Funny things about my life...

  1. I'm choosing denial

    I'm Choosing Denial If somebody asks: Did that really happen on saturday? I'm choosing denial. When someone says: You're family really forgot? I'm choosing denial. Should somebody say: It was that bad? I'm choosing denial. I'll choose denial like a loyal friend. I'll reject reality like the current trend. I'll run with denial, and I will never look back again.
  2. Yours

    Is it bad that I want to be held, but in arms that aren't yours? Is it bad that I want to be kissed, but by lips that aren't yours? Is it bad that I want to be gazed at lovingly, but by eyes that aren't yours? Is it horrible that I fear being loved, but only by the heart that is yours?
  3. Oh, you can see me?

    Sometimes I wonder if I exist at all, or if I'm just the figment of a collective imagination. I see that all those around me are alive, but I just survive. I can't live life to the fullest, and won't be able to change that- sadly. I wonder often, if I'm missing something, that Happy Teen Gene that so many seem to flaunt, but alas- I don't possess. I try to smile, it gets me nowhere. I try to laugh, it gets me nowhere. I try to blend in, but I can't. And, it seems, I have personalites...
  4. The Verge of Tears

    That's where I stand right now. I need to rant. I need to vent. DO NOT correct me on anything, I need to say this. First, Obama. I am happpy that a black man has made it to the presidency. That said, I don't give a damn that he's biracial, that he's black, that he's white. He is a MAN. Only a man, a very lucky and prophetic man, but man none the less. People put him on a pedestal and either stare up at him in awe or aim and shoot until he falls. Leave him the hell alone. Allow him to...
  5. Give an inch, and a mile will grow

    show a little kid a pretty color and you've given her the rainbow show her a butterfly and she's seen a flitting fairy show her the moon she'll aim for the stars show her compassion and she'll know love show her a smile and she'll know joy show her the sun and she'll see the galaxy show her you care and she'll want for nothing
  6. Yeah, it's raw...

    Got my coca-cola glass and I'm spinnin' it around, pondering and wondrin' why my world's upside down. Got messed up in things I couldn't avoid, and now I am confused, also annoyed. Spin little glass, you're my centerfuge. Can't take anymore, reality deludes. Good gawd dang! I thought I had escaped; but here I am again, in my emotions draped. Darned skippy, my emotions are worn on my sleeves. And when I finally embrace sanity, it gets up and leaves. Can't take it any...
  7. Leave Out All the Rest

    That is not only an allusion to my new favorite/mainstay song by Linkin Park- it also titles my latest observation in life. See, I try to live a good life, I've never done anything illegal, I work hard at most everything I do- but I can never shake this nagging feeling that, if I were to die tomorrow, there would be only a handful of people that would remember the person that is me ten years afterwards. It's not so much a rant of a depressed person- I've been counseled and declared "too...
  8. Don't read this, just go past it please:):(

    Random thoughts they're like my friends the only entity on which I depend these thoughts take me everywhere free me from something yet giving me nothing maybe that's a lie they have handed me gifts like Alaska like Chrys my hopes my dreams my goals my beliefs all are the gifts of my random thoughts my secret plots things that develop for naught i know there will be those that have a problem with how I've written this well, boo and hoo it's my style not...
  9. The Odd Musings of a Z

    Love fully, live happily, and forgive unconditionally. Growing takes learning; learning takes understanding, understanding takes trying, and trying takes COMMITMENT. Wield your pen so that it may maim the confidence of the guy with the sword. Don't underestimate Forever until you are on your deathbed. Life goes on whether you're weak or strong, just try not to be dragged along. You have to get up and strut, or at least pretend not to crawl. Loves come and go; your knowledge...
  10. Method Writing

    I have often heard of actors whom "become" their current role as a way to better understand the character. I never would have thought that there was a such thing as a "Method Writer," but I think I am one. I realized this first when I started playing RPG- I felt like I was in the mind of my characters. I often had to remind myself that the members and their respective characters were not the same entities- and that I could not start fires with the mere thought of doing so, could have been...
  11. My name is triple z, and I am addicted to NOT STAYING STILL

    So, I have beeen off for awhile, and I sincerely apologize to any that care that I was gone. To be honest, this is the forst time in seven days that I had access to a computer and didn't have homework to do:D Yay me :D Anywho... In the last seven days I have: >earned the fourth highest rank on my tennis team (of fifteen girls) >confessed to my guy friend that I liked him, and my girl friend >set these two up because they liked each other >broke the two up because they were confused to...
  12. Not understanding is Like Kissing A Flame

    Okay, while the other little girls were imaging their weddings, and how they were going to meet a prince and fall in love and live in a castle with their thoudans and one ponies, I was trying to understand what the hell was wrong wth them? Was I the delusional one, or was it them? My mom says I never asked for a horse, never ever mentioned marrying a prince, and -to this day- refuse to tell how many kids I want. I don't want them, they don't care if you do, and I see no point in planning....
  13. nothhing, no title

    sometimes I wonder if I've any friends at all they say ne'ry a word to me in summer attached to my hip come fall or even worse "I'm there for oyu" yet no actions prove said words true I admit that I'm not always nice but I don't lie about how I feel I tell you true "I just don't want to be 'rpound you" Can these words not be spoken to me or are there none that wish to say them I don't want a bff but I want to know I've freinds left people don't like when I'm always...
  14. Telling ya'll not to read didn't work, so whatevs

    I was dumb enough to fall in love Slowly, silently With my lips seared tight To watch my affection grow and become something I didn't know Sure, I'm still me too damned stubborn not to be But I can see what I'm doing The subtle little things just for a hint of attention the little favors that I now see might misconstrue my intentions I'm helping someone else yet feeling pain myself But then again I've always been slighltly masochistic And never one for...
  15. Funny Little Thing, Life

    Okay, you know that movie with Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom? Well this guy fat-finger dialed my Gram's phone, texting her this gobble-dee-gook. So she hands me the phone, and I txt him back wanting to know who he is. His name's brad. So, I ask who I am. Kelly. Nope. Verbatim: wrong name, wrong number, night brad. That was a week ago. He did it again last night, the same first message, but I actually decided to txt him back for the heck of it. i had to remind him that I'm not...
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