After spending what feels like an eternity away from the forums i have managed to get back on after a whole lot of never ending disruptions that occurred in my life. From being right on track to being totally derailed and wheeled away for a post mortem. I can't even begin to understand why things went to pot so fast and just who was pitching the curve ball that life threw at me. n a search for the answers to my question which all start with why i came to one conclusive constant. It seemed it was all my fault. I was caught up in trying to be something that i aspire to be but was not actually me. Let me elaborate.
I have always aspired to be the kind of person who needs little but gives a lot. My life is very simple and doesn't stretch out of the bounds of writing and doing schoolwork which for me was the norm. In the process of forcing myself into a personality that i wanted to portray so much i lost track of all the important things in my life and am left with naught. I have botched my entire semester because of it and sabotaged a great deal of relationships with other people in the process.
After figuring out that I was pretending to be something else, it was all too late and the damage was done already but i began to wonder exactly who i was. This was not the first time i had spent an extended period of time trying to adjust the way i am but the aftermath of all of it has left me in a precarious situation and as always i will probably immerse myself in my current writing as the coming holiday is long and i'll have alot of time to think it over.
On a more positive note, it's good to be back here.
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