1. The experiment with POV (750 words). Feedback encouraged.

    Here are three of the PoV shifts, of a total of six for the chapter. I am trying to show both sides of the battle by doing this, and keep the events in Chronological order. Rather than repeat the events from the opposing POV in a second scene. Does this work, or is it just confusing to the reader? The intruders came charging into the temple. How dare they invade the sacred space like this! He would teach them some manners. With a gesture, his undead began moving toward the invaders....
  2. This is a part of my fantasy novel that im writting, please inlighten me about what i can do better.

    Flickering between consciousnesses, Awuduwin could see rubble and ice being held above him in place. When he finally felt he as if he regained a bit of strength he crawled out from under the rubble glacier with bloody hands and an aching head. He pulled himself up to see the town on fire and people running away from knights with light emerging from within the armor, swinging their swords towards anyone who tried to get near…or far. The fires were massive and if not for the dark sky, Awuduwin...
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