I wonder if I should perhaps leave the site. In all my time here I believe I've made all of one post, despite my efforts to be useful in everything I say, that anyone ever appreciated, and the only time aside from that that I seem to be noticed is when I'm angering or irritating people. I always feel I'll come here some morning and find myself banned. And I'm not even the type who goes out of my way to make waves. Anything but. Yet upsetting people is the only reaction I seem to garner, when I garner any reaction at all.
I've never managed to become a "regular" on any website I frequent, no matter how much I put myself out there. I thought perhaps I'd find likeminded people on writing forums, of which I've joined two, but it isn't happening. This is the one of the two I interact on less, so the way I see it, it's not much of a loss, especially to anyone here.
I've never understood "friend" functions on any sites. I've never made friends or even acquaintances from friend functions. It's strange. Why do people friend others if they're not remotely interested in making the slightest connection? Just having some other people's usernames next to yours, under the name "Friends," when none of you know each other or even have the time of day for each other, seems stupid. Having no relationships in real life, I used to think the Internet would be an okay substitute--ANY kind of substitute, any kind of interaction is better than none--but I've learned over the years that it's no substitute at all. I've never made a connection even on a writing site. Why did I think I might? Because everyone else seems to, I guess, but that's never happened to me. Nobody ever mentions or thinks of "Tehuti" when they think of somebody who made an impact on them. And it's not for my lack of trying. In nine years online I've put myself all over the Web but haven't made a lasting connection anywhere. Sure have had a lot of broken promises and letdowns, though. All I ever got out of trying to connect to people was an even greater feeling of my insignificance. And loneliness.
Not that anyone who might read/see this will care anyway, since you need to have made a connection to make somebody care. Anyway, I suppose if anyone ever stumbles upon this months after I'm gone and finds something I've said intriguing or interesting, my link is on my profile. That takes you to all my online writing and anything one needs to know about me. I'm not hugely popular or so busy hearing from other people that surely one shouldn't even bother trying to get in touch with me, though the few times people have contacted me in the past they've had that stupid assumption; even when I assured them this wasn't so, that I barely ever hear from anyone about my writing (and I NEVER hear from people consistently or more than once) and that I love hearing from readers, I never heard back again. Guess they didn't find me or my work that interesting after all. Strangely, it's always the people who laud my work the loudest--the people who seem most interested, the people I'd love to communicate with the most--who lose interest the fastest. Go figure...like I said, I never make a lasting impression on anyone, not even those who claim to adore my work.
Despite pointing this out I don't expect any response anymore. I guess I'm just stupidly hopeful having my link posted.
I should make more time to try to write anyway. Me hanging out here hasn't helped me, and it certainly hasn't helped anyone else any.
Seeing as I believe I'm going now, messages won't be seen. My e-mail is also on my profile, or can be found through my link. Again, not that I expect anything. I just find it stupid when people message somebody who left a site ages before. I left another "social networking" site months ago and I still get e-mails from people wanting to friend me there. Haven't they even read my blog saying I left the site? They don't even glance at my page, get to see who I am, before trying to friend me? I guess not--again, what's the point of those friend functions? Stupid.
I just read a blog entry here where the author complained about people judging the taste and intelligence of others who enjoy a particular book (which is popular but critically reviled by other writers) as low. Shame on them for being so judgemental!
Then I read another blog entry by the same person in which the author complained about people who enjoy a particular type of music (which is popular with the masses but not with critics) and judged their taste and intelligence as low. Those stupid morons with no taste in music!
Why they didn't see the blatant hypocrisy of that, I have no clue, but I shan't step into their space and point it out. Ignorance is bliss.
They also boasted of how much more they know about grammar than many people but apparently didn't know the difference between "there," "they're," and "their." Again, who am I to judge. Just somebody who does know the difference. *shrug*
Well what good is the ignore function here? I still see, in the Lounge, a spiteful, ad hominem posting by the person I put on my ignore list. I thought the point of this function was to block out such things so I don't click on them and end up getting ticked off by the junk I see there. Out of sight, out of mind.
A well-established member of the site posts such incendiary junk and it's welcomed with lots of sniggering, agreeing comments; as soon as somebody else came in and offered a counter-argument (which was the only LOGICAL, non-ad hominem post I saw in the thread at that point), THEN a mod saw fit to step in and warn people to be civil. Only after a bunch of others sniggered and agreed with the original post, which IMO shouldn't have been allowed in the first place, it was so full of spite and namecalling and attacks on whole groups of people. Many of this user's posts are the same so I decided at last to put them on my ignore list, but the post still shows up for me. So much for that. I would have rated the thread a two, but the last time I rated a thread here, somebody either deleted my rating or changed it, which nullifies the point of that function as well.
I wanted to ignore another user whose Lounge postings are often just as filled with spite and hatred, but they're a mod, so I can't. Of course. Only well-established members can get away with such comments, I'm betting. If I were to try posting such spiteful comments I'm sure I'd get a warning. Not that I'd stoop so low as that. I'm rather disgusted that such stuff is even allowed here, much less welcomed.
But that's just me and I don't moderate the site.
I just figured out I can disable comments on my blog. Good. This blog is for my opinions and nobody else's, just as those forum posts seem to be for those members in question. (In fact, the post I'm talking about, like this entry here, would have belonged far more in a blog than in a CIVIL DISCUSSION forum.) Let's hope THIS site function works the way it's supposed to.
I hate when I take a lot of time to reply to a post asking for suggestions on something, then the asker returns later with something like, "Never mind, I completely changed what I was doing so none of this applies anymore!"
I realize it happens, I've probably done it myself, but still, it's frustrating. I hate feeling like I've wasted my time trying to be helpful.
And I wonder why it's so hard just to find where to post to my blog?? *clicks through like ten pages to find it* Holy crud, there it is. Yeegh.
A little while back I rated a thread here two stars, not because I disagreed with it, but because what I had thought would be some sort of discussion of a news article turned instead into a bunch of people ranting and raving and basically patting each other on the back as they all agreed on a particular subject. I can't go into more detail without giving away the thread itself, but I had kind of hoped that there would be some actual civilized discussion/debate of the topic at hand, which is a very heated topic. But it was just a big lynch mob, and very saddening to read. I didn't comment because I knew anything I said could be misconstrued (thus proving my point), and just rated it a two. I purposefully avoided a followup post by the same person because I felt it would be exactly the same and I didn't want to appear like I was "stalking" to give bad ratings (something that happened to me on a different site in the past).
Today I see what appears to be the very same thread I rated and there is still just one rating on it, BUT, it is five stars. Meaning that either my rating was deleted and someone else's was added, or else mine was changed. I lean toward the former, truthfully. But either way it seems terribly unethical. Why should my rating count less because I disagreed? Doesn't that rather nullify the whole point of rating?
If there's some sort of site rule against voting on threads without commenting then I guess I understand. But I wasn't aware of this, and either way, like I said, whatever happened to my rating seems terribly unfair. I didn't speak up to explain my rating as I didn't really feel inclined to invite the wrath of the lynch mob. Been there before, done that. Not worth the trouble. I thought one rating and then letting it go would suffice, but now that my rating is apparently gone (I can't be 100% sure, but it seems that way to me), it seems I'm not allowed that opinion.
This makes me rather leery of remaining on an otherwise decent site.
Not that I think anyone will notice this post, but I won't be replying to any comments on it. I'm tired of dealing with other people's drama; I have my opinions and I stick by them. Just like the people in that thread. The only difference is, apparently they're allowed their opinion and I'm not.
Separate names with a comma.