Hopelessness creeps from my mind.
Yet again ive lost someone.
Someone so important to me.
I feel like dieing.
So i set on a walk of discovery.
Unable to tell what i will see.
A tree bends down and kneels to me.
What is this soposed to mean?
Ive never seen anything like this before.
My eyes are playing tricks.
I could tell from the begining.
But then it happened.
The tree spoke to me.
Dont give up my child.
There will be another him.
Your strong enough.
You can make it threw this broken hearted misery.
Just whatever happens.
Whatever you decide to do.
No one has the power to break you.
You shall make it till the end.
Hes comeing for you.
Just breath untill hes here.
Then you'll know what to do.
Just make it threw.
Here it is again.
That same dreaded time of life.
The time in which i sit and wonder.
The time in which i sit in site.
Its strange you know.
For me to be in site i mean.
Normally im alone.
All by myself.
In a dream.
Here it is again.
The time where my tears cal fall.
Around my birthday that is.
If its not april.
Its not ok.
The world has its expectations.
And i have mine.
Although it all goes away.
My head is heavy.
My chest stings more than i can handle.
My arms feel as if they will fall off.
My stomach screams for some real food.
My legs give into the weight of my body.
Im not in good shape.
I hate being sick.
I hate missing school and not seeing my friends.
I always try to push threw it.
But in the end im just not strong enough.
Physical illness is taking over me.
Why wont it just ****ing stop!?!
Its beutiful outside today too.
The teencenter is going to be open.
All my friends are hanging out at the park.
And i cant go...
All because of my stupid cold.
I wish i could run.
Run so far that not a soul could find me.
I have no idea where i would go.
But it would not be here.
Id have nothing but clothes and an ipod.
The ipod containing every song i cold ever want.
I could be sad, lonley, happy, or even apathedic.
Id have a song to match that.
Id use a stick to write in the grass.
Or the sand depending where im at.
**** makup and **** hair straighteners.
People are always gonna judge me.
So why even try to fit thier perfect expectations.
I know ill never meet them.
I wouldn't talk to anyone but myself.
Im the only one i can ever count on.
As for food, id make do with what i find.
Water is everywhere so that would be easy.
The hardest part would be not falling victim to the drugs of the streats.
Id run as fast as i can when they try to overtake me.
Cry so hard that i cant penetrate anymore tears.
Scream so loud that my throat starts to bleed.
And miss everyone so much that id come back in a day.
I love my friends to much.
My family i could care less about.
My friends have become my family.
They keep me sober.
They're always there to talk to.
They're hugs make me smile a faint smile of hope.
Im staying right here.
Where im wanted.
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