Missing the chance to apologise

By Sam 69 · Oct 9, 2018 · 744 · 5
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  1. It's yesterday evening and I am in a queue at a supermarket checkout and the woman who is behind me in the line starts saying, in a low voice something about 'having no manners'. This is clearly directed at me but I have absolutely no idea what breach of queuing etiquette I have committed. Possibly I haven't moved forward quickly enough to allow her to put her items on the moving belt - or perhaps I knocked my empty basket against her when I leaned over to place it on the pile of empty baskets? I have no idea and if I were a better person, or at least a better communicator I would have turned to her and apologised in a general way, but I am confused and I just stare ahead and sulk. I sulk on the way home in the car and, now the next day it is still on my mind. I wish I were one of those effortlessly well mannered and courteous people (often they are americans) that you come across. They would know how to deal with this situation. Clearly I am not one of those people and I wonder how many times a day I am causing offence and not even realising it.

    I'll try to be more aware in the future but, world, I fear that this could happen again.
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    paperbackwriter likes this.

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  1. paperbackwriter
    now the next day it is still on my mind.

    welcome to RA. Regretters Anonymous. if you do it long enough then it becomes Ruminators Anonymous.
    paperbackwriter, Oct 9, 2018
      Sam 69 likes this.
  2. Sam 69
    More likely just Recording in the belief that these thoughts have some value and the knowledge that they will be forgotten by the end of the week.
    Sam 69, Oct 9, 2018
      paperbackwriter likes this.
  3. GrahamLewis
    Why presume she was right -- or even directing it at you? Perhaps you could trust your own experience more than presumed judgments?
    GrahamLewis, Oct 10, 2018
      Irina Samarskaya likes this.
  4. Sam 69
    I suppose that my experience tells me that I can be viewed as clumsy and therefore discourteous at times, so I did make the link to myself and accepted her rebuke whatever it was for and in doing so am accepting that there is something in my behaviour that I need to address.In addition and as a writer I do often want to record these events - rather selfishly seeing them as resources to be mined at a future time. Thanks for the comment Graham.
    Sam 69, Oct 10, 2018
  5. GrahamLewis
    I'd rethink that a bit. There are people out there who are overly-judgmental, and sometimes just in a bad mood, and sometimes mistaken. Sometimes you may be mistaken. You seem to be overly-willing to accept whatever outside judgment you feel you detect.

    That's of course my opinion on your experience so treat it for what it's worth. Based on what you say it seems to me that you are investing a lot of energy on things that may or may not be true, or that may or may not be worth it. Your choice, but it strikes me as a waste of your limited supply of life energy.
    GrahamLewis, Oct 10, 2018
      Irina Samarskaya likes this.
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