Mexico

By briannagh19 · Aug 2, 2011 · ·
Categories:
  1. To explain all of the things running inside of my mind would be as tedious to me writing it as it would be to you to read it... but I need to tell someone and you seem so intent to listen...

    I am worried, about being lost. I am worried that I will be lost inside of someone again and once I am lost, they will abandon me.

    Like a child following a trusted soul into the forest, through the twists and turns of the trees, avoiding the overhang together, pulling aside the thorny vines, making the path clear and visible.
    "Sit by that rock, we will play hide and seek. I will hide and you will seek."
    Counting to ten, always seems like the longest ten...
    "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... ten!"
    Hands uncovering the hidden eyes, looking up to find no one, to find... nothingness...

    You can come up with many scenarios. They are lost, have become lost, were always lost... It is me, became me, was always me...

    I have the type of personality that is always giving a part of myself up to someone. Especially when they ask me too. I will do it willingly; will do it willingly. But if you want it, I have it, so come and get it...
    I have the type of personality that feeds off my ability to give. I have the type of personality that gets a kick out of making people feel good.

    I have the type of personality that not only likes to throw myself into something or someone, but who also then adds all value to that something or someone...

    What is there for me without the things that make me feel valuable. I have nothing. I am nothing. I am not worth anything in this world.

    Unlike a child following a trusted soul into the forest... I do not trust myself to follow you.
    Categories:

Comments

  1. Radrook
    Thanx for sharing. Felt that way myself many times.
  2. Radrook
    What does your blog have to do with Mexico?
  3. teacherayala
    Your post kind of worries me a little. When you are depending on others in order to find your intrinsic worth, you will always be disappointed. Because humans are fundamentally imperfect. It's up to us to define ourselves outside of human relationships because human relationships are so flawed and bound to let us down at some point. I'm not saying that human relationships are bad, just that there has to be some other frame of reference in order for you to feel like you have value.

    At my school, our "Core Beliefs" start with the belief that "every human being has intrinsic worth." You are alive, you are capable, you are unique, and you are irreplaceable. If you're trying to make a decision in here somewhere about whether or not to trust a relationship, a certain level of vulnerability is necessary in order to make any relationship work. BUT--you are almost doomed to failure unless you can find something else to also balance your sense of self-worth.

    Maybe I'm really far off base with this...
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice