A Close Shave

By GrahamLewis · Feb 5, 2019 · 607 · 8

Yesterday when I met my son's van that brought him home, the driver looked at me and said, "So you're growing it out, too?" I was confused until I noticed he was in the relatively early stages of a beard. I stroked my own face and realized I was a bit bewhiskered, with two or three days' worth of stubble. That's what it means to be formally retired, I guess. I often forget to shave, until some public contact is coming up, or until my better half strongly suggests it, or I simply figure it's time, on my own terms. I realize now how easy it is for single old men to get very seedy looking very fast. But, as I said, I have a wife and for that matter, since we married and had kids late, a youngish daughter, both of whom sometimes sort of keep me in line on such things. And my son has faint mustache and beard that need occasional trims.

At the YMCA gym yesterday, I fell into conversation with a fellow retiree/workout person, and we were discussing some weighty philosophical issues (bear in mind that this guy had been a high-ranking public official with lots of political contacts and experience). One of our fellow cyclists talked to us a bit, then went off to swim, then came back and found us still talking. He kind of laughed at the way our time had gone by while he prepared to go back to work. Reminded me of a t-shirt I saw that same day, which said, "Warning -- Retiree who knows everything and has time to tell you about it."

Another younger cyclist said on his way out, "Well, I guess I better go back to work and earn money to pay your retirement benefits." We nodded and said thanks.

Not sure where I'm going with this. I retired for one reason -- I didn't want to die while toiling at a job I hated when I didn't have to; and when I was/am still healthy enough to do things. I never planned to simply sit around and grow older or grow a beard, and so far I haven't. I do recognize and appreciate the need and opportunity for an afternoon nap -- but I set an alarm. And my son keeps me busy and involved. I've joined the gym and work our regularly. I went skydiving. I've rediscovered and am re-reading the Tao te Ching (and figuring out that that younger me, who I was in such a hurry to leave behind, might have been on to something). I'm trying very hard to honor myself, ironically trying to do that by not trying, but by accepting. If that makes sense. Still trying to figure out what comes next.

For now, though, I think I'll shave today, though maybe I'll leave the mustache, which I last had forty-some years ago, when I was a sort of stud-muffin. The wife will hate it, but then, I have time for that.
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Some Guy and paperbackwriter like this.

Comments

On re-reading this, I'm uncomfortable with the comment about old men looking "seedy." That's such a judgmental term and not something I'm comfortable having said. Who knows what other people, of any age, are doing or thinking inside? I don't like being someone who judges by appearance, but I guess at least a part of me is. Mea culpa.

GrahamLewis, Feb 5, 2019
So you associate facial hair - which is a biologically natural thing, as natural as tigers growing fur - with seediness? That's a pretty unhealthy association there, if you don't mind me saying so. It's a kind of self-loathing, which is to say, a disliking of the human body, as though it's something to be ashamed of etc. The reality is: Male humans grow facial hair. It's natural. I think our society suffers a lot from this kind of bodily dissociation, so much so that people will spray poisonous chemicals directly onto sensitive glands in order to prevent the body from sweating, even though sweat is an essential bodily function, perfectly natural.

I'm not singling you out - you seem like a very reasonable person. However, I've come to the conclusion that society is mentally unwell and has been for many centuries. We lurch from one destructive and irrational behaviour to the next, all the while convincing ourselves that our generation is at the peak of human evolution.

Humans are deluded and steadily heading towards the next big delusion-induced catastrophe.

Solar, Feb 5, 2019
Wow. I had no idea I was so close to disaster. Either you missed my point or I revealed something about myself I didn't know was there.

Seriously, I have no issue with facial hair, certainly no "loathing". I wish I could grow a better beard, mine is always so scraggly. I have no obsession with plastic perfection and no antipathy toward natural functions and smells. When I talked about "seediness" I was thinking of some of the guys I see at places like the public library, scruffy and old dirty clothes, strong dirty body odors and and so on. I think they have issues of one sort or another, and are not mentally well.

But as I said, I want to back away from judging those folks. Or anyone. That's their business and their lives. In my younger days I had hair down to my shoulders and the occasional beard or scruff, and wore old jeans and t-shirts or sweaters, and felt that people spend too much time on grooming to meet social norms. Then I went over to the "dark side" and entered a profession with strict sartorial norms. I got used to wearing a tie and dark suit and black wingtip shoes.

I didn't mind that much, but I am so glad that I don't have to wear a suit anymore, or even "business casual." I'm not an advocate of super deodorants or anything, I agree we go too far with that. At the same time, I usually shower after a gym workout and throw my smelly gym clothes into the laundry. But when I don't get to the gym, I don't usually think about showering.

Maybe this is TMI, but I don't understand how anything I said relates to delusion or catastrophe.

GrahamLewis, Feb 5, 2019
Graham
gonna use one of your lines
thanks

paperbackwriter, Feb 6, 2019
You're welcome to it. Which one?

GrahamLewis, Feb 6, 2019
@Solar

I shaved yesterday after all. I hope that doesn't upset the space-time continuum.

GrahamLewis, Feb 6, 2019
So you honestly think that when old men don't shave they run the risk of looking like the characters you describe? Really? Are you being honest with me? With yourself? If you really think that, then it's a kind of prejudice: to associate a natural physiological function with something so negative (in your mind). I think it goes deeper. Unconscious prejudice.

I simply used the antiperspirant* to illustrate how people are disconnected from their bodies i.e. delusional. They are afraid of their own body and so they spray poisonous chemicals to inhibit a natural function. Don't you think that's weird? I'm not talking about keeping clean - that's perfectly natural. But potentially poisoning yourself because you're afraid of your own biology? That's mentally ill and it's been collectively normalized. If you can't see that, then yeah, in my opinion you are just as deluded really.

And it does relate to catastrophe. Take a look at the last hundred years. World wars, the development of world-killing bombs, the destruction of the biosphere in order to score imaginary points in a game i.e. money etc. etc. etc.? You think that's a manifestation of a 'normal', healthy human species?

It's not. It's the manifestation of a human species that suffers from collectively normalized mental disorder and it will lead to more disaster. Humans suffer from the delusion that they are somehow separate from and above nature. That's a dangerous delusion of grandeur. One that's put the entire biosphere at risk. No other species in recorded history has done that.

Most people don't realise it because their perception of reality is little more than a culturally and socially conditioned mental habit. And a bad habit at that.

*Look at the word 'anti' perspirant. I'm surprised the US government hasn't declared a 'War on Sweat' to go with all their other wars on things.

Solar, Feb 7, 2019
Hey @Solar, I'm going to dial this back. I was mostly jerking your chain with the "time-space continuum" comment. I do get what you are saying about over-excessive use of things like anti-perspirants and so on, and some social obsessions.

I really have no such obsession with regard to shaving or whiskers, and find it odd that we are even having this discussion. The primary point of my original post was simply an observation of surprise that since I formally retired I sometimes forget about shaving, which was a basic part of my daily routine for so long. Not concern or worry or anything, just bemused surprise.

I don't think I have any delusion about being"separate from and above nature." Quite the opposite, I gladly accept that we are part of it all. [Of course, if I did have such a delusion, how, by the definition of delusion, would I know?]. I do think our technological society goes overboard, often fueled by good old capitalism and marketing, and that does worry me. Sometimes a lot.

So I think we are actually on or near the same page.

Agree?

GL

GrahamLewis, Feb 8, 2019

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A Close Shave

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