Personal Writing

  1. What's Anime to me anyway?

    I've always loved animation. I don't know why, but I favoured it over live-action based movies since basically forever. My earliest memory of it is in the very early 2000s, when my Dad had a TV box that included a channel named "Jetix", which broadcasted animated shows. I don't know much about the logistics, but it is an American channel, and it did exist in Greece where I grew up. In fact, many of the shows were officially translated to Greek. Not sure what's going on there but I'm glad...
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  2. Sneaking Suspicions- Meet The Protagonists!

    Hey everybody! Here with a [very late] protagonist introduction for Sneaking Suspicions. As some of you may already know, Sneaking Suspicions has three main characters, and here are their profiles: Protag #1: Wavepaw A lovable, mischievous, and ever-excitable sweetheart, Wavepaw has finally achieved her dream of becoming a medicine apprentice. She's been following her now-mentor, Ivyhawk, around since she could walk, and as such already possesses a remarkable amount of medicine knowledge and...
  3. My Relationship with Nature

    Discovering Mary Oliver has brought some changes. I've always liked the Transcendentalist poets, but find their poetry sometimes difficult, and I feel very removed from them, since they lived in an earlier era, and were all long-dead when I first walked the earth. But Mary Oliver is a modern Transcendentalist, and also a powerful link to the earlier ones. She helps me understand their writing, their ideas, and their lives, and better connects me to them in ways I wouldn't be otherwise. She...
  4. Hard to Explain

    Describing a dream, no matter how moving to the teller, invariably brings feigned interest and stifled yawns from the most patiently listening audience. The magic of the dream, its spell, cannot be captured in the outside world; it comes from deep within the dreamer. Vivid imagery and intense emotion can't be easily, if at all, captured by words and the logic of telling. It's the same with my recent sojourn back to western Nebraska. Most people have no idea of what that landscape is...
  5. Cue the Eerie Music

    While reading cultural anthropologist Loren Eisely's autobiography, All the Strange Hours, a book that had mysteriously appeared on my bookshelf years after I thought I had given it away or lost it I came upon this entry: "In the year 1975 twenty-one people died in a air crash at the Mayan religious center of Tikal in Guatemala. Strange, is it not, that twenty-one tourists born over a thousand years after the fall of the Mayan Empire, and only aware of it because of the archaeological...
  6. Awakening

    Awakening I don’t know where I came from, and I don’t know where I’m going when I die. But for this brief interlude, I am here. My body is my home. I have a sense of home in myself. Each day brings new learning. I awaken to being wrong, I awaken to being right, I awaken to dawning truths I had never considered. In sleep, there are limits. Blind spots in our perception. How can you answer the question – What if? – if your senses are not on alert, if you are not fully awake? Did you even...
  7. Exercise in futility?

    "When the mind is dumb, the body suffers," said my janitor co-worker to me in Swedish. That is true. Some years ago, I studided English at a university. I had decent grades and an excellent vocabulary. I only survived a few months before a mental illness took over. Nowadays it feels like my prime is gone. Like when I am trying to learn new things I can not do it. Getting new knowledge is like punching my meaty fists against a concrete wall. I feel stupid. I feel as though it is very hard...
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  8. Figuring Out My Relationship with God

    Figuring Out My Relationship with God Don’t know what’s got into me but I want to go back to church. I used to go to mass every Sunday with my mother and it felt like going home sitting beside her in the pew in the same church in which I was baptized, confirmed and got married. But then Covid hit and we stopped going. And then we entered the worst part of my husband’s battle with MS which ended with his death in September of 2021, and my faith was shook up bad. There was no God in what...
  9. Long Winter, Intrusive Memories, and Dreams of You

    I don't remember the winters lasting so long when I was younger. The worst parts of life didn't seem to last so long in hindsight, yet things felt like they lasted forever in the moment. Is every year of our lives just a coin toss between enjoying the view from the mountain top, or looking back at the peaks? I had a dream about an old teacher. That long dead period of my life where part of me is stuck. 15 years later and the memories that intrude into my mind more often than not are from...
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  10. Honestly, It's Not for Everyone

    That’s Nebraska’s current tourism slogan, and it seems perfect to me. Most people from the state (at least among those I know) will freely admit there are no obviously sublime sights, no real mountains, no towering redwoods, no massive canyons, only one real waterfall (and it ain’t much by Niagara standards). But then they will say something like, “it’s got a lot of subtle beauty.” And so it does. I was born in ranch country, way out in the northwest corner of the state, in the shadow...
  11. In Praise of Imperfection

    In Praise of Imperfection Years ago, I read that, in some cultures, a vase that has been cracked and repaired is considered more beautiful than a perfect specimen. The imperfection tells a story of triumph. “I have suffered, but I have survived.” Battle scars are to be worn proudly. It’s the imperfection that adds depth to the piece. Imperfection is a lot more interesting than perfection. Otherwise, what would we gossip about? But seriously, what is perfectionism but an attempt to...
  12. True to Type

    I've been reading H.L. Mencken's A Choice of Days, selections from his autobiography that deal with his early adult life, culminating with his work as reporter and later city editor of the Baltimore Sun. Engaging, clever, sometimes painfully casually racist, but all in all a good read. But what I am most taken by at the moment is the cover photo of him as a young man, at a desk, corncob pipe in one hand, a stack of typed paper to one side of an old-fashioned typewriter, with his other hand...
  13. All I can do

    All I feel I do is endure. There is no way out of this thing, this experience of awareness. All the pain, and all the pleasure passing by while I watch it. Everything is happening in one space, and I don't even know where or what it is. What I am. The thoughts that come up are the same, I don't choose which ones arise, I only notice some of them as they do. Some are more viral than others, and the whispers of others often wiser. No wonder this idea of the angel and devil on the shoulder is...
  14. Little Stevie's adventures in Hollywood

    Close Encounters is really the story of Little Stevie Speilberg getting swept up from his ordinary life and into the exciting world of Hollywood. You gotta look deep into the subtext to see it though. He used Richard Dreyfus as his alter ego in Close Encounters and Jaws, and both movies feature elements of his own life and the excitement he experienced getting into Hollywood. I know, that's a lot to swallow. Guess I'd better start to back it up. Note the UFOs are mainly seen as spectacular...
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  15. Dreams/nightmares

    I really don't know what to call them any more, they start as dreams and develop into nightmares or something else in between? At first you could be in control and little by little you lose that control. You notice it, all you have to do now is see what happens and pray you wont feel anything that's coming. You feel the fear, the pain, all the feelings. I cannot run away from it anymore, or hide. I can only take a glimpse of what is to come. Just a glimpse. Since is not the first time any...
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