Chudz Blog 5

Chudz Blog: (Entry 5) Beer Quest – Part 3


(The Scene: Twilight is descending. We find ourselves hovering over an empty construction site where several luxury homes are being erected, about a half-mile from Chudz Tower. Suddenly, we hear a door opening, and our view centers on a port-o-potty far below, where someone is exiting. We quickly zoom in for a closer look and see that it’s. . . .)

Goldilocks steps out of the port-o-potty and closes the flimsy door behind her. Peering around to make sure she’s still alone, she grumbles about how her insides have never quite been the same since that fateful incident. Realizing she’s in the clear, she holsters her M1911A1 semi-automatic pistol, and stows the copy of “Soldier of Fortune” that she was reading, in one of the deep pockets of her fatigues. She starts heading for one of the homes—where she has setup her sniping position—when she hears a helicopter approaching.

(The Scene: As she is scanning the sky, the Huey comes thundering over one of the nearby houses. Trailing smoke, the helicopter is spinning out of control and losing altitude fast. Goldilocks glimpses a bulky silhouette braced in the back, and her blood runs cold.)

Goldilocks draws her pistol in a flash and empties the clip at the receding chopper, muzzle flashes strobing in the darkness. She then starts running for the rest of her equipment as the helicopter disappears behind a distant tree line.

(The scene switches to onboard the helicopter.)

Chudz says: Holy *Beep!*

Chudz looks around and sees the mechanical hand hovering over its censor button, strapped to one of the seats in back.

The mechanical hand flashes Chudz the peace sign, as The Doors: “Light My Fire” starts blaring over the chopper’s speakers.

Chudz chuckles.

Mr. B. is almost completely green now, due to all of the spinning.

CB says (over the intercom): Hold on, this is going to be a rough landing.

Chudz says: *Cough* I’m too handsome to die!

Mr. B. bazooka vomits out of the chopper.

Chudz says: Well, you’re not exactly Brad Pitt in a fur coat either, Pal!

Mr. B. chuckles and hopes they crash soon, so he’ll be back on the ground at least.


(The scene fades to black with just the music being heard for a few seconds. Then there is the sound of a large object impacting the earth, followed by silence.)