My heart fell in love with you I tried to fight the feelings, scared of getting hurt in the end i confessed my feelings part of me wish you would reject me but you gave me a chance two years of love survived long distance college love then once summer it all stopped you stopped calling stopped texting e-mailing all of it in the blink of an eye it felt like a dream it seemed so real one moment the next not you said you loved me said you never hurt me but what man won't even tell the girl he dated the honest truth it's one thing to fall out of love it's another to just try and vanish from her life but that's not the saddest part the saddest most tragic part is after all that I still love you i want to move on but questions of why keep me chained I want to hate you but I love you emotions tore in so many directions you explaining why would be the key to my freedom from the pain you shackled me with it's the least you can do for breaking my heart
I'm a hair away from 5'4 so I just say I am 5'4. I have broad shoulders ( a Medium T-Shirt fits me at the waist, but to tight in the should and armpit area. a Large T-shirt fits me on the should armpit area but a little to much in the waist area. I wear a B34 bra but the area under my breast gets imprint form my bra but B36 it feel like the bra is riding up. Even more drama with pants ( with jeans it finding one that have a good waist height ) just below waist become mid raise. I'm just upset I found a lather jacket i really like for a great price but neither Large more XL fit me in the shoulder area. I know I need to find clothes that fit to the biggest part of me then Tailor it down, but i can't even find that it seems I love my body, i love my big butt, small waist, I'm OK with my breast size but I HATE going to 5 different stores and finding nothing, ending up settling with stuff from walmart. Its not fair, i can lose weight on my lower body (plain to/working on it) but my tousle is the smallest it can get) I just wish i knew how to shop for my body, its really hard to love myself when it feel like the clothing company are trying to make me not.
Mama, Daddy please stop fighting over money arguing day and night what to do. Sometimes Mommy gets so mad she just has to walk away. Daddy stands his ground not wanting to increase interest, but Mommy says they have too Both can only agree on increasing the credit card limit The fight is so loud , even if i cover my ears I can hear it. Now my siblings are taking sides. Some agree with Mommy, others with Daddy the fight so loud the media comes to our house to. I know Mommy and daddy fought, even over silly things like which light bulb to buy but this is the worse yet I know they will never stop fighting but i wish they could at least agree to disagree If my family can figure away to save mommy then we'll be homeless I don't care about mommy and daddy I just want all my brothers and sisters to stop fighting I thought the blanket over my head cover my ears and tear escape wishing and pray that mommy and daddy will compromise ------------------------------------------ Yeah if you don't get what this is about when you don't live in the USA but this is my view in a childish form what the problem is like.
When i was little i remeber having bunches of books, one about why ducks can't get wet, 4 gaint books ( as tall or taller then me) about fairy tales ( like red riding hood ) and many many more. but the one i remeber and wish i had still ( note I'm 21) was "A Treasury of Mother Goose Rhymes" it was a hardcover as thick as a text book with all the nursey rhymes. I wish I had the book from my childhood. i have found it on amazon, barnes and noble and other places but *sigh* to poor to buy it now To everyone who reads this What something from your childhood that you wish you could still have riht now? I got tons (mainly toys that vanished and i don't know how) do you wonder why we wish we had them? would you ever by that thin online if it was at a good price?
I got a call today from a job that i sent in an application too. I was happy for one because today i was feeling down. The problem is i got stump on two question 1. tell me a little about your self i told her i go to a tech college and my degree is in computer science but after that i drew a blank it not that i don't know anymore about myself it more what do i say but freak her out or have her ask "whats that" i didn't want to talk about my black cat either and sound like a cat lady *sigh* i like anime, Japanese culture, trying slowly to learn Japanese, not a sport person now I'm drawing blanks. 2. what experience to you have in preparing food. now i don't feel so bad with my answer because i never really had a job preparing food but i could have use fixing dinner for my family in that or added I'm a quick learner or something about new experience. Yeah I know hine sight is 20/20 but i really want a job and this is the first that called me since summer break as started. i can currently work any hours although i told her i would like every other weekend to a baby site ( at the same time i added i could work around it) I just keep hoping that at least i get a interview, I'm a reliable person harder working who try her best to mean all standards ( another thing i could have added) cod flab it phone interviews suck, i wish i just had a list of questions that i will or more the likely be asked so i can at least think about it. i just needed to vent and try to get my mind off it, i more then likely be making something out of nothing i wish this embarrassment feeling would stop its more irritating then depression (at least you et sad music for the latter) maybe if enough people wish me luck it might come true lol to everyone who happens to read all this thanks tons
I don't know where to post this in the forum plus not sure how to explain what i want. the song is for my story. i can't decide if i want to just describe the song or actually write out what the words to the song. it suppose to a song that a magic spell (incantation) to remove a curse. i want to readers to not be able to tell if the song will work thats way depending on how you feel could be a happy or sad song. the singer is suppose to be singing about the couple who is cursed ( she is not part of the couple but knows them) I want reference to rewinding time, wish to change the past, removing the mask of fear, stop ignore what they know, I know I want " what's done is done now be undone" in the lyrics and how tragic the couple can't live with or without each other cursing them in more ways then one I had times where i thought up lyrics but then forgot what they before i could write them down. any advice
First off i dont expect anyone to answer this of even read it, I just need to vent and rant. MY boyfriend and I have been dating since high school. We went to prom together. he is my first bf and first first love. THis year , the 3rd year of being together we have had no communication except once and that was after Valintines Day ( i called and finially reached him) we have a long distance relationship, both in college him in Texas , me in Indiana. In the past we would talk online mostly, only texting the other to get online. but now nothing. i have e-mailed, texted, called and even e-mail his mother to see what up. I'm not the only one is not communicating with regurly, his mother is also upset he doesn't call her. I thought maybe it was my cell phone because i had to step outside to talk on it but I've ot a new one and still 5 rings the a voice telling me the inbox of his voicemail is full. I love him more then anything, i want to marry him, have kids and spend the rest of my life with him. but not like this I don't mind long distance but this form of silent treatment is killing me form the inside out. He usually came home over break but this winter due to missing a few weeks in the previous summer for some ship training he had to stay at school, he didn't come home this spring, i was able to ask him if he would in that one call but he was unsure. Now I'm on summer break and I'm wondering when his will be home, or if the as prices are to high for him to come home. I would e-mail his mother but its a school address and school is out. When I first met him in high school I had such a bad crush on him. I would say and think anything to myself to stop having feeling for him, i hoped it would only last 2 weeks then go away but the feeling only got strong to the point i needed to tell him how i felt, part of me hoped he would let me down but another was scared to death of it. i would hang out with him as much as i could as school, i'd give him litle presents example candy for hoildays, wait for him to get of class if the class was near mine. no matter how much i feared telling him, i still manged to tell him, usually my fears wins but this was the first time no matter what my over active imation came up with, i still told him. after our first date I told him if he ever hurts me perposely i will kick his ass now i'm scared that the part of me that never wanted to confess with go "i told you so, i told you so" even if i feel if this does end it was a nice experince. I laso fear it will be harder for me to be in love again. i have daddy issuces( i try to get over it but the old fart calls and cause new scares or opens old ones) and don't trust poeple easily(takes me years) I use to talk to uys online but slowly with dating my bf i didn't care to chat with them i just wanted him, i even had sexual fantsy with multiple poeple which i share with him but lately I noticed(little over a year) i don't care to i just want him the rest can stay a fantasy one day when i was at my lowest lows i wish he would hit me, verbly insult me, do something in which i would have no problem kicking his butt and moving on with my life. with this silent treatment, i can't reach him to ask him whats going on. the one day i did i was so happy to hear his voice that i forgot to be mad i just wanted to hear him talk didn't are about what is was just as long as he spoke something. I had planned to wait until he came home for the summer to confront him face to face to ask him whats up. to give him an ultimatium. in hopes that we could fix it. I do respect myself and will walk away if need be but i want to know why i need an explaintion. We waited two years to have sex and it makes me feel like that's what cause it. after we had sex and he leftfor school poor communication. I don't know if thats it but i know my over active imagtion is getting the better of me. my lowest day i meantioned before was the day when there were not 5 rings then that voice it just went straight to the voice and for some reason that hurt me even more. to the point i broke down and could not stop thinking nor stop crying. the rings have since came back but sill 5 rings then the voice. I told myself i will wait until June before i just send a letter to his parents house and maybe the infromation will find is way to him. I won't say our relationship is over, but i will put him out of my mind, move on but i know i won't want to date for a long time. thats ok in the end i just want to hear his side of the story I still have hope but how much if it is just not wanting to have a broken heart. I think I got out all i wanted, i feel much better, sorry for all the spelling and grammar but if anyone was able to read all that, thank you I hope this helps anyone and for those who comment thanks tons too.