Title was taken from Graham's blog entry. Thanks Graham. I was sitting in my favourite coffee shop this morning, reading an obituary of a famous person in the newspaper, and listening to Van Morrison plus snippets of a conversation between two people on the next table, a few years older than me. Retirees. Well this is gonna make me look judgemental and hypocritically superior but here goes. One male talker and one female listener. Over lets say half an hour I caught bits and pieces of his recent trip to America. How he hired a car in Miami and did you know a certain percentage speak Spanish as their first language? He was slowing it down, trying to get every detail, step by step, "and then we did this"..."and then we did that"...…… I don't think the woman got a word in. Well only to acknowledge that she was indeed listening carefully. I was in awe of her patience and I wonder if she was really thrilled to hear such a long story in minute detail. Do you tell someone in a conversation all the details of your recent trips? Now maybe I wouldn't mind if this guy put the trip in writing and say expressed himself here. Then the readers can take a break. But in spoken conversation, you potentially become a prisoner. A captive. Trapped in totalitarian hell with talkaholics. (I'm exaggerating for effect here.) I can remember this feeling and the demanding facial expression of the speaker, as if to say "there's more, I haven't finished yet.) In conclusion., I have to admit to being the talkaholic often in conversations with my wife. I take her listening for granted. I become absorbed by my own thoughts. A classic narcissist who stops seeing who he is talking to. Still I can proudly boast that I don't bore people in conversations about my trips. maybe because I hardly travel any more. (insert ironic emoji)
Ok well. He's coming to Australia anyway. Real soon. Like this coming weekend. In my city he will speak on Friday and Saturday. 200 bucks a ticket! Come on Jordan. I can watch you on YouTube for free. And how is your talk going to be any different? If money weren't an issue, I would see him for sure though. Im a fan. But interestingly I think his fans are not only young college students. There are guys in their sixtees, like me, who are fascinated by JP. I saw a clip this morning on Redemption by JP. Best one ive seen. It was bloody awesome! What he does with the Bible is absolutely mind blowing! I don't know how I didn't see that one before. I wonder if he's inadvertently recruiting more Christians? The Churches have to thank him then. I know he's helping Christians see the Bible with fresh eyes. And that is just the start. Christians need fresh insights. Because we get stuck in tired old clichés about Jesus and what happened in the OT as well.
"Do not pursue what is illusory-property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade, and is confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life-don't be afraid of misfortune; and do not yearn after happiness; it is , after all , all the same: the bitter doesn't last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing. It is enough if you don't freeze in the cold and if thirst and hunger don't claw at your insides. If your back isn't broken, if your feet can walk, if both arms can bend, if both eyes see, and if both ears hear, then whom should you envy? And why? Our envy of others devours us most of all. Rub your eyes and purify your heart-and prize above all else in the world those who love you and wish you well." from The Gulag Archipelago by Alexander Solzhenitzsyn
This blog entry is a deliberate attempt to avoid a painful chore i must attend to today. I need to fill out a very detailed form plus track down some long ago archived documents. It will take at least 3 hours of my precious time. But finishing it will provide much needed financial assistance in these low income days. That alone should be enough motivation.
I don't have kids but as I age I wonder what it would be like to have them. Im thinking a boy might be too similar to me and we would clash. I couldn't stand a sarcastic wannabe smart alec juvenile delinquent lazy, blaming others, and not taking responsibility moaning procrastinator idealist. Maybe it would be good to share a joke though. (insert juvenile emoji) Is it inappropriate to admit I would like to have a daughter? Particularly in todays world. I could teach her how to play cricket or rugby as women play these sports. I could monitor her feminist tendencies. Maybe we could enjoy some light-hearted banter., of course I wouldn't want to have serious arguments. that would be a nightmare. Our kids can keep us grounded as far as staying in touch with technology and the modern world.Young people are a way of keeping us in toucvh with what is happening in circles we would otherwise be excluded from. What if she did ballet or became an environmentalist? I would be encouraged to learn more about things I would usually ignore. So yeah Im choosing a daughter. Id be the classic protective father though. No boy is good enough. There is something about being a father of a daughter that purifies me. A chance to atone for not treating my mother and women my age, with enough respect. A second chance to show more chivalry.
My dog loves this song recently. i think he identifies with the lyrics. He certainly can be naughty so im glad he does. "Im looking at the dog in the mirror Im hoping he can change his ways If you want make the neighbourhood a better place take a look at yourself and make the change!
Ok well for some of you it may be a badge of honour. Taking part in a political protest in your college days. There was a highly esteemed horse trainer who got arrested recently. Seeing someone handcuffed and hands behind their back. Id be traumatised . It must be so humiliating. Then the long interrogation to look forward to.
This is really part 2 of Stop Being hard on Yourself. Wouldn't it be great if you had the power to make yourself feel good about yourself instantly. And make others feel good about themselves instantly. Mind you, as power corrupts, it would inevitably go to your head. You would be tempted to set yourself up as a guru and make lots of cash. "Paper. You are actually an awesome individual. You're funny. Unique. A bit smart. A bit intellectual. And paper I want you to accept you and your current situation right now. Unconditionally. You get points for trying and not giving up. You make mistakes every day but you are prepared to own them. I want you to stop dwelling on those mistakes for too long. Just a brief look at the error and a quick "now what positive steps can I make to address that." You are human. No better or worse than anybody else. Seems you have a problem with this idea of equality. Life is not a contest, despite rumours to the contrary. You just try to be your best self. But anyway. One step forward, one step at a time. Hang in there. Don't worry about others thinking they are better than you. That's their problem. You and I know that we are all equal in His eyes." See even I can give the internal Bully a rest. What is dangerous about the internal bully is that we need to give ourselves a break from Him by finding fault in others. Our pleasure becomes pointing out the errors that others make. We can take a vacation from self bashing. And pride ourselves on the ability to see awful traits in others. Especially the hidden ones. We can fantasise about being an investigative reporter revealing the "real" truth about someone who has a popular persona in real life.
Yes in my small world this advice has been ringing in my ears daily for the last 3 months. First GL . Then my older bro. They both have good intentions of course. I dont think i like to witness others judging themselves harshly. But then again I dont like others blowing their own tuba either. Eckhart Tolle experienced an epiphany when he heard himself think "I cant live with myself anymore." Are there two of me? The one who thinks and the one who watches me think? Maybe more healthy to identify with the watcher not the thinker. And thats how i view me "being hard on myself". I dont identify with everything i write on here. These blog entries allow me to get distance from my thinking. I might be critical of my own thoughts behaviour and attitude but i see that as a good thing. I need to aspire to humility as a Christian. Even though of course my narcissism often wins the day. By "being hard on myself" i try to keep myself in check. And like Tolle i try not to identify with the idiot. Because I know all of us are idiots. Just some are better at hiding it or they can hide behind the mask of worldly wisdom. Sorry that last part will sound disrespectful. Dont take it personally would be my advice.
You know what your problem is? You're too arrogant. You dont make enough room in your tiny cerebellum for diverse opinion. See. Youve already dismissed me. And Im the one who can help you. Ive got the home truths you need to hear. Youve made up your mind and thats it. Well hello. Wake up and smell the coffee bro. You need to work on your communication skills. Be more sensitive. Choose your words more wisely. Dont talk like a bulldozer. And above all take the time to really listen! Look ive run out of time. gotta go. bye.
Yes I do. Very. Im extremely witty. I can see the funny side to most situations. Except the ones where I am the target of ridicule. In fact being on the receiving end of awful humour at my expense is rather nasty and uncalled for. I dont deserve it. Im above all that. If my jokes dont win the day there is something awry in the universe. My excellent taste in humour is no thanks to my very dull and uninspiring family. Im a freak of nature. The humour gene must have come from some brilliant ancestor I hope to meet one day in the next life. Dont start me on next life. Then you will glimpse a very serious side of me that is not as funny. Well not to me anyway. You might think my serious side is funnier than my funny side. And that is just soooo annoying!
It's been on the cards for years now. I think its time to go our separate ways finally. She doesn't respect me. She uses me, then laughs at my huge profile. Why she hasn't thrown me away before I don't know. Guess Im amusing to her. To watch someone grow into a Humpty Dumpty, must give her some sadistic pleasure. its been more addiction than love. My back hurts too much. ive got to do something. And ive accumulated other issues too. Like skin rashes, sore shins, sore fingers, feelings of nausea, … all this and of course low-self esteem....we have to call it quits ...or I will die, sooner than later
"Have we ever kept silent , despite the urge to defend our selves, when we were being unfairly treated? …..Such experiences for ordinary men are unpleasant interruptions to life which cannot be avoided. Those of the Spirit and saints cherish these moments. They feel blessed by God and closer to Christ. Such men realise that happiness is not the whole point of our earthly existence."
Quoted from Huck Finn: "and she went on and told me all about the 'good" place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing forever and ever So I didn't think much of it. But I never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there. . And she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about that because I wanted him and me to be together. "
Maybe I'd love to say I'm a writer by trade. Yes I earn an income by putting words together. "Oh here comes that famous writer, Paper." "Yes thanks to all you fans. My next book is bound to be a best-seller. I get a lot of satisfaction by both entertaining and inspiring you." But then there are some of us who don't want to be defined by our occupations. Because those jobs are either meaning-deprived, a pittance or one we mutter under our breath when someone askes us what we do. I never got much status from being a teacher by the way. It was often a thankless task. What about those on full-time disability income? They have to search for other ways to make their life meaningful. They might take their hobbies more seriously for example. And the retired folk? Suddenly they feel less relevant to society. Are they tempted to get into volunteer work asap? Is it so great to have so much free time now? I had a well paid job once. But I don't think I was any great service to humanity. It was pretty easy too. The main benefit was economic . Maybe we don't need to be defined at all. But if I have to be defined, I would prefer to defined by my interests and hobbies, than the jobs I did in life.