Making Frustrating Money

So what's stopping you? I'm not being facetious, I'm truly curious. You sound like you are in a good place to do the writing you want. Perhaps you are demanding too much, too early. Maybe you can start writing a story or whatever, with only a vague idea where it's going, and simply write. Then read it and re-write, honing what you are trying to say, looking for things to emphasize and (perhaps more importantly) things to strike out. Then rewrite, rinse, repeat.

To expect a first draft to push anyone's emotions is probably expecting too much -- except it will probably stir your emotion of frustration. Which is as it should be. Maybe you need to get your frustration to a boiling point, then transfer it to your writing.

I don't know if you've tried it or not, but setting down a written goal often focuses my mind. Write down a checklist of 2-3 things that you want out of your work, and then write down questions about how you can tick each and every one off your checklist. Answer them, and then do them until you tick them off. For me, doing it this way means I have a daily or weekly 'to do' list, and I treat myself to something (like a cake or a day off) whenever I get something ticked. Don't beat yourself up if you don't tick anything off, either. Just say to yourself "Okay, this week i'm going to try harder!" and keep rinse and repeating until you tick.

At the end of the day, there's only one person stopping you from doing what you want, and despite us responding can give you help with ideas to do that, it always will come back to you.