Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a bittersweet event in my household. It's littered with grief, anger, sorrow, disgust, and all those emotions that I would much rather just not feel.

I had a fabulous Mom. Lost her to a heart attack when she was 42. I was 24. Days like today, I miss her like crazy. I'd always buy her fake flowers, it was a running joke.

As I raise my Grandchildren, and I watch their Mother talk about how much she misses her kids on Facebook, the rage sets in. If you miss them so much CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOUR. Do what you must to make it happen. Let the pain of losing them propel you to become a better person for them, for yourself.

I feel cheated sometimes. Yes, I chose to raise them, but I have done my part, in raising my own children and I did my part well. Regardless of the choices they later made. However, because of their Mother's selfishness, and my son's absolute idiocy I am left to clean up their mess once more, otherwise the children are the ones to suffer. It is something I accept and am grateful to be able to do, but I am also human and am allowing myself to be angry.

Days like today I can't help but feel out and out like smacking them both upside the head and saying 'If I at the ripe age of 15 could decide to raise you, and do it well, then you at 30 can certainly shoulder this load.'

Instead, I'll just write about it, let the grandchildren call their Mom and smile and pretend its all okay.