Betty Baxter's Spacecraft Repair Log

By zoupskim · Aug 7, 2016 · ·
  1. Day 27

    Betty: This is an on the spot, emergency audio- hey! Corner that one-...audio log. No, wait wait!

    *Crashing noises*

    Jethro: Heya, uhm. Hey. Jethro here. We... Betty, how do I do this?

    Betty: Just talk into the mic, ding-a-ling! We have to record this!

    Jethro: I just don't-

    Betty: This is unprecedented! It warps all notions of time and reality! We have to documen- Hey! You drop that giant ladybug right now!

    Jethro: Right. So, we were trying to realign solar array fifteen, listening to some Lil'kim, when a whole batch of space cupies just appeared out of nowhere!"

    Betty: It's kewpie, Jethro, no cupie- Get off of that, you freaky little nudists!

    Jethro: It's a nightmare! They're hopping around, touching everything, rubbing their little, flat crotches all over the array- wait, ah ah AH!

    *Loud smack sound*

    Kewpie#43: Yaaayy! Hello, Mr. Space man. Would you like a song?!

    Jethro: Aaahhh!

    Betty: Don't listen! Their bubbly, childish voices will melt your brain!

    Kewpie#163: Loud mouth, big-butt lady is meeeaan!

    Betty: Hi-yah!

    Jethro: They're so pink!

    Kewpie#98: Saltwater taffy for everyone!

    Betty: Reader 6-4, this is Rep 7!

    Marine: This is Reader 6-4, send your traffic.

    Betty: Mayday mayday! We're under attack! Requesting rescue!

    Marine: Roger that, Rep 7. Do you have a description of the enemy force-

    Betty: Some have taffy and insects, they stole my wrench, others appear to be, like, mermaids or somethi-... Oh my space Jesus, one has a garden!

    Marine: ...

    Jethro: *moan* Radish and lilac... *cough* little, tiny little... white fence.

    Marine: The Corps. is on the way. We'll get you outta there, just stay calm and just hold on. Please.

    All Kewpies: Oh, one sunny day in May, when the world was feeling gray-

    Betty: They won't stop singing! Augh, the singing!

    Marine: I said survive, dammit! No, send the Raiders! Call back the fighters. Call back everyone! Broken arrow! Broken arrow!
    IHaveNoName and Lifeline like this.

Comments

  1. Lifeline
    Confusion to the core :D
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