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Body, Mind, Spirit

Published by Carmina in the blog In My Own Little Corner In My Own Little Chair. Views: 102

It is hard to know exactly what to say in a blog when I blog so infrequently. I am still unemployed, but I am helping out as a part-time nanny for a friend of a friend. Her husband left her while she was pregnant with his twins...and getting pregnant was HIS idea. She has a LOT of anger (justified), but that anger eats at her. I haven't known her long, but I can see how that anger is always with her an leaking out at random intervals. I too have been living with a lot of anger...over my termination from my job at the church. For months I would lie awake at night writing an angry letter to my former boss telling just how screwed up my life was and how much I blamed her. I would think of telling her how betrayed I felt, how blindsided. I also lamented everything I had lost, the community, the spiritual connection, even faith. The other night, lying awake next to my snoring husband, crying and writing in my head I decided to actually write that letter. It took me an hour and a half, but I wrote how I felt, what I needed to know from her, and ultimately how I wanted to get past the anger. I wasn't sure as I was writing it if I would ever send it...but in the end, I decided to do it. Getting all those thoughts and feelings out in the world got them out of my head. I feel lighter. My former boss/pastor was very glad that I wrote, even to hear that I was angry. I think I am glad I wrote too. I am still angry...but It isn't eating at me. I think I may be able to move on...and maybe even come back to church at some point. I think I can forgive. It won't be easy, and it won't solve all my problems. But, I think that some spiritual healing will help with my anxiety and depression. Body, mind, and spirit...they all need looking after. So, I am working on spiritual health...now if I can just lay off hte chocolate and get to the gym...
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