we will work for and with. The tone of the workplace. The details of the job. The minuses, not just the pluses. Im not working for an arrogant sob who is only interested in profit and exploitation. Im not working with that deranged colleague who plays power games, mind games and reputation games. No thanks. Im not slaving my butt off for below average pay...……..if we really knew the nature of the job we were applying for, we wouldn't bother. Taking a job is a risk for employee, offering one is a risk for employer. You don't know what you're getting until the gift is unwrapped. Like dating perhaps. Someone seems ideal until you actually start to talk to them. Even then they might seem ok. Take the next step and live with them. Idiosyncrasies will slowly be revealed. No thanks. Next please. Sometimes it doesn't matter what the workplace is like. A job is similar no matter what. You know what to expect. Teaching for example. its going to be tough. Kids will test, whether it is in wealthy suburb or not. That is almost universal. if you enjoyed teaching in the first school chances are you will enjoy it in the second. if you didn't like the first experience, beware of the second for sure.
There is enough despair in the world. Enough hatred for self and others. Positions Vacant: Hopeful with authentic optimism. Not the fake kind. Must be willing to not be disillusioned nor give up. Able to see good in others a bonus. Can cover any shift for some of our current employees who tend to call in sick due to unhappiness. Must be tough but kind enough in the inside to feel others pain. Must like jokes and humour but not too sarcastic or cynical please. We have enough of those already Leadership potential would be nice. But not easily corrupted nor eager to please. We need people who truly believe we are going somewhere . Which resembles Heaven more than Hell.
It just so happens that on Thursday Night, Bible Study group starts at 7pm at the same time as a St. Vincent de Paul Meeting. I have chosen Bible Study group for the last few years. It appeals to my intellect. I feel I can learn something and grow in faith. But I have a niggling doubt that it is Pharisaic. Loving the theory and avoiding the practical. Faith versus good works. I did actually go to one St. Vincent de Paul meeting. Just once. The curiosity was too much. The people were hard working and looking for more hard workers. Christmas Hampers distribution to the poor. Attending to requests for financial help. Giving out food vouchers for local supermarkets. It is very real. Very pragmatic. I wasn't in great physical health at the time. That's my excuse any way. I still have health issues. But of course I feel guilty for not going back to the charity meetings and helping them out. I was genuinely afraid of the commitment required. And I was afraid of starting something and then quitting half-way. That added to the trepidation. I really respect those doing volunteer work for charity. They are walking the Christian talk. But I don't see them doing much talk either. Good virtuous people living virtuous lives. Bible study is good but on occasion it can be politely argumentative. Egos clash. "My interpretation is closer to the truth than yours." In a sense I feel Im hiding in the Bible Study Group. One day I might head back to the other group. I ask myself that every time at 7.00pm Thursday. Should I go back?
How bad is it in your city or state or part of the world? theres a doco on tv here in australia tonight .About opioid addiction in cities like San Fran. So oxycontin is the worst offender? i have a presciption for tramadol for back pain which i take daily. been taking for 10 years. 100 mg a day. guess you might call me an opioid junkie too.
JP: Man you need to take responsibility I tell ya. JC: I took responsibility for everyone's sins. How's that? And don't call me man. Im Godman for Godsake! JP: Yeah OK but you gotta have goals Godman. You gotta always aim high. JC: I aim to please Dad mainly. JP: OK I see ya got a Father complex there Godman. I suggest some therapy for that. Try to be your own man. Try to please yourself. JC: Well in a way I do. JP: Life is suffering. Did you know that? JC: I sure do. Didn't you read about Calvary and all that? JP: You just think you got it worse than everybody else. The typical victim narrative. There's people suffered more than you ya know. JC: Hey life isn't a suffering contest ya know. I was just trying to show the way. Showing how life should be a sacrifice. A sacrifice of love. JP: Hey Im not stupid Godman. I did teach at Harvard by the way. I've written extensively on sacrifice and suffering. JC. Hey Jordan. Can I call you Jordan? I like your youtube lectures and in a way you are helping my cause. But what I really want to ask is for 100% from you, not 50%. JP: I take offence to that. Ive been working my butt off. JC: No I want you to go public on this. I want you. 100% of you. I want you to spread the word directly. Tell em you've come over to the light. I don't care if its Orthodox, Catholic or Protestant. Just come out of the closet. Can you do that for me? JP: But but...Im not finished yet. My ego would never agree. The money and lifestyle are too good. You are asking way too much. Ask someone else.. Im just a Jungian psychologist. Not a preacher. JC: Don't be a hypocrite. This is your chance to BE the ultimate sacrifice. Don't sit on the fence anymore and hide behind academia. JP: Go and annoy somebody else. Im done.
There is a new pub in our city, right next to a new sports stadium. Both are huge and popular. ive been there. its a nice vibe when its quiet. However one of the pub managers complained in the local newspaper recently. In so many words he said that "young people just don't wanna work these days". He prefers to hire visiting European backpackers because apparently they have a better work ethic. "local kids just quit on me or sometimes just don't even call in to say they aren't coming in." That I can sympathise with a little. Must be tough dealing with employees who don't even show up. But then he mentioned the 12 hour shifts. "Young people don't want to work fast non stop for 12 hours. they want everything on their terms." I thought to myself, there is no way I want to work fast non stop for 12 hours doing anything. Even when I was young. That is unreasonable. I need breaks. And if I had to do a hard intense job, I would need at least a 1 hour break in the middle of a 12 hour shift. And some other short breaks in between. Problem is when the almighty dollar is paramount, working conditions can suffer for employees. Employers will take the easiest route. if one group of employees don't mind being treated badly, then the conditions will stay bad. Backpackers will only stay a short time so they know they only have to put up with it briefly. I sound like a trade union official don't I. But of course capitalism is the best system on offer. Overall Im happy to live in a capitalist country. But I can see where employers need to be kept in check. They will try to get away with whatever is on offer. If I were a boss, I might do the same. Save money by hiring new immigrants for instance. Well of course that makes business sense. Im not a charity organiser. Balance is required though. that's why we need left and right politics. One to support the employer, one to support the rights of the worker.
Then the snake said to the woman, 'No! You will not die! Your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods, knowing good from evil.' woman saw that the tree was good to eat and pleasing to the eye, and that it was enticing for the wisdom that it could give. So she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they realised that they were naked. So they sewed fig-leaves together to make themselves loin-cloths. My question is what is this tree exactly? the tree of knowledge, knowing good from evil. Why doesn't God want Adam and Eve to eat from it? And what is wrong with noticing you are naked?
Yeah I thought a pretty predictable topic too. Seems though that honesty and avoidance of deceit is not as simple as it sounds. And most of us can be under the illusion that "we are quite honest, and hardly ever tell lies." The key is transparency to self. Avoid self-deceit. We rationalise our behaviour because as JP says our 'rational" side is proud and arrogant and way overrates itself. I might think I am being kind to someone by agreeing with everything they say. But if I don't politely object to parts that bother me, I am possibly manipulating them so they will think well of me. Likewise if I am argumentative and automatically disagree with everything they say, I am not honestly keeping myself in check. I have stopped questioning the validity of my own thoughts and concepts. JP seems to emphasise the value of doubt. that is how I understand him anyway. That it is more important to work towards new understanding than to stubbornly stick to what you already know. We have to transcend fear. Don't be afraid to complain to anyone. Just learn how to complain. How to communicate. We might risk losing our job for instance but the process of taking that risk, transforms us into stronger human beings. The courage we gain is more important than the job itself. Avoidance of speaking our truth is the way we betray ourselves. So don't avoid conflict but don't go looking for it either. Jp might be one who suggests fighting is more valuable than "peace". Certainly "peace at all costs" can amount to self-betrayal. My parents were salt of the earth good people. But sometimes they caved in to bullying and harassment from their kids and others as well. In a passive and meek way. I would have liked to see them stand up for their own truth. Now I am hardly qualified to critique anyone especially my dear parents. I only do this to clarify my own values. And like JP I think I need to confront more than remain passive passenger. I think following JP's advice will often make us unpopular and might set us up for constant conflict with others. But if I think of people I look up to and admire (JP being one of them), it is the ones who weren't afraid to speak their own truth, no matter the consequences. Bonhoffer, Gandhi, Solzenitzen, . because most of us play politics and compromise for fear of leaving our comfort zone or risking our current security.
I put the pump gun back in and went to pay. Number 2 pump. Dont forget the number. Open the door and squeeze in behind the longest queue Ive ever seen. We are packed in like a can of herring. Seems to be some issue holding us all up. A motorbike rider with his helmet still on is at the pay counter. I marvel at the old guy working behind the counter. Hes punching in magical figures. Its all very mysterious but hes not panicked. A furrowed brow perhaps but he has obvuously been in this situation before. Im trying to guess the problem. Fake cedit card? Wrong input? Computer freeze? After the longest 5 minutes ive experienced in years he apologizes to the motor bike rider. Then apologizes to each one of us as we come up to pay. That old guy sure knows how to handle pressure!
Im using these blog entries on JP as a kind of self-study tool. This is just another example of the absolute gold to be found in his book 12 rules for Life. Man I needed this one ages ago. How to talk to yourself. Well yes I can do that quite well now but JP gets down to the specifics, nuts and bolts. "You're a bad employee but a worse boss." Doesn't that say it all! How many of us can resonate with that profound insight! "maybe you need to say to yourself. 'ok.i know we haven't got along very well in the past. Im sorry about that. im trying to improve. I'll probably make some more mistakes along the way, but I'll try to listen if you object. I'll try to learn. I just noticed today that you weren't really jumping to help when I asked. is there something that I could offer in return for your co operation? maybe if you did the dishes, we could go for coffee? An espresso. Your favourite. Or is there something else you want?" This was from Rule 4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday not to another person. Im in my sixtees and can still be motivated by this approach. its so fresh . So original. So amusing, the thought of the need to charm oneself in order to get co operation. older people still need motivating. Maybe more so.
This is a tough admission to make. I choose friends who cant hurt me, emotionally, psychologically, intellectually , spiritually or even physically. If I feel the least bit intimidated in any of those areas I will not enter the friendship contract. JP( Jordan Peterson) talks about choosing friends who either pull you down or challenge you upwards. Well at least I don't choose friends who lead me into drugs and other sinister evil detours. Or ones who love talking about the latest real estate purchase they made. Not that Im above all that. Just that I don't like to feel in competition. I don't like the status race. In high school I stuck with mainly the intellectual nerds. Now in a way these guys challenged me to aspire to higher academia. But because they lacked confidence with girls, that kept them humble enough to be sociable with me who was a kind of dumb jock in a way. Ive always avoided the elites. The coolest kids in high school or when I was a teacher, the gun teachers who were popular with kids, parents and colleagues. I preferred to mix with the low self esteem teachers. Not that there were many but I always found at least one. I felt comfortable with loner types. maybe that is because I didn't feel inferior. in fact I felt superior. My status felt magically higher with them, than if I consorted with the successful ones. I don't think I treated these loner type friends too badly but secretly I harboured an arrogant superiority. I liked them because they couldn't hurt me. In retrospect that is rather sad. it says more about me than them. They were nice people. they deserved a better friend than me.
Find the right words. This is what Jordan Peterson advises in his book 12 Rules for life. The better we can pinpoint, describe and elaborate in detail our problems the better chance we have of solving them. The worst thing we can do is ignore them. Because the 'sleeping mouse" becomes the "sleeping dragon" one day. Don't let small annoyances pass. Tell your partner or work colleague . Nip it in the bud. Don't let it slowly boil up inside, ready to burst one day. I imagine JP facing every single problem in his life with care and precision immediately and on the spot. Run out of toothpaste? Hop on a bike and go to the nearest supermarket. that way you get much needed exercise as well. Accidentally yelled at his wife? Patch it up quickly. make sure all is well. Kid wants more pocket money? Spend 30 minutes lecturing them on the evils of being spoilt and not appreciating money, Sorry I was bordering on satire then. of course Jordan has integrity so he is definitely walking the talk. I just wonder if it is better not to say anything sometimes. Because an ill word does more damage than none. "If you cant say something nice don't say it at all" as the saying goes. And in the workplace we cant go round confronting people all the time. Sometimes we just have to let it pass, because we are busy and have to do the job. But I like his concept. because I was just thinking how bad vagueness is. My brother once said "anxiety runs in the family" and left it at that. But each of us have different phobias. Anyway such vague statements need further investigation. My anxiety for instance is different to his because he is still extroverted. I need to reflect on this and explain it better.
"Yeah Im kind of lazy sometimes. Dont want to get out of bed. You must be feeling really tired. " "I used to drink a lot. Just gave me hangovers and a bad reputation. But I understand the anxiety relief alcohol can give. " "i used to be hard on myself and hard on other people. Guess I had to grow up sooner later. Thats all behind me now"
Warning sensitive topic sorry guys. But maybe these are the very topics we need to think and write about. The ones that get under our skin. Only one things worse than a pedophile son. -What's that? A pedophile sympathiser. -What about a wrongly accused pedophile ? No such thing son. A catholic Cardinal has been sent to jail here in Australia. I suspect the trial was a mistrial. No concrete evidence. Only hearsay. This is such a sensitive topic that it is easy to offend.Nothing worse than someone who has been genuinely abused, not being believed. I accept that. I know that. My concern is ...was justice being done? well it doesn't appear that way. Seems that prejudice against the Catholic Church got in the way. Were the jurors manipulated by the victim's version of events? I don't know. I wasn't there. But I think it is fair to express doubt. Beyond reasonable doubt? Doesn't look that way to me. A case of guilty until proven innocent. the cardinal has had his haters. He's very conservative in his views and doesn't believe in gay marriage for example. Ive seen a report on pedophiles in the Philippines. it shocked me. Sex tourists exploiting the poor. Just makes me sick. That doesn't make me holy though. Being sickened by their wickedness. As someone said, in the paper today we are all capable of monstrous acts. yet most of us don't know it. Jordan Peterson said that too. "we all like to think we are like the Holocaust victim not the guard who tortures them.". So the illusion that sin is somehow out there and not in all of us continues in the world. We need to remember that before pointing the finger at wicked criminals or in this case a potentially innocent one.
Do kids get a good education at school these days? i went to school from about 1963 to 1975. So behaviourism was the model then. Teacher out the front. "heres the knowledge. I will pour it down into your brain." i liked the simplicity of it. memorisation suited me. If the teacher was interesting i didnt care if they talked the whole lesson. guess it encouraged passivity. And critical thinking skills werent really encouraged. but what about the modern education system? Next college mid to late seventies. I was training to become an elementary school teacher. New fangled theories were rejecting behaviourism and handing over more freedom to the child. Lessons should get the kids collaborating, chatting, put desks in groups. Process writing. that was a classic. let the kids write freely. No model for them to imitate. Just write! Enjoyment. Enjoy the lesson. lets make learning fun fun fun! Most sensible trainees let all this crap go in one ear and out the other. I however become e disciple of these fashionable theories which put the child at the centre. The child must enjoy the lesson! I was like a Jehovah's Witness in my first year of teaching. Trying to make the education theories work. How many feeble lessons went over like a lead balloon! poor kids. They would have been happier with a more old fashioned authoritarian who just told them anecdotes all period. Plus me having the people pleaser gene made it even worse. After a few years I gradually woke up and put more structure in my lessons, giving the kids examples/templates to learn. I wasn't an awful teacher by then....hang on maybe I was just in a different way..... So here I am in 2019 cleaning schools. the school janitor. I arrive before last period finishes. I witness kid after kid using the toilets, instead of being in class. the teacher oblivious to the hijinks they get up to. I see kids who are supposed to be doing "collaborative" group work outside, playing handball, skylarking, obviously not doing the task assigned. And this is a prestigious school! I imagine the more working class public schools must be even worse. I would never think of asking to go to the toilet during class. The teacher would always say "make sure you go before class" and that was it. No nonsense. Maybe home schooling is the best option. I can learn more by myself on youtube in a day than I ever learnt at school in a term. School is just for socialisation. Oh it used to be so we could learn obedience but that seems to have changed.