Capt.Ahab Jan 30, 2009
hm, that is a very interesting plot indeed. I would be careful however in a futuristic setting as this. There will be plenty of scientific and futuristic terms that we as the reader won't know and will rely on you the author to explain them to us. Now the main problem is not explaining them, but doing so in a way that you're not contradicting to other logics or laws.

Careful with that last paragraph. The "again" leads me to believe this woman has already had children? Is that so? In the previous entry you let me know that she was an orphan with no known family and was a gladiator. I'm a bit confused on the whole gladiator thing, but figured that it would be covered in later sections, but would this young woman, growing up as an orphan and then a gladiator be interested in having children at all? I would have to think survival would be a more important issue.

Now the nurse gives hints to her own background by the way she describes the treatment of the young woman. It also reveals that this nurse is also an important character because she does have a background. She is more well rounded than being completely flat. If she is not an important character, then I wouldn't put much more detail in her thoughts or opinion, because that only characterizes her more.

It is still too early to actually give a decent review because I still don't know enough about the characters or story. It makes me want to read more so I can put the pieces together. As for anything grammar related... I'm not the one for that job. It definitely has me interested though. Good Job.