Fall poem that I'm working on

By peachalulu · Dec 13, 2012 · ·
Categories:
  1. So far this is just jottings that I made coming home one misty day in late November.
    They're relatively unconnected but I'm trying to tie them all together.


    Apricot moonbeam in October
    distills a haunting light,
    stirring heart whispers of
    things that only a
    jack-o-lantern with his
    savage grin can comprehend.

    Grapevines are hair-netted
    after last leaf has dropped.
    Pink clouds shoulder the sun to bed.
    Mists obscure a violet escarpment.
    A bonfire in the distance curls
    it’s incense.
    Green has faded to yellow.
    Naked black trees stand lonely
    in the distance their limbs like
    their beginning. Wild and wanton
    shoots endlessly reaching.
    A hawk wheels over an motionless
    windmill.

    The mist rides in like an
    apocalypse erasing a world,
    starting new. Swallowing
    up violet mountains, barren
    trees, lonesome fields of barley
    and the tongue of road so that
    there is no tomorrow in the windshield
    and no yesterday in the
    mirror there is only now.
    Threatening to be engulfed.

    Snow twinkles at twilight
    aglitter over black
    pavement like fallen
    diamonds.
    I walk on stars and hear
    them crackle beneath
    my feet. If I close
    my eyes I can taste them
    crisp burning a flash out
    on my tongue. The iciest
    of fire.
    Categories:

Comments

  1. JJ_Maxx
    Gah, I wish I could get poetry, cause this sounds nice. I lost most faith in knowing good poetry when 'One Spaghetti' won the poetry contest last week. :(
  2. Lemex
    I actually rather like this. Rather Wordsworthian. Seems, and reads, like this would be good for Miltonic blank verse to me but ... not bad.
  3. peachalulu
    Thanks JJ and Lemex! I know what you mean about getting poetry. I read it love it, but sometimes I don't get what
    makes it good - plus I've read a lot of beatnik stuff - Ginsberg, Kerouac and it seems so unstructured. And Dylan
    Thomas blows my mind, he's definitely out there. Beyond classification.
  4. Lemex
    Poetry is one of those things that takes a long time to properly familiarize yourself with. Once you find out who you like and what sort of style you like it becomes worlds easier. You just have to do the hard work to get there, and read around poetry to get it properly. If that makes sense.
  5. peachalulu
  6. adriannajoleigh
    I really like this one. Poetry is emotion and sense in rhythm. No need for iambs all the time. Just write what you feel and make sure it flows. You did such a great job here. I have been going over your work and can tell you have a great talent for writing, no matter what sort of writing it is. :) Im so privileged to have come across your work. I hope one day you will get to see mine and critique it. I am still learning but I know a good writer when I see one. :)
  7. peachalulu
    Thanks! Adriannajoleigh - I look forward to seeing your work. It's fun to see all the different styles and stories on this
    site!
  8. adriannajoleigh
    I agree! I will post as soon as my 14 days are up of requirements are done lol. I will then start posting my writings. Im just starting to explore it so its not perfect but Im dying to get it all out there. :)
  9. summerrain
    I think this is really beautifully written. Unusual metaphors and imaginings. Nice style and a pretty mental picture.
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